Recently published: The Chizzum Trail : America’s Gay Bars, Bathhouses, and Seedy Hotels, by Terence “Faggy” Bottom (NY Times Best Seller ). Review by Cuban-German Author, Pornography Expert, and Doctor of Sexology Ricardo “Dick” Schnorkel.
Review
The book is a -hard-to-put-down true account of a gay New Yorker , Terence “Faggy” Bottom, who spent a year blazing a trail from east to west, from New York City through the “flyover country” and all the way to the west coast to find the seediest gay bars, flophouses, cheap hotels, student hostels, and YMCA residences in the country. His quest took him through both gay friendly and undisputably gay hostile areas before reaching friendly San Francisco. His story is at times hilarious, enlightening, and sometimes scary.
While searching for the best queer one-night stand of his life, Mr. Bottom took several detours to visit bars and bathhouses in gay hot spots such as Key West, Chicago, Madison, Austin, Santa Fe, Las Vegas and of course, West Hollywood. He recounts both pleasurable and terrifying incidents, like being chased by a Nebraska farmer who tried to skewer him with a pitchfork. Mr. Bottom told the man that he loved the idea of being skewered and forked, but not necessarily by a pitchfork. The farmer finally backed off, muttering something about “fairy boys having sex relations” with his male pigs and goats, no doubt a complete exaggeration and indicative of the old Christian-conservative hate mindset, which would probably get aroused by a farmer sticking his pitchfork into a gay’s rear end. Mr. Bottom finally found the gold at the end of his personal rainbow in a memorable one-night stand with three other gays, very appropriately in San Francisco’s Castro district. Mr. Bottom called the experience “Titanic”
Mr. Bottom did his very best to protect himself from STDs and other ailments, however six months after the end of his quest, in November 2024, he was unfortunately diagnosed with having AIDS, syphilis, gonorrhea, herpes, a ruptured esophagus, anal polyps, swollen gonads, head lice, a broken right wrist, and for good measure, he was infested with bedbugs. Mr. Bottom’s doctors say he will be leaving the hospital “probably pretty soon”.
Nevertheless, Mr. Bottom asserts he had the best time of his life, and pledges to do it again, next time from west to east, and is looking forward to the next chapter of his “Grand Tour” of America’s fag underground. Mr. Bottom is also seeking a TV deal that would record his adventures along “The Chizzum Trail”.
1
That’s quite a “Bad Joke Friday” story. Was there supposed to be a laugh line in there? Jeez, I was waiting for one but it wasn’t there.
4
Here’s a good one: a wanna-be self-promoting teenager and awful admnistrator who can’t even protect her handbag named kristi noem is the head of Homeland Security.
Here’s another good one: Pam “Blondi” Bondi is in charge of releasing the Epstein files.
1
@Joe
There are lots of things to laugh at in the story. Disgusting types of humans and their activities can be very comical.
2
A guy fell off the balcony of my favorite bar last night….I don’t know who he is, but he definaly wasn’t a bouncer….
11
A bar joke:
An amnesiac walks into a bar.
He goes up to a beautiful blonde and says, “So, do I come here often?”
8
Apparently you can’t use “beef stew” as a password.
It’s not stroganoff.
RIP boiled water. You will be mist.
Why did the blind man fall into the well?
Because he couldn’t see that well.
What days are the strongest? Saturday and Sunday, the rest are week days.
My friend David lost his ID… Now I call him Dav.
What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller.
I was just looking at my ceiling. Not sure if it’s the best ceiling in the world, but it’s definitely up there.
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo I had to put my foot down.
What’s the leading cause of dry skin? Towels.
Shout out to my grandma, that’s the only way she can hear.
My dad always told me “don’t be quick to find faults”…
Good man, terrible geologist.
What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.
I told my wife she drew her eyebrows too high.
She seemed surprised.
15
Therapist: “They are NOT antidepressants!”
Patient: “All I’m saying is I’ve never been less than happy while holding a taco.”
Therapist: “FOR THE LAST TIME, I can’t get your insurance to cover tacos!”
Patient: “Don’t yell at me. You need a taco.”
7
I can’t wait to ride “The Chizzum Trail!”
Q: What do you get if you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A: A flat miner.
6
Oh, look! C Flat Miner!
5
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Southerner, a New Englander, and a Californian, an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 47 Africans all from different African countries all walk into a fine restaurant.
The maître d’ scrutinized the entire group one by one, and then barred them all from entering, saying, “Sorry, you can’t come in here without a Thai.”
9
Even tho Passover has come and gone, I still like this one:
Levi took his Passover lunch to eat outside in the park where he sat down on a bench and began eating.
Eventually a blind man came by and sat down on the bench next to him where upon they struck up a friendly conversation. Levi, feeling in a sharing mood, gave the blind man some of his unleavened matzo bread.
So the blind man took it and started feeling it to figure out what exactly he was holding. First he felt the Matzo on one side for a few moments, then turned it over and felt the other side.
Finally he just shook his head and shrugged his shoulders, turned to Levi and said:
“who wrote this shit?”
9
I know a woman who compulsively buys magazine subscriptions.
