Hey, iOTWers, We’re Writing a Book!!!!!

If Michael Wolff can do it, SO CAN WE!

Everyone can author a bit of this book in the comments section. It’s going to be about leftwing celebrities, pundits and politicians.

Write a bit about what you’ve learned through your sources, a friend of a friend who wants to remain anonymous, about various people.

For instance, a friend told me that a solid source within the Maxine Waters camp says she has a revolting habit, almost too revolting to write here, but here goes. She picks her nose incessantly and wipes it under her desk. A staffer was plugging in a paper shredder and now has PTSD from what he saw – decades of nose pickings. He said, “it was like a bat cave.”

If she’s not at her desk she’ll wipe it under her wig. It’s so bad staffers have taken to having her dip her fingertips in hot sauce to keep her from putting them in her nose.

 

78 Comments on Hey, iOTWers, We’re Writing a Book!!!!!

  1. My sources tell me Hildabeast traded classified information for sexual favors from Mrs. Carlos Danger. No really.




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  2. She also puts he hand inside her dress to scratch her ass and then she smell her fingers. Then she picks her nose as above.




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  3. Certain sources say HRC is an alcoholic, is mentally unstable, and displays signs of Parkinsons disease.

    The same sources indicate she gave the order to “retire” Seth Rich.




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  4. Informed sources tell me that Timmy Kaine cuts the bottoms out of his front pants pockets so that he can always in close touch with his little Timmy.

    When a particularly handsome man walks by he shoves both hands into his pockets and mumbles “Tuscarora”.




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  5. Well, a neighbors hair dresser friend said she was at a fancy grocery store in Hollywood where the maids shop for the stars. In line two maids were discussing how their employers act behind closed doors. Well one said Barbara Streisand french kisses her 3 dogs every morning and night. She bout threw up! Then the other gal said her employer ( think she said the name was Jim Kimmel) he had sex with their dog. She went to the next register, couldnt it anymore. Disgusting!




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  6. Sherrod Brown is a crook. I know this because he used to be my neighbor. Well, he used the house address as his residence although he didn’t really live there. Also did a little arm twisting with the county auditors office to help inflate the price of his house before he sold it. Thus screwing the poor guy who bought it. I have a bunch of UAW stories and Mr Brown too. Sadly, this is not made up. It’s true….i have names 😉




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  7. I have a reliable source who tells me Joe Biden is a serial rapist and pedophile. He’s also refused to publically deny it on multiple occasions.




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  8. Sources indicate that Adam Schiff (D-CA) wears an 8″ strap-on when the House is in session. It is said to give him the feeling of what a real man must be experiencing in those hallowed chambers.




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  9. Rumor has it that DNC Vice Chairman Keith Ellison kneels on a rug facing eastward several times a day. Nobody can figure out why. Something about a cultish religion.




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  10. A friends second cousin draws Joe Biden’s bath and when he farts he sings ‘Born Free’ as the farts break the surface….




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  11. My DC sources said the reason Obama studdered so much giving speeches was due to electrical malfunctions of the dildos he kept up his butt.




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  12. Sources indicate Chuck Schumer (D-NY) regularly stuffs malted milk balls into his soiled undershorts to give the impression of having a pair of real he-man nuts. Additionally, it has been reported by several known twinks close to the Senator that he places a three foot section of rebar along his back so that he is supported when in public.




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  13. Word is from several reliable and a few questionable sources is that unless Comey is in touch with his inner J Edgar Hoover, ie lacy pink panties he’s a little less than secure in his 6’8″ height




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  14. Tom Perez is an illegal alien.
    Guttierez is in love with him and that’s why he is so vehement about amnesty. But Guttierez is an illegal too. Pelosi wants them both not found out because they are her suppliers of botox.
    No, really!
    I heard it from the voices in my head.




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  15. Multiple reliable sources within the White House say maintenance staff have been heard discussing the plumbing problems that plagued the White House for the entire eight years of the obama administration. According to the sources, the drains directly below michelle obamas private bath repeatedly clogged each day around 10AM. Each plumbing crew hired to repair the clog would leave the premises pale, gagging and obviously distraught, never to return, even after repeated calls. Some companies even closed their businesses immediately after leaving.
    Surprisingly, the problem immediately ceased the afternoon of January 20, 2017, which is quite fortunate, since all plumbing contractors within 100 miles of Washington DC refuse to service the White House any more.




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  16. I have it on good authority (my ex-neighbor’s cousin’s boyfriend has an impeccable anonymous source) that Cher actually writes the tweets for Nancy P, Hillary R-C, Elizabeth W and Maxine W. On advice from my lawyer, I left off the last names to protect the innocent – me). Now, we all know what a wordsmith Cher is, so this could be the one piece of damaging information to take these women down.

    Shhhhh, don’t tell anyone! Jeff Sessions is quietly working on a big plan to bring the bitches to justice! Just you wait…soon!




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  17. Doug Jones’ son knew he was gay after helping his dad out with their shirts off in the garage because the nightly tickle fight was much hotter than usual.




