Reasons I can’t go Trick or Treating anymore

old peeps

10. You get winded from knocking on the door.

9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.

8. You ask for high fiber candy only.

7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.

6. People say, “What a scary mask!” but you’re not wearing a mask!

5. When the door opens you yell, “Trick or…” and can’t remember the rest.

4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.

3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won’t dislodge your hairpiece.

2. You’re the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.

and last but not least…

1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.

h/t JackH.

12 Comments on Reasons I can’t go Trick or Treating anymore

  1. Lol, Can’t remember if I ever told you this but I e mail a few readers here and even before you became a contributor we ran a poll on who here we would like to share a drink with. You won hands down. Good luck with those socks. Lol

  2. The only holiday I like anymore is Thanksgiving. I’m such a grump! Halloween has become so over the top. Adults ruined it-there are extra DUI patrols for it now! The world is scary enough now to willingly go to haunted houses to be frightened by ax murderers and executioners.

    /rant off. 🙂

  3. We had a hard-core half dozen Trick or Treaters brave the monsoon last night. It rained pitchforks and naked babies from 2:00 on, but we still had a few come by despite the downpour.

    I was trying to convince my wife to make me up as one of the walking dead but she was worried I’d terrify the neighborhood kids…which of course would have been the object of the exercise….

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