Rant Time

One of our readers is really bothered by a particular commercial, and this is why it’s great to have a forum like this, so we can perhaps offer the cathartic experience required that can get someone through these troubling times.  (I’m not making fun. I completely understand the rant. There have been commercials that caused me to fling socks at the screen.) ((Before flat screens it would be sneakers.))

“Speaking of snowflakes, does the Liberty Mutual commercial with the little faggots with a flat tire bother anybody but me? ” – Bad Brad

Anyone needing a place to vent about commercials they can’t stand, now’s your chance.

75 Comments on Rant Time

  1. All the Liberty Insurance commercials are insulting! One insured is surprised when her rates go up after she crash her car into a tree. Another annoying ad is the ugly red-headed perfect mom and kids clinging to her contrasted with a normal active family at the service station.
    Go to commercialihate.com

  2. Bad Brad, Hell Yeah !!! I’ve been teaching my teenage son to drive and this commercial pisses me off !!! every time. And, yes, I’ve taught him how to change a tire. Believe it or not it was also something taught years ago to CUB SCOUTS ( I kid you not).

  3. This commercial is Thuper gay, and i’m sick of it as well.
    However it’s not my least favorite.
    Worst 3
    1: My Pillow -” I don’t have your Pillow, so leave my house now”.
    2: The Old woman with the Copper Pots – “I’m not your Grandson, so get out and leave the Pans”.
    3: Allstate with the black lady in front of the Statue of Liberty, “Don’t take that tone with Me bitch” !

  4. What the Liberty Mutual commercials say to me: “I’m too stupid to ask the right questions up front and too lazy to read what is actually covered, and if I whine long and hard, and threaten businesses on FB….”

    I don’t watch a lot of commercials because there’s this handy thing called a mute button.

    I do love the commercials for a rental car company with the deep-voiced guy who takes out his own appendix. I like funny commercials, but I never remember the product/service. Except there was one Taco Bell commercial back in the ’90’s with a red-headed guy dancing around with a frying pan. Hilarious.

  5. LOL. Back when I was a teen, he is what we called, “a weak bitch”.

    Oh btw, most black people don’t dance when they go into a McDonalds, I’ve never met a man who allowed his kids talk to him like he’s retarded, and for damn sure, brunettes can’t go from black to blonde in 1 step. Ugh. People on TV bug me bad.

  6. Before my dad ever let me get behind the wheel, I had to show him I could change a tire, check the oil and add some if needed, check the battery level ditto, and explain what happens when you turn the ignition switch, and when you shift gears.

    He kept the brake work to himself!

  7. I hate all commercials, I even wrote a song about it. To me, commercials are eye and ear rape. Always 20 decibels higher than the regular programming and like watching a strobe light on crack. Pushing Social agendas and other oddities instead of the product. Why can’t we have a nice quiet person standing on a stage and gently say “ buy this product, it’s good” the end 5 seconds done sold thank you.

  8. I could go on, but according to some association of nagging doctors, I am due for blindness, a chopped toe, kidney failure and a stroke is sneaking up on my ass. Thanks. And fuck off.

  9. I’m not surprised this came from Liberty Mutual. Haven’t seen this one because I’ve been without a TV since before I moved home. But I still might have not seen it because whenever one of their ads came on TV, I’d change the channel. That’s because it irked me that all their stories were about baby snowflakes whining about their auto insurance not erasing all the bad stuff that happens in their lives.

    Who in their right mind would think that auto insurance covers you to replace what you lost during a wreck at 100%? Talk about living in fantasy land.

    Baby snowflakes. I wish I had a better description of these people. Juvenile adults. Fools.

  10. Any McDonald’s commercial for as long as I can remember. Changing tires. No problem. But nowadays,where the hell do you put the jack without screwing up the unibody constructed cars. Trucks for me.

  11. The one that drives me crazy is the smug-ass punk on the park bench that said:
    “They said ‘You picked the wrong policy’ No I picked the wrong company.”
    First, the term ‘wrong policy’ implies that there is a correct policy that would satisfy this customer’s need, only he didn’t want it. I hate this guy
    It is times like these I wish I had my one superpower:
    I kick an old yellow or brown kickball into my TV, and whoever is on TV gets it right in the Peach.
    The ball materializes about two feet from their face.
    This guy would be the first in a long, comprehensive, organized List.

