Babylon Bee: Democrats Reveal They Have Planted Dynamite All Around Nation And Will Blow It Up If Biden Not Elected

Babylon Bee

In an address to the nation written using letters cut out from a magazine and glued to paper, the Democrats are offering their most persuasive case yet for Biden’s election. According to the letter, Democrats have planted booby traps rigged with dynamite all throughout the country, and they are set to explode if Biden is not elected president. 

“Why so serious?” said Biden’s running mate Kamala Harris. “It’s just a little joke! The real joke is Trump, and we’re just joining in all the fun! HEE HEE HEE HA HO HA HEE HO!” More

19 Comments on Babylon Bee: Democrats Reveal They Have Planted Dynamite All Around Nation And Will Blow It Up If Biden Not Elected

  1. The democrats should be nominated for the Domestic War Prize. In fact they should be nominated for several Domestic War Prizes.

    They are very good at domestic war.

  2. Never found the Bee to be funny.

    Am I to laugh off that I truly believe the marxist/anarchists aren’t stockpiling explosives for Election Day and beyond?

    Sorry. Not in the mood.

  3. Such weird times right now.

    Peace in the ME just kinda snuck up on everyone and one of the most important events of the year quietly takes place in the WH today, while many, many, many ordinary Americans are told to “shelter in place” because of a virus, hazardous levels of wildfire smoke, and anti/BurnLootMurder on the loose.

    If this mess doesn’t end soon, I think we’ll be moving to Israel.

  4. AnsWerman
    I am old. Started college in ’61.

    Liberals have been rioting agis America for over 60 years! NOT JUST THE LAST 4!

  5. ¡¿! ISRAEL¡¿!

    Christ, I’m not gonna’ haggle for every day items like fruit or gum.

    “6 for this? you must be mad! Oy!”

    Just mail us back twisted shrapnel bits so we can auction it off as BLM riot memorabilia.

  6. @Aaron Burr — You have an awfully rosy picture of haggling. It isn’t, “You must be mad!” It’s more like, “You are taking the food from my children’s mouths! I will have to sell their shoes to feed them!”

    There’s a rhythm and an art to the ritual of haggling. Once you get into it, it’s kind of fun. Much more fun than negotiating with an HR drone over the non-boilerplate items you want added to your employment contract, like an hour massage with a Swedish masseuse every Thursday or a key to the executive washroom.

  7. @Phenry – I’m with YOU…the pic of the great Daniel Chester French sitting Lincoln WRAPPED in dyno is fucking disturbing quite honestly. With a hideous person in front of it? She is disgusting.

    I’ve been triggered…not fucking funny in the least. THEY ARE PLANNING ON THIS. This is NOT A JOKE!!!

    @Abigail Adams – I have never been and WANT to go to Israel, but NEVER thought about STAYING there!? Verrrry interesting…if anything.

    Was thinking more about western South Dakota?

  8. Recently, I have found the Bee to be sadly lacking in sarc.

    This article could so easily be true—like many others of theirs.

  9. @UncleAl, I’m going to agree! I’ve haggled in India a lot and it’s freaking glorious!!

    There IS a rhythm and game to it, and when you get ppl who enjoy it, you each recognize the fun the other is having. There’s a strange sort of meeting of the minds, and when it’s over it’s like you’re great pals.

    Oh but how I miss that, it really is fun.

  10. We shouldn’t haggle over our future.
    Socialists don’t haggle. Hitler didn’t haggle with the Jews. Stalin didn’t haggle with the Cossacks. Turkey didn’t haggle with the Armenians.
    The totalitarians DEMAND that we finance the destruction of America.
    This multi-Trillion dollar abomination in the name of the Wuhan Flu hoax is nothing more than theft and corruption of the highest order. The money will be funnelled to the totalitarians in CA, NY, WA, OR, IL, MD, MA, &c. and we’re morons if we allow it.
    We should tell them “Hell NO!” in no uncertain terms.

    And – if they persist – do away with them.

    The only haggle is “Where do you want it?”

    izlamo delenda est …


Comments are closed.