Havana Is Out Of Toilet Paper

That’s a shame.  I feel so bad for them, I won’t even tell them about our colorful and printed versions of toilet paper.

 

How we make teeny tiny TP rolls for doll houses.

How there is so much TP here that we have to find new ways to store the rolls.

 

I won’t tell them that sometimes people have long discussions on the proper way to dispense toilet paper.

 

Maybe Sean Penn, Michael Moore, or that one black guy I can’t remember the name of that was in the Lethal Weapon movies, can pull some strings to have some sent to them in Cuba.
…What was that guy’s name?

 

Breitbart: A Cuban state media outlet confirmed last week that the nation’s capital, Havana, is suffering significant shortages of toilet paper. While the absence of common goods in the communist nation is not uncommon, such acknowledgment of a problem is rare.

The state newspaper Juventud Rebelde (“Rebellious Youth”) reported on Wednesday that toilet paper had “disappeared” from stores in Havana, announcing that the government’s state-run producer of toilet paper had acquired new machinery to generate toilet paper.

“They are not the super-machines, but they have an elevated technology level,” toilet paper engineer Manolo González García told the newspaper. One advantage of the new machines, he explains, is that they can simultaneously churn out two types of toilet paper rolls: a high-quality one for tourists, and an “ecological” one to sell to Cuban citizens.

The Miami-based Cuban news outlet Martí Noticias noted this week that Havana has suffered major shortages of toilet paper “for weeks” before Juventud Rebelde reported on them. Diario de Cuba adds that the Castro regime has begun importing higher numbers of toilet paper rolls from Vietnam while it adjusts its ability to produce the paper domestically, citing Spanish newswire service EFE.  read more

27 Comments on Havana Is Out Of Toilet Paper

  1. A shithole out of toilet paper. Well they could imitate the Muslim lifestyle . What’s the old saying? One hand wipes the….. nope that’s not it.

  2. As I sit here thinking about the Muslim method for ass wiping, I believe I was informed it is the left hand. Trying to think what else equates with the left moniker. Any help guys/gals?

  3. I guess the banana republic countries use much more toilet paper than the rest of us…….probably because they are confronted with so much more shit than we are.

  4. Repeal obamacare and send those thousands of pages of devious horseshit down there to have a good use.

    Send obama down there with them, so his nappy head could serve a real purpose. Like a bar glass brush.

  5. I actually know about being out of TP. Went to Alaska on a 2 month hunting trip.
    10 guys 8 girls we ran out the third week. Butt….there was 50 rolls of paper towels.
    Guess what. Paper towels work great. There was also newspapers and magazines.
    To start the wood stoves 200 pounds worth.
    The girls said they would use wash clothes and wash them everyday using bleach to make sure they were clean.
    We had 3 washers and 3 dryers. So I guess you could use cloth as TP.

  6. I had a chance to go to the Soviet Union as a college student (yes, that was a long time ago…) and our tour guides told us to do what the Russians did back then: get a copy of Pravda (newspaper) in the morning and keep it with us all day to use as TP. Sure enough, pretty much everywhere we went, we saw Russians carrying a Pravda.

  7. Air America should immediately and constantly broadcast those stupid ads with the blue cartoon bears proudly bragging about how clean their butts are.

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