More Driving Rants

Okay, I’ll try this one out and see who isn’t down with my rant.

I’m in a parking lot and I’m behind some lady who stops suddenly and puts on her directional, indicating she’s going to be taking the spot that’s about to be vacated by the waddling family heading for their vehicle. That’s fine.

I have to wait because this lady decided she was going to drive straight up the gut, leaving no room to pass her on either side.

The vacating people get in the car and are taking their time, which is what a-holes do when they see someone waiting for the spot.

The back-up lights finally go on, but the lady in front of me suddenly lurches forward about ten feet and puts on her LEFT directional.

Another waddling pack was spotted heading for their vehicle about 2o feet closer to the store.

I am not kidding, this lady went ahead one car length to get closer to the store by about .004% and was now making 2 cars wait. Me and the original waddlers.

You know, people talk about judgement day, when your appear before your maker and answer for the things you’ve done in life.

I’m convinced that God will  say, “I’ve absolved you of the sin you committed when you stole that ring off the corpse you found, because you were contrite. But I’m afraid I can’t let you in because of that dick move you pulled in that parking lot, mainly because you don’t even know how much of a dick you are.”


55 Comments on More Driving Rants

  1. I’m telling ya, parking lots bring out the worst in a lot of people. Who is the worst? I’m saying, it’s overweight, taller than average, government employed, minority, wimmin. Lots of them around here.

  2. I’m a frequent victim of this corollary to Murphy’s law: If you politely stop to let someone go by, that’s the LAST THING they’ll do. I get hit with this in parking lots all the time: someone is going to pass in front of me, so I wait, but of course she/he finds something else to do, and so blocks me for a long time. A couple of times I’ve failed morally such that I move in front of the person. And stopped. Only about HALF the time will the person ask me what the heck I’m doing. “We’re just arbitrarily blocking each other, aren’t we? You started it.” I always hate myself when I succumb, but I always tell the story to my friends, who always laugh.

  3. Interesting. The parking lot definitely heats me up. However I drive a tall truck and have become an expert at making people move when they don’t necessarily want to. Inside the store is what drives me over the edge. Ever had some ignorant woman squirt out of an aisle and ram right into your side? Lady do you drive that way? I can deal with that. People at the meat counter push me over the edge. There’s 6 Tri Tips to choose from. It shouldn’t require 15 minutes to make a selection. WTF? Move you fat ass so I can grab one and go.

  4. Tri-tips? I go thru a bunch of them, and I’m a little picky on what I get. I’m kind of a chef-du-jour that way. I can understand being picky on those.

  5. Where you shopping? Safeway maybe, but not 15 minutes. This is no bull shit, I’ve left the meat counter and completed the rest of my shopping and the same zombie is still standing there. At that point I barge in.
    Your next trip down this way I’ll smoke a few Tri Tips. Pretty tasty.

  6. This didn’t start off as a bbq discussion, but tri tips are a great cut! Costco has “Prime” grade tri tips for $7.99 a pound. I’ve impressed the heck out of steak lovers at my house with them.

  7. I have learned to enter the parking lot at the far end and park where there are plenty of empty spaces. I go out of my way not to drive the lane that is right next to the store(s) unless I absolutely have to in order to enter or exit. I am able bodied, and I can walk it.

    What gets me is the people who do the wait for a close spot like Fur mentions when at a mall. They will wait and put others at an inconvenience for a gain of 20 feet. Then they will exit their car and walk a mile and a half around the mall!

  8. 4-lane road, 2 lanes in each direction. I get in left lane wanting to turn left into store parking lot. Dick in opposite left lane (not needing to turn left himself) stops to “politely” wave me across his 2 opposing lanes for me to make my left. Cars in his right lane are zipping across like fireflies. Right. This happened 4 times in last 2 years. This shit screams CC.

  9. @Plantsman,

    I’m currently working in north Hollywood for about 6 months. Been here about 2 months. What an eye-opener. I know exactly what you mean. Was just having this discussion with a roommate (who’s also from elsewhere), about drivers and how people are in grocery stores here.

  10. i am a frustrated driver. if people dont GTFO of my way in what i consider a reasonable time period (waiting for that car half a block away to drive by is not a reasonable excuse for not moving) I find a way around. Good thing my horn doesnt work.

