When You’re Wrong… For All the World To See

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30 Comments on When You’re Wrong… For All the World To See

  1. THEY’RE EVERYWHERE

    WHEN A US NAVY SHIP CROSSES THE EQUATOR, THERE IS A CEREMONY TO TURN THOSE WHO HAVE NEVER BEEN ACROSS (POLLYWOGS) INTO SHELLBACKS

    IN PREPARATION FOR THE CEREMONY, A YOUNG NEW SAILOR WOULD BE POSTED ON THE BOW WITH A LONG POLE WITH A HOOK AT THE END WITH THE INSTRUCTIONS TO SPOT THE EQUATOR, HOOK IT, PULL IT UP AND WORK IT OVER THE ENTIRE SHIP SO THAT THE SHIP DOESN’T GET THE EQUATOR HUNG UP IN THE PROPELLERS….I SHIT YOU NOT, THERE WAS ALWAYS THST ONE POOR KID WHO TOOK THAT JOB VERY SERIOUSLY

    20
  2. On the back of Sargento’s Asiago Cheese package it lists calories:
    1 slice = 50 Calories
    2 slices = 110 Calories

    Seriously!
    You pay a caloric premium for that second slice!

    20
  3. I watched one of those “Man on the street” things the other day and the guy with the mic was asking people, What is carbon dioxide and is it bad? Virtually nobody knew what it was or how it’s created but they all considered it bad. Then the guy with the mic informed them it was necessary for trees and plants. The most common reaction was shock and or blank expressions.

    21
  4. Benito, I’m a Shellback, March of 1974 we crossed the Equator on our way to Mombasa, Kenya. I’d never heard that one before. One of the biggest jokes in the Navy was the Navy taking your birthday away, it’s possible when you cross the International Date Line, I had a friend whose birthday was when we crossed the dateline and it already was the next day, I could never figure that out.

    7
  5. I miss the Penn & Teller “B******t” show – particularly when they pulled pranks like getting folks to sign a petition banning dihydrogen oxide because it was in lakes streams, and even in your house – and it could kill you.

    14
  6. 1. All the cows are girl named because girl cows give milk.
    2. You aren’t consuming the cows, only their milk.

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  7. Speaking of strange things…

    I swear I was adopted because all my brothers had a sister and I didn’t. 🤪

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  8. One of the first things the Left does (education, media, entertainment, gov’t) is disabuse the idea that there is an absolute (truth, fact) about anything. It’s part of the process of brain washing.

    I’m working on a little project comparing Jonestown/Jim Jones to our current Leftist-run society. A bridge too far? Nope. Jones went to Guyana to run a communist commune. Those people — the ones who actually did kill their children and themselves — didn’t commit suicide because of religious fanaticism, but because Jones had convinced them that “good socialists and communists” (direct quote) would rather die, righteous in their communist zeal, than to give up their lives to those who oppose them.

    The stupidity showcased above is really more scary than funny.

    13
  9. We have a 45 year-old family member who couldn’t understand why it took two hours to fly from Florida to Colorado but four hours to fly the other way. We had to explain time zones to her. 😳

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  10. Benito,
    Don’t forget sending a young sailor to the engine room for relative bearing grease or red/green oil for the nav lights…

    Ah what fun in the old navy!

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  11. Benito, geoff the aardvark, Tired Chief;

    In the Air Cav we sent the newbie for 5 gallons of rotor wash and 100 feet of flight-line.

    There were actually guys who would go to Tech Supply and request the items!

    4
  12. As a prank some of my fighter squadrons Officers sent a newbie whose nickname was Radar, one of our tweets who who were the guys who worked on the planes avionics and electronic equipment to the Supply dept. to get the key to start one of our F-4 Phantoms. I’ve also heard of newbies being sent out to get 5 gallons of prop wash, 50 yards of chow line and even to get some waterline. The ultimate prank was the old sea bat trick where a bunch of guys would stand around a crate trying to get a newbie Officer to see what was under the crate and when he bent over to look would kick him in the ass. The CO of the ship while not actually condoning it thought that the new guy deserved it for being so gullible. And then there was the time one of our guys on the crud crew who painted our planes painted a couple of our squadron mascot Aardvarks mating on the tail of plane, one of our Officers saw it and laughed and told them to take it off before the CO could see it.

    2
  13. Some years ago we had a couple you employees grab our forklift to grab a delivery off a flat bed on the street. The driver parked in the middle of the street as they had to unload off both sides. Eventually they backed the forklift up a little to far and got the rear wheels stuck in some mud. So I’m watching this from my office and the next thing I witness is them slinging a chain over the top of the roll cage and attaching it to the rear of the forklift and on the other end to the forks. The driver tries to drop the forks there by taking all the wait off the back end of the fork lift and allowing them to drive out. After my foreman and I watched this for about ten minutes with tears running down our cheeks I finally ad him go down there and ask them how far they were trying to stretch that chain anyway. The best part was when the foreman got down there he discovered the truck driver hiding on the opposite side of the truck damn near hyperventilating he was laughing so hard.

