RANT- Commercial Makers, For the Love of Pete, STOP DOING THIS

There is a device that commercial makers, both radio and television, use that is so played out I’m about to ascend a clock tower and, I dunno, spit on people? Drop pennies?

In the commercial, Person A is an idiot, it’s usually a husband or a coworker.

Person A does or says something stupid.

Person B, usually a sassy wife or a co-worker, looks at Person A with mouth open and unblinking eyes, and they… talk… in… halted… units… as .. they… walk … away.. like … Person A…. needs… a …. tranquilizer… dart.

Not funny anymore.

It’s used in nearly every commercial, to the point of me taking a mental… note… and… considering… boycotting… the… product.

 

41 Comments on RANT- Commercial Makers, For the Love of Pete, STOP DOING THIS

  1. Person A is usually a white male. Person(s) B is or often are people of color, who are portayed as the only “sane” participants. But what really ticks me off is the OBSURDITY of the pratfalls. This was old 30 years ago. They’re still replaying “Animal House”

  2. Usually a husband, but always a man.

    I haven’t bought Woodbridge wine since about1998, when they touted some snazzy new wine box with two women chatting about it:

    “So simple easy to use!”

    “Yeah, no way a man designed it!”

    To be fair, I never bought Woodbridge wine before that either. Two buck chuck for marinades is all the wine I need.

  3. We need a good thread on Obnoxious Commercials That Are Really Leftist Social Engineering.

    Every commercial I see is an open attack on white males, two parent families, anyone over 40, anyone not living in Hip NYC or Cool LA, and the very idea of informed and educated Citizens and Consumers.

  4. Thirdtwin,
    When I drink wine, I don’t comment on the shape of the glass, bottle or box. Crappy wine can still be found in beautiful containers, and cheap wine can still be great.

    All Hail Two-Buck Chuck! you pretentious wine snobs

  5. I’m still trying to work out what “4 times less” is. Pisses me off no end.
    BTW if anyone can enlighten me I’d be appreciative. The most literal meaning is -400% which cant be true.

  6. @wizzum
    “4 times less” is a stupid moron in charge of a marketing campaign that never understood math past the third grade, who is being encouraged by one who never understood it past fourth grade math.
    Believe me. I deal with them daily at a fortune 100 company.
    Our corporate slogan should be “We Make Money In Spite Of Ourselves!”.

  7. Insurance commercial: Ceiling leak causes a mess, with husband and wife looking at it.
    Husband: I can fix that.

    Wife: Sarcastic laugh, gives haughty look to husband, says “No.”

    Next Scene: Workman painting repaired hole caused by leak, with husband looking on:

    Husband: I totally could have…

    Wife interrupting: NO!

    Pisses me off to no end.

  8. It’s been going on for decades. Sesame Street: Dumb white guy, smart black guy: “Life of Reilly” poor Reilly couldn’t pour piss out of a boot; “Father Knows Best” He didn’t know shit from shinola. The wife and kids were smarter. No more kid commercials with real kids with freckles, red hair, missing teeth and a big smile, just robots of a variety of shades and ethnicity; girlymen cooking in a kitchen, not burning steaks while drunk at a Bar B
    Q.: Wise, handsome black couple advising frustrated white couple about Life Insurance. On and On. Ah the good old days when doctors smoked Chesterfield and Nurses smokes Virginia Slims.

  9. I am about to take a shotgun to my teevee if I see that stupid Allstate commercial “women drivers are better then men”. That thing has been running for about 10 years. I wouldn’t use Allstate if my life depended on it.

  10. BFH – just stop watching it. Find a hobby, like art or something….
    Honestly, just stop. You will go through withdrawal for about a week or so, but then you will lose all desire to watch that crap. I did it and I still wonder how I could sit there and watch that crap for as long as I did. My wife is still hooked. I can walk right by her while she is watching that nonsense and just chuckle. It really pisses her off, but she doesn’t understand.