    My buddies wife was rear ended yesterday while she was doing 35 down a major thouroughfare. Hit by a teenage girl doing over 50. Totaled her pt cruiser.

  11. @ PJ….I believe the tri-tip is part of the sirloin….It’s a good cut if you cook it hot and quick as there ain’t much fat in it….like skirt steak, flat iron and flank steak…..makes for some really good stir fry or indian type cooking….just don’t cook it long or it’s tough as a boot. You can avoid that by a good marinade, but it’s best off the grill or wok…

  12. @Brad….I’d like to try your version someday. Send me a recipe. As I’m typing this I got some try- tip juice in my facial hair. I do admit to being a ribeye snob, and a leg O’ lamb and pork shoulder and pork ribs and….I can’t wait to get up tomorrow and cook some meat kind of guy….70 degrees tomorrow, c’mon by….

  13. willy, best smoked meat is actually a pork butt. That’s 13 hours unless you use a Texas Kicker. Covered in mustard and your favorite rub. we make a meal out of just the meat smothered in Guacamole. Best served with Takillya. Dang, now I’m hungry.

  14. @ Brad….the Danes just came out with a 30 year study that suggests that a high fat diet fights cystic fibrosis….combine that with vodka tonics with lime and I’ve gotten rid of the malaria and scurvy threats….one disease at a time….red wine for me blood pressure. I’m soon gonna be immortal…

  15. Grocery store peeve and parking lot: the person who plants their cart/auto on one side of the aisle, (and not close to the edge) and lounge-lizardly looks for what is wanted on the other side! CLULESS, snowflakes, to any idea that they are NOT THE ONLY PEOPLE IN THE WORLD!

  16. I gave up parking near the stores long ago, My truck is max wide and the side door to the back is 3 feet out when open. Truck is safer there any how.
    Bugs me when they stop and just look at me in their mirror and to see if I’m upset about it. Then they might get the air horn if they keep it up. Most are driving a Preass or some kind of battery with wheels.

  17. I don’t park anywhere near the doors. The
    stoopid I do not have patience for.
    I’ve a HRT rescue tool in the backseat of
    my truck that I would probably put through
    somebody’s hood on some days.

  18. I’m like Meerkat and Reboot, I choose to park farther away. Nine times outta ten I have parked and walked into the store before that person Fur was waiting for has even left their car. I also try to avoid the lanes in front of the store to bypass (pun intended) the waddlers entering and exiting the store.

  19. I have a rant about people judging other people’s posts. I come here to post because there is more freedom and I like that. I post more here than I have ever posted at other forums because of this freedom. Please understand that you judgey judges of every written word, people sometimes post nasty things for stress relief. I know I do. Reading these posts makes me laugh and writing these posts makes me laugh. Reading others posts when they try to outgross each other is especially funny. Stress affects people in different ways, the way people handle stress is also different. If you don’t like a certain poster, please ignore them. When you see their name simply glide your eyes to the next post and read that one instead. Just please stop judging. Or, cast the first stone. I am a fantastic person, one of the best I know but I am not perfect. You may not be perfect too.

    Thanks for letting me say that, it’s been on my mind. Thanks to this site for letting me post, I do appreciate it.

  20. @/notmyrealname: But if people who didn’t like other posters just ignored them, then we wouldn’t have any flame wars, and those are the most fun to read of all.


  21. I park where there are no other cars and walk the extra 45 seconds vs. waiting 3 minutes to get a closer parking spot. If I park next to a car, some moron hits my car with their door. The newer my car, the more likely someone hits it.

  22. Sometimes my road is muddy as hell. Sometimes FedEx and UPS trucks get stuck. Sometimes it’s dusty. I can ride one of my 8 big bore ATVs, or snowmobiles, anywhere as fast as I want without a helmet. Zero traffic. Love it! This rural grandpa is going to be one crazy MF until the end. Just saw an article on Drudge about the overcrowded subways in NY. How the fuck is that even living? Like loading cattle in cattle pots.

  23. I taught fitness classes for years in many different places in this country. Everywhere I taught there was plenty of parking and yet a lot of the students would fight for a spot close to the door so they could come in and work out for an hour or more. I never understood that. It’s like taking an elevator to go to a step class!

