Bewitched Reboot Sounds HilariAWFUL

Deadline-

In Bewitched, written by Barris and Taylor, Samantha, a hardworking black single mom who happens to be a witch, marries Darren, a white mortal who happens to be a bit of a slacker. They struggle to navigate their differences as she discovers that even when a black girl is literally magic, she’s still not as powerful as a decently tall white man with a full head of hair in America.

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Can’t wait to not watch.

ht/ illustr8r

41 Comments on Bewitched Reboot Sounds HilariAWFUL

  1. …wait, what?
    Why is every single relationship interracial or gay?
    …and that isn’t even what I’m taking issue with here.
    Why insert race bullshit into the Samantha/Darren relationship?
    They had such a lovely one in the original show.
    And finally, my biggest issue, why make poor Darren incompetent? He was always uptight about magic usage and his job, but he wasn’t a total buttmonkey.
    That pisses me off.

    24
  2. Oh Gawd, the comments…THE COMMENTS!!! (following are all from ONE!)

    “Dear Lord, there are a bunch of whiny-ass white people commenting here.”
    Thanks for the heads-up, you hate-filled racist!

    This issue isn’t about race!”
    Except for when the developers SAY it’s about race, with a BLACK Samantha.

    “The issue is about remaking classics – some might find this a positive.”
    And some might find this regurgitating profit-makers by the brain-dead. What’s next, “My Favorite Gaytian”? “Ms. Ed”?!! I’m only surprised they didn’t make it a lesbian couple.

    “I for one, loved the original series, loved both Darren’s, and feel like this isn’t going to work – see “Charmed”.”
    I’d rather not. Ever.

    “We live in very different times. Comedy is very different in 2018 than it was in the mid to late ’60’s. That’s the problem.”
    Comedy doesn’t *exist* in 2018, imbecile. You get doxxed and/or ruined if you dare run against the fascist orthodoxy.

    “If you’re here to comment that race is the problem, then, well, you are the problem”
    And, thanks for proving my point about that orthodoxy, you faggy fascist.

    27
  3. They will make Darren a slacker they say. Are they attempting to show that a White Man is just like a Black Man, we Men’s all do da same chit ?

    15
  4. Will they have an interracial “Tabitha” a few episodes later on? I hear it’s all the rage now days to rid the planet of it’s disgusting whiteness.

    9
  5. How about a reboot of the Beverly Hillbillies with them being a bunch of illegal aliens who take over a vacant Beverly Hills mansion?
    Another variation, keeping with the becoming rich from oil, make them an Arab family the Jihad Hillbillies.?

    34
  6. I never did like Bewitched in the first place, I thought it was stupid. We used to call it Bebitched. Can’t the idiots in hollyweird come up with anything new or do they just think we’re all stupid and will watch any drivel and pablum thrown at us as entertainment? I doubt very seriously if they’d ever reboot classics like Gunsmoke or Combat and if they did they’d totally screw it up.

    13
  7. Remake Mr. Ed with Ed being a rose bush who scratches meat eaters with deadly rose poison? No?
    Okay, remake The Adams Family with Eddie being…wait, The Adams Family already is the DNC…

    6
  8. Can the dull and untalented Hollywood writers possibly be any less creative? Just what the viewing public wants, another retread. But wait, why not attempt to make the show even less favorable by adding a social message? Gladys Kravitz will probably be involved in a lesbian relationship and Endora will self identify as Muslim refugee from Crapistan.

    7
  9. I only hope that, *since* they’ve already decided to make Samantha black, instead of her twitching her nose for magic, they make her twerk…”truth in advertising.”

    26
  10. Hollywood will never learn. Every reboot they’ve tried on tv and in movies where they change the characters’ features has been a flop. See “Ghostbusters” and “Ocean’s 8”.
    Did you know they’re also rebooting “Murphy Brown”? Staying with Candace what’s her name. They’ve already said it will be about bashing Trump.
    “Magnum PI” is being rebooted but I haven’t heard much about that one.
    There is a list of shows and movies that are being remade with gender swaps.
    How many do you think will be flops too? My guess, every single one of them.
    The writers nowadays have no imagination at all.
    That’s what happens when you’re brought up to be a snowflake, participation trophy recipient weenie with every allergy in the book.

    12
  11. How about a reboot “My Three Gender Neutral Children”?
    Or, female genital mutilation show “Cleaver the Beaver”?

    29
  12. I’m holding out for the reboot of the astronaut finding a mysterious vase containing a sexy secret when his lunar module lands near a deserted island.

    I Dream of Jemima.