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  18. It has been said that sprinkling table salt on Nancy Pelosi’s slime covered and gelatinous tail causes her to writhe in agony.




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  19. My friends step cousin-in-law overheard Harvey Weistein tell somebody he only screwed Meryl Streep as an act of sympathy, cuz Streep could get no loving with that hook nose and homely face.

    When all she could say was “Oh, gawd….oh, gawd” he kept her around as fill-in….he liked the adulation, but always had to have the lights off.




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  20. Michelle 0bama and Beyonce got into a heated text fight 3 years ago. Some of the texts were revealed to me by a source who doesn’t want to be named.

    MO: And Bey, I know what oprah said about me. And you were there. How you not gonna defend me??? WTF?

    Beyonce: I DID!!!! I said I’m friends with both y’all bitches and I ain’t in it.

    MO: Bey, sayin’ you ain’t in it isn’t defending me, girl! That’s WEAK!

    Beyonce: I’m so sick of y’all fighting. It’s bad enough she calls you a bitch and a knuckle dragger every time you’re on TV, but you always blowin up my phone calling her a BBB.

    MO: Because she’s a big black bitch and I’m gonna call her a big black bitch.




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  21. I heard from highly reputable and reliable sources (Reddit, 4chan, and PornHub) that Bernie Sanders, hardcore socialist he is, never buys his own underwear, but gets “redistributed” undergarments, usually off of bums (Har!).




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  22. The White House aquarium had to be donated to a local school after the reason for the mysterious deaths of the sea animals were discovered. Security cameras showed then Vice President Joe Biden putting on lip balm, kissing the sea horse and licking the glass from the inside.




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  23. My friend’s sister’s husband’s first cousin said that Andrew Cuomo and Chris Cuomo are homos and really love each other (wink wink)




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  24. Lazlo is a plant whisperer.
    Those green bastards gripe at me all the time.
    “Water me Lazlo, put me nearer the window Lazlo. Don’t play that Bauhaus crap Lazlo, we want Neville Chamberlain. Bla bla bla !”
    Anyway, a pal u8sed to own a Plant service that took care of all the plants in the Senate and Capitol. If one looked sickly, they yanked it and replaced it and he would take it and nurse it back to health in his yard.
    He moved out here to get away from all that crap (meaning Winter), and having a hoarding streak where plants are concerned he dragged all his plants with him.
    Long story short, I have a Ficus Benjamina that bore direct witness to some unspeakable things. Things like:
    Hilary Clinton is a Reptilian right out of David Ike’s books.
    She’s a minor Poo bah on their world and will likely face ritual Tail Removal for failing to become President and finish what Barry started.
    Area 51 is not a UFO base (that’s outside of Sedona AZ), rather its a hive for growing clone armies. Apparently it goes down seven miles into the earth.
    I have an Ilex Cornuda Rotunda Folia that will swear in court he saw Barak Obama doing bongloads with Trudeau in the snow outside Camp David
    I have a Juniperus Chinenses (not the Fitzgeriana Glauca one) that sat right on top of Jimmy Hoffa for over ten years.




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  25. Cory Booker lives in Nancy Pelosi’s guest bedroom. Sometimes she forgets and calls the police on him thinking he’s a burglar.




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  26. Mitt Romney and Lisa Murkowski have a secret plan to steal the 2020 presidential election. My source looked into his crystal ball and said to not worry about it. They will end up killing each other because they both wanted top billing. The MSM will report it as a lover’s quarrel.




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  27. John McCain takes a supplement to help his mental recall from an ingredient originally discovered in jellyfish.




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  28. Al Sharpton no longer speaks to Jesse Jackson since Jackson Jr. bit Sharpton for reaching in front of him to grab a bagel off the counter in a Chicago deli.




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  29. Hillary Rodham and Bill Clinton are actually brother and sister and she was only 9 years old when they were married by a Democrat Justice of the Peace!




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  30. Sources have shown me photos that Orkin took when touring areas of the White House that needed fumigation. These photos show heaviest infestations around Michelle 0bama’s shoe closet and feed bowls. Not sure who the feed bowls belonged to.




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  31. B. Hussein Obama died as a small child in Indonesia and his stepfather substituted one of his own sons in his place! Obama’s mother then raised the substitute to be the fly speckled Barky we now know!!




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  32. In the Emails uncovered by Judicial Watch’s FOIA requests show complaints lodged by a White House lawn maintenance crew. [Name redacted] bitterly complained of having to hose off Mr. Obama and several unnamed male guests.




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  33. Micheal Robinson turned down a contract to play linebacker for the Chicago Bears in order to wear dresses and to have ongoing carnal knowledge with B. Hussein Obama and other assorted deviant human beings and bovine type animals!




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  34. I’m told that this is a true fact, but who nose? Both Rosie O. and Michael M. have a distinct stench about them, because they are too fat to reach around to wipe heir butts well. Skidmarks, too.




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  35. It has been suggested that the invention of the wheelbarrow was the primary reason Barack Obama learned to walk upright.




