Biden: ‘I Promise You: If I’m Elected…We’re Going to Cure Cancer’


Former Vice President and presidential hopeful Joe Biden promised to cure cancer in a campaign speech in Iowa on Tuesday:

“You know, a lot of you understand that, what loss is and when loss occurs, you know that, people come up to you and tell you, ‘I understand if you lose a husband, a wife, a son, a daughter, a family member.’ And lots of times you feel like saying, you know, ‘I know how you’re feeling,’ but hadn’t. You look at them, you know they mean well, you have no idea how I feel.

But when it happens to you, you know. That’s why I’ve worked so hard in my career to make sure that I promise you, if I’m elected president, you’re going to see the single most important thing that changes America, because we’re going to cure cancer.

“But, that’s another issue.”


24 Comments on Biden: ‘I Promise You: If I’m Elected…We’re Going to Cure Cancer’

  1. …”And if elected, people like Christopher Reeves will be out of a wheelchair….” (or something like that) -John Edwards, 2004 VP candidate.

    “And if I’m erected, I mean elected, we’re all going to get laid!”- Bman, 2020 Presidential Candidate.

  2. What Our Joey Bidet really meant to say was that he had been a cancer on our national political scene since 1973, and when he finally gets defeated once and for all time by one of his socialist rivals or President Trump, the voters will have finally cured us of his cancerous brand of politics. That will truly be a miracle cure.

  3. Ah Joe … the Israelis have beaten you to it!

    Isn’t that just like the jews?

  4. In Democrat speak that means if you arkancide anyone with cancer- it’s cured. Remember you can keep your doctor

  5. Cure Cancer?

    Drop a nuke on DC, that’ll be a good start. Although I hear cockroaches are impervious to radiation.

  6. A promise to cure cancer is just as sincere (and just as worthless) as a promise of free college, basic minimum income, free healthcare, “minimum” wage, and the rest of that bullshit.

    Reality cannot be gainsaid. Regardless of the vehemence of the lies or the violence of their implementation.

    izlamo delenda est …

  7. We’ve gone a long way from the “chicken in every pot” to “I’m gonna cure cancer”….

  8. So when did “cure cancer” become a euphemism for “sniff the necks of 9 year old girls”?

  9. Of course it’s a ridiculous promise but it wouldn’t surprise me if some dimwit dems out there stop their chemo and await Joe’s miracle. Too many people are just that blindly stupid.

  10. He could have promised apple orchards on Jupiter for all the difference it have made, the clapping seals ate his bullshit up.
    Anyone know the size of the crowd? I’m trying to gauge just how many idiots we’re up against.

  11. He wants to put conservatives in chains.
    Boy, does the left have their work cut out for themselves with this guy.
    What a gift we have here.

  12. He should find a cure for his drip from the lip, a horrible disease that hits mostly politicians.


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