    5
  14. The next time my school district starts begging for more money, my response again will be GFY.
    I’m pissed that I am sinking money into public school, and judging by those tweets, I am not seeing any return on my investments.

    3
  15. President Elect Toxic Deplorable Racist SAH Neanderthal B Woodman Domestic Violent Extremist SuperStraight

    As commo, we would send newbs to get “frequency grease” or “squelch grease”. Since this was Back-In-The-Day of teletypes (TTY) and punched paper strips, we would tell a newb that there were two messages that came in, one high security Secret, and the other open, not secret. Unfortunately, the chad (paper punch-out dots) from the two messages got combined together. It was his job to separate the secure chad from the non-secure chad, so that the secure chad could be properly disposed of. Can’t let the enemy have our Secret info!

    And for motor pool maintenance, there was “muffler bearings”.
    Fun times!

    And…..for the icing on the cake…..there was an NCO who was in charge of moving a bunch of CONEXs around the Motor Pool. As a joke, he told a newb Private to go get a Sky Hook to help move the CONEXs. Sooooo…..Pvt Joe Snuffy runs to the nearby airstrip, talks to the Flight OOD (Officer of the Day), tells him what his Sgt wanted. Next thing everyone knows, here’s a Helicopter landing in the Motor Pool, & the pilot wants to know who ordered up the chopper? Last I ever heard, the Sgt got busted down one stripe, & had to pay for the helo’s fuel. That one still brings a smile to my face every time I think of it.

    4
  16. Snowchains for the tracked vehicles, IR fluid for the infrared headlights, chem light batteries, muffler bearings, checking for soft spot in the armor with chalk and a ball peen hammer (x marks the spots!), locating and replacing grid lines during land nav, getting a PRC E8(E8 being the First Sergeant, PRC as in prick) to fix the PRC-77 radio, board stretcher for miscut lumber, adjustable hammers… so much fun. We didn’t eat pudding or whipped cream off some dude dressed as king Neptune, left that to the Navy. “It’s not gay when you’re underway” is what they told me.

    3
  17. Been there, done that during my Shellback initiation. At least now the Navy has women with real boobs as opposed to the guys who had coconut boobs back then. Except now it would probably be a tranny especially on the USS Harvey Milk. I really intensely dislike the new politically correct Navy and its current shithead CNO.

    1
  18. I HAFTA get my news from IOTW.

    Nobody else is within several THOUSAND points of my IQ, otherwise. 😳

    4
  19. RSH, if you really want to confuse them about time zones I offer the following, when I flew home from the Philippines on Monday Aug. 11. 1975 we left Clark AFB at 1 PM local time and flew to Japan and then Alaska and finally to Travis AFB outside of San Francisco at approx. 5:30 PM PDT on the same day Aug. 11 after being in the air for 20 hours + and flying across the Pacific Ocean and down the West coast to SF. Talk about jet lag, it took us approx. 3 – 3 and a half weeks to go from San Diego to the Philippines on board the Kitty Hawk. Thank God i flew home when I got out of the Navy. I can’t even begin to imagine how long it took Magellan to go from Spain to the Philippines in the 1500’s.

    1
  20. “You need a license to catch a fish, but any asshole can vote.”
    (paraphrased from a movie)

    izlamo delenda est …

    2
  21. I looked at Top Secret satellite film in the Air Force as a photo interpreter. Sometimes the targets were obscured by cloud cover. We would ask new guys to go to supply and get a jar of cloud eradicator so we could remove the clouds and view the targets. They always went.

    2
  22. Benito, geoff the aardvark, Tired Chief,
    The prank on my boat was sending the NUBs back aft to feed the shaft seals.

    1
  23. I still think the funniest thing I ever saw in boot camp was when my company was out on the grinder on Worm Island in San Diego and we were being inspected by our Company Commander and a seagull pooped right on the bill of the Company Commanders cap. It was extremely hard not to laugh at that and stifle a laugh with a straight face and not get caught laughing at that moment. Fortunately no one got caught, forced running around the grinder with an M 1 held erect over your head was the usual punishment for something like that until our drill instructor was satisfied he’d punished the offending recruit enough. And who can forget standing like packed sardines in the chow line with the constant yelling at us of, “Nut to butt, make the guy in front of you smile.” Are they still allowed to do that now? I hope not.

    1

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