  24. Still waiting for the auto makers to offer RPG’s as an option. Like the old public service add advised us “drive defensively, but always be ready to go on the offensive” just paraphrasing don’t recall the exact quote.

  25. My peeve is asswipes on the interstate who won’t get off cruise control.
    I always drive in the left lane unless a car comes up behind me and I get over to let them pass. But they are on cruise control at exactly one MPH faster than me. So I invariably have to slow down because I come up to the back of a semi and get behind them and have to wait six weeks as they pass the truck. Then they take their sweet ass time getting over.
    That and Dickweeds who like to drive in other people’s blind spot.
    AND Indians (Reservation Indians) who tailgate you at 65 and when you slow down to make them pass, they become happy to tailgait at 45.

    I think there should have a paintball gun mounted to the top of cars (for 360 degree aiming) and cars with lots of paint ball impacts get pulled over and ticketed on general principles

  26. Fur, that scenario would anger me, but my philosophy is “Why let some stranger ruin my day over ten minutes of frustration?” I don’t know, God could take me at any time He chooses and I’d hate to be in the middle of a fuming rant over a parking space — sort of like your example, above. 🙂

    An aside: I’ve parked in the same area at Costco for decades and have nearly always found a space within a few minutes, no matter what time of day or day of the week.

    BB/All — Check out Cash & Carry for tri-tip. Geoff C. picked up a whole tenderloin there this past week for a great price. Great place if you need to feed a crowd or if you have a vacuum pack machine (for freezing).

  27. Believe it or not, I actually curse like a sailor in parking lots.

    No matter where I park, or however far from the store, somebody boxes me in.

    One night on a cross-country trip I stopped at a rest-stop to catch a couple of winks. I parked about 300 ft. from the rest-stop proper – no other cars in the parking area. About 1:00 AM a car full of screaming brats parks RIGHT NEXT to me! Only 2 cars in the lot, and the jerkwad has to park right next to me with his screaming brats, barking dog, and fat-assed whining wife.

    Nothing to do but hit the road again, being perfectly awake.

    izlamo delenda est …

  28. My biggest peev is people that just stroll out in front of you without looking. If you ever go to Australia, don’t try it, we’re taught to give way to big metal things when on foot.
    BTW tri tip is the bottom of a whole rump in Aussie butcher speak.

  29. This is why I always head for the back of the lot. Never, ever drive anywhere near the entrances to the stores. I will go around the block and through another light to ensure I enter the lot well away from the entrances.

    The people who jockey for the closest spot to the entrance are always the FATTEST and the DUMBEST. I park at the end of the lot and can exit my vehicle and walk past them while they’re still tangled in their seat belt while pouring the last of 3 day old Big Gulp directly where they’re going to need to step out of their car.

    FAT and DUMB! Actually, I think I just hate everyone. But I really hate the FAT and DUMB people.

  30. It’s just selfishness. Thinking only about what benefits them and not what affects others.

    As a side note, I hate when people park in the fire lane. Lazy tards.

  31. this is a true story – not a parking lot, but a gas station….there’s already a car behind me, waiting to take their turn, and this idiot pulls up IN FRONT of me, face to face….took her a couple minutes to realize i wasn’t able to move…..some people are just amazing….

    but then, i remember that time i freaked out, wondering where i left my car keys…..while i was driving down the road… my car…..with the keys…..and all……just amazing….. 🙂

  32. @Buck Turgidson: You noticed that “new car in the parking lot” phenomenon too, huh? The last time I bought I new car (about 20 years ago) I was paranoid about door dings, so I would park my car way, way off in the parking lot where there were no other cars around and walk about a half a block to the store. Invariably, when I came out of the store there would be a car parked next to mine. Now WTF is up with that?!


  33. We need a part just for smoked meats got muy green mountain pellet grill i don’t know if i Have turned it off yet beats the shit or pod the 50 gallon drum I made before it. And to the op I live right outside dc of you think you have some privileged libs near you come for 20 minutes here. You’ll have a whole new hatred

  34. Matty,
    The first month I got my smoker that’s all we had was smoked meat. The family finally went on strike. I had to scale it back to about 5 days out of the month.

  35. I love it got 1 way the shop and 1 at home if any of you are thinking pellet look into green mountain great guys great product and of course all USA easiest smoking ever

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