The BIG joke is the wild and whacky, madcap, daffy, zany, looney, fractured, ring-a-ding, ding-a-ling, knee-slapping, side-splitting, rib-tickling, slap-happy, fukked up world of the democRAT party!
3
Didja hear about the cat that was arrested and convicted for littering?
The court sentenced him to 9 lives in prison.
4
Since The movie industry is on the skids, I suggest the following to revitalize the entire industry. These are remakes with a different twist:
A Touch of Crass
Dirty and Hairy
Butch Casualty and The Unbathed Kid
Forward to The Past
Dragula
Mexican Werewolves in LA
Star Wreck
Star Warped
2001: A Space Oddball
A Fistful of Confederate Dollars
Butt-Man and Rub-it
Al Frankenstein
Burning Saddle Sores
Illegal Alien
Brokeback Hotel
Pants and Pantsibility
Jane Eerie
The Stench Connection
The God-Awful Father
The Rug Roaches
5
@239: ura deadly mofo
3
“Arizona Man” sentenced to 1,000 years in prison.
An illegal alien, Pedro Ignacio Garcia, (called an “Arizona Man” by the New York Times) was sentenced by a Federal Court in Arizona yesterday.
Mr. Garcia, known as “PIG” to his family and friends, was convicted on 18 counts of rape of underaged girls, the murder of 78 people, 11 DUI’s, cruelty to animals, wife beating, and resisting arrest. His sentence was 1,000 years in a Federal penitentiary.
His court-appointed lawyer, Don Key, complained that his client has been treated unfairly by a “racist jury”, and complained that 1,000 years in prison without possibility of parole is “extremely vast overkill”. Mr. Key said that Mr. Garcia was not educated on US laws and culture, and that he had no idea that forcible rape was a crime in the US. As for the poisoning of 78 people, it was simply the result of Mr. Garcia’s experiment gone wrong. He put rat poison and arsenic into a town’s water supply to see if it is effective against rats. It was an innocent thing. As far as beating his wife, Mrs. Garcia said she didn’t blame him at all, that she was used to and even enjoyed getting beaten. Mr. Garcia admitted he abused animals, but it was limited to using a chain-saw to decapitate coyotes that he trapped near his home. Mr. Garcia resisted arrest because he thought the arresting officers were Mexican police.
Mr. Key claimed that Mr. Garcia is a fine, compassionate, loving father and husband. Further, according to Federal Guidelines he should have been sentenced to no more than five years imprisonment with weekend furloughs. Also, Mr. Garcia’s religious beliefs make him very fearful of being attacked by prison homosexuals.
President Trump commented that prisoner Garcia will spend time in the Leavenworth or Atlanta penitentiaries but will then be transferred to the renovated Alcatraz Federal Prison in San Franciso Bay some time next year. President Trump: “Mr. Garcia will spend 999 years in the beautiful newly renovated Alcatraz prison. He will enjoy excellent views of the San Franciso Bay and the downtown skyline. What’s not to like?”
3
up in the once great nw, there is a a body of water known as the strait of juan de fuca. some long-ago wit suggested it be known as the strait of juan de moth-fuca.
2
motha…
1
This is not my joke, but I laughed, so thought I’d share it with you.
In Hollywoodd, while on a film set, how do you know if one of the union goons dies?
A: The donut falls out of his hand.
2
Completely Inappropriate Team Names (any sport, pro or not)
Maine Longhorns
Seattle Sun
Tucson Beaneaters
San Francisco Straits
Tehran Hamhocks
Brooklyn Redwoods
Los Angeles Lakers (very few lakes around LA)
Dallas Assassins
New York Red Diapers
Chicago Popes
Cincinnati Sinners
2
From the past couple of weeks on my 2025 dad jokes calendar. I had to make all these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon. My son threw a milk carton at me. How dairy? What was the worst part about ancient history class? The teacher tends to Babylon. How do you make a rabbit stew? Keep it waiting. You never see penguins in Great Britain because they’re afraid of Wales. And last but not least, what follows the dinosaur? Its tail. I love cheesy dad jokes.
5
@Tim: regarding movies
Cassidy the Butch and the lesbo Kid.
3
Add to movies list:
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Chicken
6
A baker goes out of business – so he tries his hand at being a criminal. It did not work out because he would try to rob banks with:
His Buns a Glazin’
3
“My family’s in the iron and steel business. My mother irons and my father steals.” – Herman Munster
4
Q. What do you call a baker who bakes goodies for Easter?
A. A Yeaster
2
Q. What’s the difference between a vitamin and a hormone?
A. You can’t make a vitamin.
1
Q. What are the three things that don’t hang themselves?
A. Christmas Ornaments, drywall, and Jeffery Epstein.
5
Didja know there is a spa village in Germany called Bad Schmell?