  12. Liberty Mutual suxs a big one.
    Right up there with the two obnoxous pricks from Sonic.

    A stupid commercial is more apt to make me not buy their product.

  13. Rarely do I watch commercials, but I do think those Farmers Insurance commercials are funny for all those things they’ve “supposedly” covered.

    As to snowflake kids I heard a grandfather and father telling a story about the father sending his 17 year old son to the store to buy a jack and he came home with a hitch. Father thought it was funny, grandfather thought grandson was a dumbass and it was his son’s fault and he was ashamed of them both.

  14. MOST COMMERCIALS HAVE SIMILAR THEMES

    MEN:
    Wimps
    Beta-males
    Nerds
    Hipsters
    Hen-pecked men
    Indecisive men
    Slobs
    Fats
    Lazy

    *Look at that one micro-brew commercial of some dork who can’t make up his mind, like he’s ordering a specialty at Starbucks.

    *The Old Spice commercials have MANLY MEN who have muscles, and like to look good, smell good. An actual role model for men.

    WOMEN:
    Business women
    Leaders
    Managers
    Supervisors
    Knowledgeable advisors helping stupid people to make up their minds
    Confident spokes models for products

    You didn’t realize you were being brainwashed did you?

  15. I’m particularly fond of the ads for medications that are now evenly interspersed with ambulance chasing lawyers.

    But the bit about “you should not take GOBONEYA If you are allergic to it or any of its ingredients. Excuse me, but the ingredients are closely guarded proprietary secrets. How would I know what the damned ingredients are?

    Here’s another one. Prevagen. Supposed to improve memory with an ingredient originally found in Jellyfish.
    Everyone knows that jellyfish never forget. Even though they don’t have brains.

  16. Bad Brad better sign up and get an avatar for his posts. He’s being featured now, he should have one.

    Go here: https://en.gravatar.com/

    Then when you’ve signed up, and added a picture, just come here, put your user name and email address at the bottom, you used to sign up at Gravatar, and this site will automatically post your comment, name, and picture.

  17. What’s a lug wrench?
    So, I’m supposed to go with an insurance company which wastes resources on idiots who don’t know how to change a tire.
    Oh, by the way, car manufacturers are now selling cars wit an inflater/sealant dispenser and no spare tire. They claim weight and fuel economy. That is idiotic reasoning as a spare tire and jack aren’t that heavy. The funny temporary spare is bad enough. Whenever I see someone driving around with one of those mismatched size temporary spare tires (especially if on the front), I stay clear as that car is not stable.
    Oh, by the way, I can hardly wait to see one of those bros’ with his 30” wheels trying to get around with one of those smaller temporary spare tires.

  18. I have some videos of dinosaur TV commercials from the late 40s through the 60s.
    One of my favorites was for something called “Juvenol”.
    It was some kind of tonic for sluggish,dim-witted kids.
    A couple of teaspoons full and these barely functioning ,juvenile blobs would be chock full of athletic energy and brain power.
    “And it tastes like lollipops!”

  19. Could my kids change a tire? Probably, but they were instructed not to. They grew up in SoCal, and a flat was likely to occur on the freeway or a busy super street. I didn’t want them fooling around with a jack, tire iron and spare with traffic around them, so they were instructed to call AAA.

    Perhaps not manly, but infinitely safer.

  20. I keep Fox Business on most of the day. They keep the crawler going during the multitudinous commercials for precious metals, which show precious metals shitting the bed. Really funny stuff.

  21. There is a new HIV medication commercial out where all the actors are stereotypical fags and the narrator talks with a lisp.

    Just die already.

  22. I had white smoke come out of my car on the 405, so either they’ve just elected a new pope, or my radiator ist kaput. Waited an hour for the tow truck my insurance company called; apparently they didn’t know the difference between Northbound 405 after the 10 exit and Southbound 405 after the 10 exit. Should of happened on Hwy 404.

  23. Look. My original point was not that women or really anybody should be able to change a tire. And the location may not be safe for tire changing. But that commercial doesn’t depict a take charge male. The dude called mommy, not the tow service.

  24. ““You named your car Brad. You loved Brad”.

    Yea, the fucking worst. My wife now laughs every time it comes on because she knows I’m beyond saturated.