  11. @Moxie, yepper, I never watch commercials, they even have something called the Hopper, if you recorded it, automatically jumps over the swag show.
    I love my DVR.

  12. If i won the lottery….i’d set up a track with TV’s.

    Taking my shotgun I’d blast an obnoxious commercial….then have another TV ready to go, until….

  13. You can’t watch TV without seeing a commercial containing a black, or mixed race couple.
    Usually a black man and white woman.

    You can’t watch without seeing or hearing about a bowel movement, and it’s descriptors, hard, dark stool, etc.
    “Enjoy the go?” Fuck you Charmin!
    I don’t want to hear about someone else taking a shit!

    Then you have the Viagra commercials with some over 40 smug cunt telling their man to swallow a pill and grow a cock!
    Fuck you too!
    Of course these are all fit women who haven’t gained a hundred pounds after twenty years of marriage.
    Can’t blame a dude for needing a pill then…

  14. Along the way someone figured out that it was the females doing most of the shopping so that is who it it aimed at. I hate it. Don’t watch regular TV much… Netflix. Last Kingdom! Utred son of Utred!!!

  15. Chiming in. TV-free for 4+ years. Resolution to not fill my head with it. Also meant no more news (that was a little rough). Saves big bucks and I no longer shout at a box in my living room. Law & Order, Forensic Files, etc. reruns for me on the Netflix and the Hulu.

  16. TV sucks. It’s like they have totally run out of anything original to do. Which would explain why they’re bringing back The Rosanne Bar show with it’s original cast and that old soap opera Dynasty. Dynasty will be complete with Gay love scenes. Just what I want to watch on TV a couple men in a lip lock.

  17. Sorry folks, but all the baby boomers are getting old. Fast cars, loose women, loud music, good booze and cigarettes are in the past; it’s all about being regular, getting it up again, hiding the gray, and curing the things that are falling apart due to our misspent youth. We can bitch about companies marketing to our particular demographic all we want, but there are plenty of folks thinking “yeah, probiotics and viagra – a couple of things for a couple of things that have been bothering me.”

    As far as the quality of commercials, blame the SJWs. The only politically correct foil is a white male; if you want some humor, the white male is the only acceptable butt of the joke. There is a lot of commercial humor that gets canned because someone other than white males will be offended, and advertisers don’t want commercials pissing off customers. I’m actually o.k. with that because I don’t identify as a victim and I can take it – I’ll leave victimhood for the aggrieved grumblers.

  18. We are cord cutters. Hulu, Netflix and PlayStation Vue for local and broadcast TV like HGtv and Fox News. My only complaint is wonky interfaces and the friggin teeny AppleTV remote.

    I hate the commercials that are supposed to be funny but aren’t. They are just random things put together that millennial must think are funny. Like that cartoon,”Archer,” I’ll never see the humor in it.

  19. I watch 3 things on the tee vee-
    The Mets
    Forensic Files
    Impractical Jokers.

    I mostly HEAR these stupid commercials on Spotify, or see them on Youtube.

  20. I like watching old westerns. GetTv has a bunch of the old series on. Was watching episode 3 Cimeron City, 1958. Plot is some out of towner is trying to run for mayor. His campaign slogan “An Honest Progressive”. I was blown away.

  21. There’s only one commercial on tee vee that makes me laugh — I think it’s for a rental car company. The guy who is being fitted for a leisure suit was the first one and now he’s operating on himself (appendix). I like to laugh. Otherwise, I don’t watch commercials (mute button).

  22. Bad Brad. Just watched a wonderful movie this morning before I went to work. “Taking Chance” with Kevin Beacon. Damn! brought tears to my eyes, again. 4th viewing. Beats watching “the News.” Real people.

  23. Tommy, I’ve never seen that one. I’ll look for it. I’ve determined one of my many problems is I grew up watching those old westerns that clearly portraid right and wrong. phucked me up.

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