    17
  13. I imagine things are getting pretty woke in the writing department. And the more black actors the producers shoehorn into the scripts, the more black writers will be required to write dialogue for them, because white writers putting words in a black actors mouth is now highly problematic. This “comedy” will end up being a preachy, heavy handed dud, with awful writing cranked out by affirmative action mediocrities.

    But this was bound to happen, because black people spend much more of their time watching TV than anyone else, and the rest of us have been tossed overboard as the networks cater to their favorite, most dependable market segment.

    And comedy is truly dead in the age of “That’s not funny”. Next time you are watching TV, note how many smiles you see during a show. You can count them on one hand, no matter if it’s a comedy or drama. It’s like we’ve returned to the Victorian era, where nobody ever smiled in photographs.

    10
  14. Now I hear they are doing a 50s style reboot starring Bill Clinton! It’s called Cleavage To Beaver.

    11
  15. [this is me being 100 percent serious]

    They SHOULD just reboot I dream of Jeanie, and cast Jeanie as an arab girl. Maybe mix the gender for Doctor Bellows so that the good doc is a stressed out lady psychiatrist, make Roger a black man who considers himself a ladies man while keepin it real for Tony, keep all of the other characters [especially Tony] white/ and or their original gender, and you’ve got a realistically ‘progressive’ setting that makes a million zillion times more sense and might actually last more then one season.

    3
  16. My office Christmas party of 2016 was glorious. Particularly since I work with progressive Amero/Euroweenie leftists who are still in full-blown meltdown. The America First platform is driving them insane. Because of Trump’s background in television, the conversation turned to conservative and liberal television shows. As we always end up doing, we made a game of it, picked a couple of shows and started with Bewitched vs. I Dream of Jeannie. I took the position that Bewitched was more conservative and IDoJ was leftist. The person on the winning team, got to pick a person on the losing team and for this challenge, the loser had to recite the poem of choice of the winner.

    B: Pure capitalist. Worked for blue chip advertising firm. The customer was always right, making a profit was the goal. Whenever he messed up and lost the company money, his boss fired his ass.
    J: Government worker. Government property was constantly destroyed, and the tax payer picked up the tab (destroyed property was rarely restored even when they had the power to do so).

    B: One man, one woman. Married couple that slept in same bed.
    J: Unmarried man lived with unmarried half naked woman who lived in a bottle. Whoever opened her bottle, got her.

    B: Wife had magical powers, but husband didn’t want her to use. Repeatedly told her about the joy of working at a job he loved and the satisfaction it brought him to be able to provide for his family. He was well aware she could provide anything they needed. It was not her job to do so, it was his as head of the family.
    J: Had no problems having her use her magic to get what he wanted and often asked her to.

    B: She loved being at home and taking care of her family. Learned to do the things mortally that she couldn’t do
    J: Spent all of her time wondering what he was doing, who he was doing it with and how to stop it. Always showed up at his job causing trouble

    B: Had extended family that were part of the show. (Named all of them)
    J: Not so much (mother and father—in arabic garb no less) in one or two episodes

    B: Had a lookalike cousin who caused mischief, never tried to take her cousin’s husband
    J: Had a lookalike sister who was always trying to steal her man.

    B: Was all-American witch (and very Eurocentric: spoke Italian and Spanish on the show)
    J: Was middle eastern (spoke Arabic on the show)

    B: Had black friends and co-workers.
    J: Liked Sammy Davis Jr, the black friend of every person in the 60s.

    B: She was human, gave birth to children. Her children had biblical names: Tabitha and Adam
    J: Not sure because she couldn’t even be photographed; Major Nelson married a mannequin at the wedding.

    B: Went to church, served on PTA, church bazaars and other community events
    J: Caused confusion and disrupted every one of those events

    B: Liked animals, particularly dogs.
    J: Had a dog named JinJin (means devil in Arabic) who hated the military and anyone who wore a uniform and would repeatedly attack them.

    B: Had shows with celebrity and historical figures, especially American ones, which gave historical facts about the character.
    J: Had a few celebrity figures on show, mostly Hollywood and musicians

    Anyway, our team racked up the most points so I selected the poem: “Tribute to the Dog, the one attributed to Senator George Vest.” Picked the nauseating husband of a co-worker to recite it. It gave me a perverse sense of pleasure to watch him trip over the words. Allah Akbar, you SOB. And, then to add insult to injury, I made everyone watch Ronald Reagan give the same speech on Death Valley Days.

    Last board meeting, it was Batman vs. The Green Hornet.

    I did hate the second Darrin, though.