Recently published: The Chizzum Trail : America’s Gay Bars, Bathhouses, and Seedy Hotels, by Terence “Faggy” Bottom (NY Times Best Seller ). Review by Cuban-German Author, Pornography Expert, and Doctor of Sexology Ricardo “Dick” Schnorkel.
Review
The book is a -hard-to-put-down true account of a gay New Yorker , Terence “Faggy” Bottom, who spent a year blazing a trail from east to west, from New York City through the “flyover country” and all the way to the west coast to find the seediest gay bars, flophouses, cheap hotels, student hostels, and YMCA residences in the country. His quest took him through both gay friendly and undisputably gay hostile areas before reaching friendly San Francisco. His story is at times hilarious, enlightening, and sometimes scary.
While searching for the best queer one-night stand of his life, Mr. Bottom took several detours to visit bars and bathhouses in gay hot spots such as Key West, Chicago, Madison, Austin, Santa Fe, Las Vegas and of course, West Hollywood. He recounts both pleasurable and terrifying incidents, like being chased by a Nebraska farmer who tried to skewer him with a pitchfork. Mr. Bottom told the man that he loved the idea of being skewered and forked, but not necessarily by a pitchfork. The farmer finally backed off, muttering something about “fairy boys having sex relations” with his male pigs and goats, no doubt a complete exaggeration and indicative of the old Christian-conservative hate mindset, which would probably get aroused by a farmer sticking his pitchfork into a gay’s rear end. Mr. Bottom finally found the gold at the end of his personal rainbow in a memorable one-night stand with three other gays, very appropriately in San Francisco’s Castro district. Mr. Bottom called the experience “Titanic”
Mr. Bottom did his very best to protect himself from STDs and other ailments, however six months after the end of his quest, in November 2024, he was unfortunately diagnosed with having AIDS, syphilis, gonorrhea, herpes, a ruptured esophagus, anal polyps, swollen gonads, head lice, a broken right wrist, and for good measure, he was infested with bedbugs. Mr. Bottom’s doctors say he will be leaving the hospital “probably pretty soon”.
Nevertheless, Mr. Bottom asserts he had the best time of his life, and pledges to do it again, next time from west to east, and is looking forward to the next chapter of his “Grand Tour” of America’s fag underground. Mr. Bottom is also seeking a TV deal that would record his adventures along “The Chizzum Trail”.
That’s quite a “Bad Joke Friday” story. Was there supposed to be a laugh line in there? Jeez, I was waiting for one but it wasn’t there.
Here’s a good one: a wanna-be self-promoting teenager and awful admnistrator who can’t even protect her handbag named kristi noem is the head of Homeland Security.
Here’s another good one: Pam “Blondi” Bondi is in charge of releasing the Epstein files.
@Joe
There are lots of things to laugh at in the story. Disgusting types of humans and their activities can be very comical.
A guy fell off the balcony of my favorite bar last night….I don’t know who he is, but he definaly wasn’t a bouncer….
A bar joke:
An amnesiac walks into a bar.
He goes up to a beautiful blonde and says, “So, do I come here often?”
Apparently you can’t use “beef stew” as a password.
It’s not stroganoff.
RIP boiled water. You will be mist.
Why did the blind man fall into the well?
Because he couldn’t see that well.
What days are the strongest? Saturday and Sunday, the rest are week days.
My friend David lost his ID… Now I call him Dav.
What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller.
I was just looking at my ceiling. Not sure if it’s the best ceiling in the world, but it’s definitely up there.
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo I had to put my foot down.
What’s the leading cause of dry skin? Towels.
Shout out to my grandma, that’s the only way she can hear.
My dad always told me “don’t be quick to find faults”…
Good man, terrible geologist.
What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.
I told my wife she drew her eyebrows too high.
She seemed surprised.
Therapist: “They are NOT antidepressants!”
Patient: “All I’m saying is I’ve never been less than happy while holding a taco.”
Therapist: “FOR THE LAST TIME, I can’t get your insurance to cover tacos!”
Patient: “Don’t yell at me. You need a taco.”
I can’t wait to ride “The Chizzum Trail!”
Q: What do you get if you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A: A flat miner.
Oh, look! C Flat Miner!
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Southerner, a New Englander, and a Californian, an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 47 Africans all from different African countries all walk into a fine restaurant.
The maître d’ scrutinized the entire group one by one, and then barred them all from entering, saying, “Sorry, you can’t come in here without a Thai.”
Even tho Passover has come and gone, I still like this one:
Levi took his Passover lunch to eat outside in the park where he sat down on a bench and began eating.
Eventually a blind man came by and sat down on the bench next to him where upon they struck up a friendly conversation. Levi, feeling in a sharing mood, gave the blind man some of his unleavened matzo bread.
So the blind man took it and started feeling it to figure out what exactly he was holding. First he felt the Matzo on one side for a few moments, then turned it over and felt the other side.
Finally he just shook his head and shrugged his shoulders, turned to Levi and said:
“who wrote this shit?”
I know a woman who compulsively buys magazine subscriptions.
She has issues.