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  36. I was in Smiths Bar at 48th Street on 8th Avenue, NYC one night years ago when Keith Olbermann, who was staying across the street at the Manhattan Hotel came out of the toilet with his dick hanging out. A patron said to him, Hey your dick is hanging out, zip it up.
    Olbermann, I think it was Olbermann, said to the guy, whaddayoumean dick? Jewknow who I am? No said the guy, but your dick is hanging out, zip it up, there are broads in the bar, mostly whores, but nevertheless, have a little respect.
    So Olbermann looked down and saw his dick and quickly zipped up. But he caught his foreskin in the zipper, and screamed, and ran back to the toilet. The fucken guy wasn’t even a Jew. It may not have been Olberman, but it sure looked like him. But whoever it was, he’s no Jew.




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  37. Late word from KimTv is that KJU has traded his tailor to Hillary Clinton. In exchange, the Clinton Crime Syndicate sends back a group of ‘body removal’ technicians…and a pallet full of moon pies. I tried to question the reader from KimTv, but all they kept saying was glorious this, and fantastic that. From Mao Suits to pantsuits.




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  38. in the book ‘Blood Feud: The Clintons vs The Obamas’ by Ed Klein, he left out the real reason for the intense hatred between the Hildabeast & the Moose
    … it seems every time that the Clintons were invited back to the White House, Willy would chase all the interns w/ his willy out, & Barry would go dress up as an intern, running after Bill yelling, “Me first! Me first!”
    … also Mooch’s dick is bigger than Hillary’s




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  39. I have it on good authority Elijah Cummings and John Lewis use the smegma from under Bob Menendez’s foreskin to wax their bald heads.
    Maxine Waters housekeeper said Blac Max has roaches living in her hair, that’s why she wears wigs.
    Shelia Jackson Lee uses crippled child labor to do her hair, according to the white women who do her nails.




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  40. Movie industry insiders have informed me that Nancy Pelosi and Hillary Clinton are up for the lead in an updated version of Sunset Blvd. They’re battling it out over who is crazier to achieve Swanson status.

    Instead of a leading playboy character, Hollyweird is packing the fudge with Adam Swalwell and Xavier “I’ll Sue” Becerra as a multicultural couple seeking to gender identify with the help of the leading crazy woman. I’m ready for my close-up Warden.




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  41. Hill rumor has it, that Lil’ Deb Wasperman is transitioning to ( Full} Male and will forgo the new Penis and go with Her Own !




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  42. A close friend whose prigressive mom is close friends with Nancy Pelosi,once told her jokingly that if you sniff glue, it will take away your wrinkles. Since then Nancy has been doing that before every press conference. My friend’s mom is too embarrassed to tell her she was kidding.




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  43. A former college roommate of mine who works as a senior executive at a large Vegas casino told be that Harry Reid has been barred this past New Year’s Eve because at the baccarat table he kept screaming, “In a few hours Mitt Romney will not have paid any taxes in the past 20 years!”




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  44. I can’t top any pf these tales but I find them all more believable than what I have heard from Michael Wolff.




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  45. It’s a well known fact that the silhouette of one of Bill Clinton’s genital warts is a perfect image of FDR complete with cigarette holder.




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  46. Monica Lewinsky’s friend told my ex that She used to refer to Bill’s dick as peeker instead of pecker due to it’s size.




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  47. My sources from the former Obama administration tell me that Barack Obama’s Iran policy was that we were allies and his entire “Iran deal” was just a justification to the American people for simply doing what allies do.




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  48. Like clockwork, MJA, Usually happens around 5pm and the aids head to the local bar to unwind until they recussitate her the next morning at 8:30am.




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  49. @ShakeNBake, not a story, I just heard Josh Mandel is pulling out of the race against Shithead Brown since his wife is ill.




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  50. Actually Eugenia, I heard from a friend that knows someone close to to Chelsea Clinton, that her mom handed her down 65 pan suits, and they all fit, then Chelsea shouted, “Nooooooo!”




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  51. I also heard that Chelsea through all the pants suits in a building in her mother’s Chappaqua property and set it on fire.




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  52. Then when asked about the fire, he stated, “I did not have sparked relations with the fire starter, that woman”.




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  53. Hey, this one is quite serious and not funny. I cannot tell you how I know this but it is a fact based to known confidants: Chelsea Clinton’s husband, Marc Mezvinsky, is currently involved in a sordid affair with Huma Abedin. This has been going on for some time. Chelsea is aware of this and has been fighting for her marriage, but it looks like it will end up in divorce. Not good news.




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  54. There’s been talk Sheila Jackson Lee locks her new interns in an undisclosed bunker in DC until they promise to always compliment her hoodrat hairstyles. One hapless intern was heard saying,”It’s good you twisted that bone in your braid like that, Mz. Lee. Real good you done that.” Lee replied, You better like it mother*$%#, I don’t like no one that doesn’t like my style.”




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  55. There needs to be a chapter on gerbil extractions in the emergency ward! It would star many more than just Richard Gere!




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