Ha! While I’m not nearly as dumb in the DIY realm as this guy, I can relate. Having bought a new pad recently, I’ve been in Home Depot a bit recently. I go there with a small list of things and end up leaving with a bunch of stuff that was never on the list.
I hired a kid with a vo-tech certificate and the foreman sent him up the scaffolding to get some measurements. He hollered down, “It’s 43 and three of those little lines wide.” I finally had to fire him because he kept leaving equipment behind on job sites (large stuff: a skil saw, a ladder). He filed for unemployment which I contested but he got because the state determined the foreman should have made sure he loaded up all the equipment.