  25. Also on Fox Business, the fat pigs in their underwear shouting that they are not angels and basically trying to get other non angelic slobs to buy their undies from Lane Bryant. In our local mall, they even have a big blown up image of one of the slobs in the window of the fat slob Lane Bryant store.

  26. In most states, the auto insurance industry is heavily regulated so most of the products and premium rates are pretty much the same. Some companies cater to higher risk drivers which generate higher premiums, and other companies offer some sort of roadside assistance, but the primary insurance products are regulated and fairly uniform.

    Because of this, insurance commercials impart virtually no information about their products and the primary goal of the commercial is to entertain and get people to remember the company. A lot of people may hate the Progressive commercials, but apparently Flo makes the phone ring. The same goes for Allstate with its “Mayhem” spots, Farmers with J.K. Simmons and Geico for its various commercials. But the products are the same.

  27. PHenry–My very first car that I bought was a 260Z and it was British racing green. I was a young 1LT Army Nurse and I named it Patrick Nakamura. I had that car for 10 years, I got married, had a baby, and still drove it. Hated to sell it.

  28. The commercial that tics me is the one with the smarmy not-so-cutesy black female insurance agent not-explaining to the stoopid overweight balding male home owner that, no, his homeowner’s insurance doesn’t cover breakdown of his appliances, but it does cover a zombie apocalypse.

  29. PHenry-
    First car was a 1960 2 door Falcon station wagon, with the ‘Roy Rogers’ interior. It came from a Naval Air base, and it was white with red ‘X’s on the roof, hood, sides, everywhere. Might have been a service vehicle, or maybe a target.
    Named it “Mother Maybelle, flower of the East, Prairie Schooner and Cosmic Traveler.’
    That was years ago, but I still have 2 named cars today.

  30. If I had to name my 91 Honda Civic AWD little SUV I’d name it Fenry just because. and I always wanted my late wife to name her Jeep Wrangler Eugene, she didn’t get it. Most commercials suck, Flo annoys the heck out of me, the only thing worse than the current Flo character would be Fran Drescher playing Flo with her nasal NY accent.

  31. We just play “Black, Old, Gay” when changing the channels. Everything will fit neatly into one of those three categories.

    All families are gay or interracial. 99% of the time, the interracial couple is black man-white woman.

    If it is a commercial with a traditional nuclear family, it will be a black one so wholesome that The Huxtables would look like ghetto street thugs by comparison.

    If it is a white couple, the husband will be a certifiable fucking moron who can’t wipe his own ass and the wife will be a rocket scientist who, for some reason, takes pity on the slower creatures of the animal kingdom.

    If you take this cheat sheet with you, you can make a fortune on Madison Avenue.

  32. People who cast commercials firmly believe that all women STILL sit around the house all day trying to decide when to finish their coffee and begin their housework. It seems that more women work than don’t these days (yeah, housework’s work; don’t get me started on semantics!)

  33. I’m going to share a therapeutic little game I play that makes me look forward to offensive commercials. You need 2 things… a handy MUTE button and an UNLOADED weapon of your choice (I like a revolver).

    On your mark… MUTE
    Get set… draw weapon
    Go… Dry Fire at the screen until it goes away!

    My record is 28 imaginary shots fired at that My Pillow fucker (probably a very nice man with an overly aggressive marketing strategy). It’s a very long commercial and BTW… HOW DOES HE MAKE ANY MONEY selling PILLOWS with such a relentless advertising campaign?!?! Every hour, every day, every channel… IT’S A CONSPIRACY, I tell you! 😜

  34. ……if MY kid wasting my accident forgiveness on “an incredibly minor” accident……well……….

    but the nice black man in the car whose family are all plugged into headphones….he makes me laugh…… 🙂

  35. Remember when people used to throw rubber bricks at their TV’s when Howard Cosell used to come on ABC sports programs and Monday Night Football. Except for the guy who threw an actual brick at his TV when Howard came on shattering the TV. I’m sure he wasn’t the only one.

  36. Most commercials depict on an ascending scale….white men as whimp dumb a$$es, white women, black men, then black females as the Albert Einsteins of the group….offend me with one of theses commercials and I boycott your arse.

    I do like Allstate’s “Mayhem” guy…..I get a good laugh out of his antics.

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