I’ll tell you a good joke. Springsteen is releasing a country album.
https://americansongwriter.com/bruce-springsteen-is-finally-going-country-with-his-long-lost-somewhere-north-of-nashville-album/
The BIG joke is the wild and whacky, madcap, daffy, zany, looney, fractured, ring-a-ding, ding-a-ling, knee-slapping, side-splitting, rib-tickling, slap-happy, fukked up world of the democRAT party!
Didja hear about the cat that was arrested and convicted for littering?
The court sentenced him to 9 lives in prison.
Since The movie industry is on the skids, I suggest the following to revitalize the entire industry. These are remakes with a different twist:
A Touch of Crass
Dirty and Hairy
Butch Casualty and The Unbathed Kid
Forward to The Past
Dragula
Mexican Werewolves in LA
Star Wreck
Star Warped
2001: A Space Oddball
A Fistful of Confederate Dollars
Butt-Man and Rub-it
Al Frankenstein
Burning Saddle Sores
Illegal Alien
Brokeback Hotel
Pants and Pantsibility
Jane Eerie
The Stench Connection
The God-Awful Father
The Rug Roaches
@239: ura deadly mofo
“Arizona Man” sentenced to 1,000 years in prison.
An illegal alien, Pedro Ignacio Garcia, (called an “Arizona Man” by the New York Times) was sentenced by a Federal Court in Arizona yesterday.
Mr. Garcia, known as “PIG” to his family and friends, was convicted on 18 counts of rape of underaged girls, the murder of 78 people, 11 DUI’s, cruelty to animals, wife beating, and resisting arrest. His sentence was 1,000 years in a Federal penitentiary.
His court-appointed lawyer, Don Key, complained that his client has been treated unfairly by a “racist jury”, and complained that 1,000 years in prison without possibility of parole is “extremely vast overkill”. Mr. Key said that Mr. Garcia was not educated on US laws and culture, and that he had no idea that forcible rape was a crime in the US. As for the poisoning of 78 people, it was simply the result of Mr. Garcia’s experiment gone wrong. He put rat poison and arsenic into a town’s water supply to see if it is effective against rats. It was an innocent thing. As far as beating his wife, Mrs. Garcia said she didn’t blame him at all, that she was used to and even enjoyed getting beaten. Mr. Garcia admitted he abused animals, but it was limited to using a chain-saw to decapitate coyotes that he trapped near his home. Mr. Garcia resisted arrest because he thought the arresting officers were Mexican police.
Mr. Key claimed that Mr. Garcia is a fine, compassionate, loving father and husband. Further, according to Federal Guidelines he should have been sentenced to no more than five years imprisonment with weekend furloughs. Also, Mr. Garcia’s religious beliefs make him very fearful of being attacked by prison homosexuals.
President Trump commented that prisoner Garcia will spend time in the Leavenworth or Atlanta penitentiaries but will then be transferred to the renovated Alcatraz Federal Prison in San Franciso Bay some time next year. President Trump: “Mr. Garcia will spend 999 years in the beautiful newly renovated Alcatraz prison. He will enjoy excellent views of the San Franciso Bay and the downtown skyline. What’s not to like?”
up in the once great nw, there is a a body of water known as the strait of juan de fuca. some long-ago wit suggested it be known as the strait of juan de moth-fuca.
motha…
This is not my joke, but I laughed, so thought I’d share it with you.
I love the baby Trump!
https://x.com/KathleenWinche3/status/1922978721419473030
In Hollywoodd, while on a film set, how do you know if one of the union goons dies?
A: The donut falls out of his hand.
Completely Inappropriate Team Names (any sport, pro or not)
Maine Longhorns
Seattle Sun
Tucson Beaneaters
San Francisco Straits
Tehran Hamhocks
Brooklyn Redwoods
Los Angeles Lakers (very few lakes around LA)
Dallas Assassins
New York Red Diapers
Chicago Popes
Cincinnati Sinners
From the past couple of weeks on my 2025 dad jokes calendar. I had to make all these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon. My son threw a milk carton at me. How dairy? What was the worst part about ancient history class? The teacher tends to Babylon. How do you make a rabbit stew? Keep it waiting. You never see penguins in Great Britain because they’re afraid of Wales. And last but not least, what follows the dinosaur? Its tail. I love cheesy dad jokes.
@Tim: regarding movies
Cassidy the Butch and the lesbo Kid.
Add to movies list:
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Chicken
A baker goes out of business – so he tries his hand at being a criminal. It did not work out because he would try to rob banks with:
His Buns a Glazin’
“My family’s in the iron and steel business. My mother irons and my father steals.” – Herman Munster
Q. What do you call a baker who bakes goodies for Easter?
A. A Yeaster
Q. What’s the difference between a vitamin and a hormone?
A. You can’t make a vitamin.
Q. What are the three things that don’t hang themselves?
A. Christmas Ornaments, drywall, and Jeffery Epstein.
Didja know there is a spa village in Germany called Bad Schmell?