New Year’s Resolutions

Okay guys and gals.

What are this year’s resolutions? (And, have you ever had success with one?)

54 Comments on New Year’s Resolutions

  1. Try to ignore as much SJW, Regressive, leftist BS as possible.

    Other than that sit back and enjoy life as life is too short to be a miserable SJW, regressive leftist.




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  2. For the 8 years of obama I had a built in e cause for drinking. Now that President Trump is doing everything he can to MAGA I’m going to take better care of myself so I can enjoy the success. I also want to see liberals go crazy.




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  3. ** Do my very best to wake up each morning.

    Thus far a 100% success rate, I’m hopeful 2018 will be as successful. The bar is set higher as each year passes.




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  4. I changing my two drinks per day limit to two bottles per day. At my age, it’s high time I stopped imbibing like a total pussy.




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  5. I saw on Face Book where someone was going to open a GYM named RESOLUTION and after being open for just two weeks all the exercise equipment vanishes and it turns into a BAR!




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  6. I only made one resolution that I ever kept: many years ago I resolved not to make any more New Year’s resolutions. I have not broken it in all these years. Yay, me!
    Happy New Year, friends!




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  7. Now that I’m old and retired, I resolve to;
    Eat when hungry, sleep when tired, drink any dang thing I want when thirsty, and the best one…..Let one rip even if it’s in isle 3 near the pasta section. I mean a real paint stripper.




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  8. I have only one resolution this year, and that’s to keep every resolution that I make.
    Shouldn’t be too hard.

    @Holy Chris..:you and me both, pal.
    Molon Labe!




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  9. I resolve to eat more bacon and drink more booze. Good start today already…5 slices bacon for brunch…no need for anything else.

    I started on the booze day before yesterday. I renewed my former appreciation for dirty vodka martinis.




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  10. 1. Commit to self promotion to gain new clients-send out things and keep all professional websites current. This will be tough. I’ve tried and failed in other years.

    2. To get through the year without yet another random rare health crisis. I’m tired of being “fascinating” to doctors. I’d like to be boring this year. So, did I just jinx myself? 😳




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  11. I think you’d have to go a long, long way and still not find a better group of people on the internets than are assembled here at IOTWReport. From the fuzzy-hatted BFH, MJA, Dr. Tar, Claudia, “The Esteemed” Mr. Pinko, Irony Curtain, and last but never least, Illustr8r, and every single one of its readers/commenters (and we all know who we are), I don’t believe it would be insulting to say this is the 4077 M*A*S*H of blogs. On the surface there’s a whole lotta mischief, semantic jokers, thinly-veiled innuendo of all stripes (but mostly sexual), and enough profanity to attract smut ads. But in the larger society where virtuousness is more usually superficial, it is among this group you find it is the bedrock under this fast-flowing stream of rowdy consciousness.

    PA: Attention all personnel. Tonight’s film has been cancelled so that we can bring you a Happy New Year. That is all.

    I can’t think of a single NY’s resolution I’ve kept for more than three days. There’s always too much great food left over from Christmas to stay on a diet.




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  12. The good news is that Abigail A. sounds healthy enough to take on the whole phucken Liber/Progs in 2018. It’s going to be a humdinger. MAGA




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  13. I wish I were a kinder person, less confrontational- the sort who could roll with the punches and not make waves.

    But, no.

    I’m surrounded by tedious libtards, and take a certain satisfaction watching their heads explode. I look forward to these episodes becoming more frequent in the coming year.
    Works for me.




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  14. My resolution is the same as it is every year: make someone laugh, chuckle or just smile every day.




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  15. Downsize, gain strength, gain endurance, expand my meatspace Tribe, improve the armory, build a fallout shelter, don’t die, adopt ten good ideas, memorize the entire Constitution, don’t ever be nice to a suspected commie, donate any money to anti-communists on the front line, master magnum handgun shooting, improve my home and move to a more isolated location with a range. Lastly, don’t do anything that imperils my soul.

    It’s a tiny list.




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  16. Moe Tom — You bretcha! It’s really something to look forward to.

    Wyatt — That’s the best resolution I know. It’s free and very easy to do. Sight gags are the best.

    (I once walked into a very uptight business meeting dragging about six feet of TP stuck to my shoe (on purpose). How can people be unpleasant when they’re laughing?, I say.)




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  17. Last year I resolved to lose weight. 26 pounds later, I’m back down to 180. This year, I resolve not to gain it back.




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  18. To try to shake off some of the cynicism that became second nature to me during the 0bama years. Thank God President Trump stepped up to fill the huge leadership gap we had in this country, and thank God for all the people who voted for him and continue to stand behind him.




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  19. AA, I did similar once. but inadvertently. I’m sure God was teaching me not to be so proud. Going to a social function from DH’s place of employment, dressed perfectly with the coolest of sequined ho pumps, I walked into the venue with Kleenex and gum stuck to the heel of my shoe. Must have been left on the car floor by one of the kids. The Almighty took my pride down a notch that evening.

    You are terrific and funny. I wish we were friends in person.




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  20. The same resolution I’ve head since 1994, when I saw “Pulp Fiction:

    To try real HARD .. to be the shepherd




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