BabylonBee: Trump Requests Impeachment Trial By Combat

lol! Now we’re cookin’ with gas!

Babylon Bee: WASHINGTON, D.C.—Congress’s impeachment inquiry got off to a slow start, with a bunch of people just droning on about “quid pro quo” or something, but things soon got exciting when President Trump marched into the hearing wiedling a broadsword and announced, “I demand trial by combat!”

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi then explained to the president that they hadn’t actually determined whether there would be a trial yet, but Trump was undeterred, once again bellowing, “Trial by combat!”

An argument ensued over whether such a thing was allowed, but Trump insisted, “It’s right there in the Constitution. I can have a trial by combat.” Everyone at the hearing admitted they had never actually read the Constitution so they couldn’t verify what Trump had said, but many agreed that it “sounds like something that would be in the Constitution” since the Constitution is “very old.” read more

12 Comments on BabylonBee: Trump Requests Impeachment Trial By Combat

  1. I’m looking forward to the “challenge accepted” from Buttigieg, Booker…
    …or even any of the Democrat MEN.

    5
  2. Match-up I’d like to see: Trump v. Nadler

    And as long as I’m fantasizing:
    — Neil Gorsuch v. Ruth Bader Ginsburg
    — Ted Cruz v. Elizabeth Warren
    — Adm. Mike Rogers v. John Brennan

    Anyone have other suggestions?

    8
  3. …probably true that they would be unable to find a copy of the Constitution anywhere in Congress, too…or, for that matter, a Democrat who can READ…

    5
  4. Beta males and their crazy female handlers against alpha male Donald Trump. Not even a close battle. (No kidding: it’s the battle for our way of life and our freedom.)

    The lesson should be learned by us all.

    5

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