How come the Hulk doesn’t lose his pants when he transforms?
The experiment altered his jeans.
13
Don’t stand around doing nothing or people will mistake you for the boss!
5
The cable repairman was on my street and stopped to ask me the time. I told him it was between 1 p.m. and 5 p.m.
9
I’ve been bored recently so I decided to take up fencing. The neighbors keep demanding that I put it back.
7
“HEY MOE, I’VE GOT A MIGRAINE!!”
“MIGRAINE??”
“NOT YOUR GRAIN!! MIGRAINE”!!
5
Movie remakes with a difference:
The Sweet Smell of Death
Small
The Three Stooges Go To Mars
Abbot and Costello vs. Adolf Hitler
New York, No Pork
Low Valley Drifter
Smart and Smarter
Sleazy Rider
Hot Hand Luke
Who’ll Stop The Insanity?
A Pair of Lips, Now.
2
The Upcoming Biden Family Problem: Finding a graveyard that will accept Joe’s remains.
Arlington National Cemetery obtained samples of Joe Biden’s DNA and blood. They experimented by seeing how a patch of grass and the local insects and other life would react to the sample. Unfortunately the grass shortly turned brown and died and the area was vacated by the insects that live above the ground the worms that live under the ground. A further test indicated that all bacteria had also fled that area.
An ANC spokesperson said that the grass from a radius of twenty feet from the gravesite would die and never come back, no matter what the groundkeepers did, and there would be no worms to aerate the earth underneath and around the casket. The spokesperson stated that ANC would be unable to accept Mr. Biden’s remains for burial.
The Biden Family is shopping around for another cemetery that would be willing to accept Joe Biden’s remains.
3
Remake of 1958 hit, Oh Donna.
Oh Vodka, Oh Vodka
I had a bottle
Vodka was its name
Ever since I drained it
I’ve never been the same
‘Cause I love my Vodka
Vodka, where can you be?
Oh Vodka,
Where have you gone
Leaving me alone
To wallow and moan
‘Cause I love my Vodka
Vodka, where can you be?
3
Two guys sitting at a bar, drinking beer.
One guy says to the other: Is that Hortense down at the far end?
Other guy: Nah, she’s just a little nervous.
5
News from the Future NBA. Here’s CBN network’s Bob Assman.
Hello Basketball Ball fans. It’s 2075 and we have an update for those folks way back in 2025.
The NBA has expanded to 80 teams, 25 of them in China. No player under 7 feet is allowed to play in the league. The tallest player currently playing is Irving Washington at 9 feet 6 inches. A basket is now worth 4 points. A recent game between Beijing RedDevilDogs and the Orlando Snakeheads ended up 410 for the RedDevilDogs and 405 for the Snakeheads. In the last minute of the game, played in Beijing’s huge 250,000 seat Lenin Gardens Arena, had all the hometown fans screaming “DEFENSE, DEFENSE, DEFENSE”. Well, it worked as the Snakeheads were shut down by the RedDevilDog’s excellent defense.
The RedDevilDogs have the best defense in the league so far, with only 15,124 points scored against them, while the “Dawgs” have scored almost 15, 127 points against their opponents.
2
No matter what marble orchard Jackass Joe gets stuck into the grass around him will be urine-soaked for decades!
2
Q. What do the NBA teams the Washington Wizards and Orlando Magic due when they meet?
A. They each try to make the other team disappear.
3
Here is a video called the First TV Blooper. It concerns an elephant. Pretty funny.
Bad Joke;
Gavin Newsom
How come the Hulk doesn’t lose his pants when he transforms?
The experiment altered his jeans.
Don’t stand around doing nothing or people will mistake you for the boss!
The cable repairman was on my street and stopped to ask me the time. I told him it was between 1 p.m. and 5 p.m.
I’ve been bored recently so I decided to take up fencing. The neighbors keep demanding that I put it back.
“HEY MOE, I’VE GOT A MIGRAINE!!”
“MIGRAINE??”
“NOT YOUR GRAIN!! MIGRAINE”!!
Movie remakes with a difference:
The Sweet Smell of Death
Small
The Three Stooges Go To Mars
Abbot and Costello vs. Adolf Hitler
New York, No Pork
Low Valley Drifter
Smart and Smarter
Sleazy Rider
Hot Hand Luke
Who’ll Stop The Insanity?
A Pair of Lips, Now.
The Upcoming Biden Family Problem: Finding a graveyard that will accept Joe’s remains.
Arlington National Cemetery obtained samples of Joe Biden’s DNA and blood. They experimented by seeing how a patch of grass and the local insects and other life would react to the sample. Unfortunately the grass shortly turned brown and died and the area was vacated by the insects that live above the ground the worms that live under the ground. A further test indicated that all bacteria had also fled that area.
An ANC spokesperson said that the grass from a radius of twenty feet from the gravesite would die and never come back, no matter what the groundkeepers did, and there would be no worms to aerate the earth underneath and around the casket. The spokesperson stated that ANC would be unable to accept Mr. Biden’s remains for burial.
The Biden Family is shopping around for another cemetery that would be willing to accept Joe Biden’s remains.
Remake of 1958 hit, Oh Donna.
Oh Vodka, Oh Vodka
I had a bottle
Vodka was its name
Ever since I drained it
I’ve never been the same
‘Cause I love my Vodka
Vodka, where can you be?
Oh Vodka,
Where have you gone
Leaving me alone
To wallow and moan
‘Cause I love my Vodka
Vodka, where can you be?
Two guys sitting at a bar, drinking beer.
One guy says to the other: Is that Hortense down at the far end?
Other guy: Nah, she’s just a little nervous.
News from the Future NBA. Here’s CBN network’s Bob Assman.
Hello Basketball Ball fans. It’s 2075 and we have an update for those folks way back in 2025.
The NBA has expanded to 80 teams, 25 of them in China. No player under 7 feet is allowed to play in the league. The tallest player currently playing is Irving Washington at 9 feet 6 inches. A basket is now worth 4 points. A recent game between Beijing RedDevilDogs and the Orlando Snakeheads ended up 410 for the RedDevilDogs and 405 for the Snakeheads. In the last minute of the game, played in Beijing’s huge 250,000 seat Lenin Gardens Arena, had all the hometown fans screaming “DEFENSE, DEFENSE, DEFENSE”. Well, it worked as the Snakeheads were shut down by the RedDevilDog’s excellent defense.
The RedDevilDogs have the best defense in the league so far, with only 15,124 points scored against them, while the “Dawgs” have scored almost 15, 127 points against their opponents.
No matter what marble orchard Jackass Joe gets stuck into the grass around him will be urine-soaked for decades!
Q. What do the NBA teams the Washington Wizards and Orlando Magic due when they meet?
A. They each try to make the other team disappear.
Here is a video called the First TV Blooper. It concerns an elephant. Pretty funny.
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-45576981
Shouldn’t that be the first TV pooper.