    14
  17. The perversion of America by Hollyweird continues. Hollywood types will continue to push for the acceptance of these depravities until middle America accepts them. I don’t think that will happen. Some of us still have morals. I detest what I see on the screen now days.
    I miss John Wayne, Red Skelton, Ed Sullivan, Carol Burnette and a host of other wholesome entertainers. I know I’m stuck a few decades back but right is right and wrong ain’t.

    7
  18. TV lost me years ago. If they were to make something I would like to watch similar to Last Man Standing they would cancel it before I knew about it. I think I only looked at it because of IOTW?
    if I have time to see a movie I plug one in or find one on the intertube.

    1
  19. Yet another in an endless series of tv shows, movies and especially commercials with the strong, smart black and/or woman authority figure, and the bumbling, lazy, stupid white male. It is so common it has become cliche.

    3
  20. Don’t forget to forget to watch the reboot of “FBI” this fall. It looks to be propaganda for the FBI like “Madam Secretary” was for Hillary. And boy, is this a golden age for minority bit part actors.

    4
  21. And Elizabeth Montgomery was no prize either. From Wikipedia:

    Montgomery was personally devoted to liberal political beliefs, and she “lent her name, along with a great deal of time, money, and energy to a wide variety of charitable and political causes”.[16] She had progressive political views and was an outspoken champion of women’s rights, AIDS activism, and gay rights.[17] Montgomery was also pro-choice throughout her life. She was an ardent critic of the Vietnam War, and in later years, she was an active advocate for AIDS research and outreach to the disabled community.[16] Professionally, she lent her voice as narrator to two political documentaries critical of US foreign policy, Cover Up: Behind the Iran Contra Affair (1988) and the Academy Award-winning The Panama Deception (1992).[18] In June 1992, Montgomery and her former Bewitched co-star Dick Sargent, who had remained good friends, were grand marshals at the Los Angeles Gay Pride Parade.

    3
  22. If you’ve been around for a while, you really can see that the breakdown of society tailgates the slime the entertainment industry vomits out. Being your own photographer, musician, or other form of artist really makes sense in this day of trash, unless you want to lower your standards and absorb someone else’s skewed perceptions.
    Did you see what the son of Jim Henson did to the Muppets?
    His cemetery neighbors probably call him ‘Turbo’.

    3
  23. My Three Sons Remix: #1 is gay illegal immigrant, #2 is genderqueer and Muslim, and #3 is a boy with a vagina and a Communist.

    A laff riot ensues as the boys get into hilarious escapades involving debunking the myths of toxic masculinity, gender nonconformity, and religious intolerance.

    In Episode 1, “Dad” is outed as a Nazi when he displays the American flag on July 4. The sons teach Dad about intolerance and the cruel history of the US. Dad confesses his white privilege let’s the boys hold an orgy in the house over the weekend.

    In Episode 2, Dad is outed as a Christian when he puts up a Christmas Tree on December 24. The sons teach Dad about intolerance and the cruel history of bigotry among Christians. Dad denounces his Christian upbringing and joins the Communist Brigade of Repentant Parents to help The Oppressed Masses by turning over his car keys to the boys.

    5
  24. A remake of The Odd Couple would now be about a married, white heterosexual couple.

    Perhaps a religious black family from Chicago moves out West prior to the Civil War in a coming of age story about their second daughter: Little Project on the Prairie

    Jamie Foxx can reprise his role as Django Unchained in Dodge City, Kansas as he replaces a crooked, racist James Arness: It can be called “Gat-smoke!” Ever hold a six iron sideways? Be a victim of a horse-by?

    Lassie will, of course, switch out a collie with a black Labrador.

    A struggling nightclub DJ tries to find a healthy work-life balance in:
    Make Room for BabyDaddy.

    What? Blacks can be doctors too. Medical drama abounds at the neighborhood planned parenthood clinic: Marquise Welby, M.D.

    My Three Sons With Different Fathers

    Three spicy latinas solve crimes with the help of a disembodied voice in a smartphone in Los Angeles de Carlos.

    A middle-aged, white teacher leaves the comfort of his gentrified, inner city neighborhood to the outskirts of the metro area which is now home to relocated former inner city hoodlums. They’ll learn about life, love and maybe even themselves. It’s “Welcome Back, Cracker”.

    6
  25. MASH reboot – Klinger can’t wear a dress to get out of the Army. Hawkeye does an emergency sexual reassignment surgery on Klinger whether he wants it or not. We finally find out how BJ got his name.

    6
  26. DAMN! Brothers be so shady even the magic sistahs prefer a lazy ass cracker over a black man.

    I LOVE THIS PREMISE! Mrs. Kravits will be the black drag queen livin’ across the street with it’s Puerto Rican lover.

    2

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