Biden says Trump is personally signing every ChinaVirus check

DCN: JOE BIDEN SAYS PEOPLE WON’T GET CORONAVIRUS MONEY BECAUSE TRUMP IS PERSONALLY SIGNING EVERY CHECK.

Congress passed and President Trump signed a $2.2 trillion coronavirus relief package that will, among other things, get cash payments to over 160 million Americans. Old man Joe Biden, like the rest of us, is under house arrest and can no longer be outside to yell at the clouds, so from his basement bunker, he’s yelling at Trump. His latest fit of elderly rage has him thinking that people won’t be getting their checks any time soon because President Trump has to personally sign each one.

Since Joe retreated to his bunker, he spends his days trying to be real-life Babylon Bee headlines. This is Joe sticking the self-parody on Friday: MORE

23 Comments on Biden says Trump is personally signing every ChinaVirus check

  1. Actually Joe, he has a stamp with his signature so it should go a lot faster. 🤣🤣🤣

    Any then he’s giving a signature stamp to everyone in the Oval witnessing the stamping of the checks!!

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  2. Wow, he must’ve been sitting backwards on the toilet all morning to come up with that.

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  3. Joey:

    I oversaw an $800 billion program. The biggest recovery ever passed before this one and it was hard work to make sure there was no less than two-tenths of one-percent fraud when its got all finished.

    [emphasis added] Although you had no oversight in that program, I’m sure you’re right, Joey: no way there was less than 0.2% fraud — it HAD to be way more than that.

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  4. Joe realized he doesn’t have enough crayons in his basement bunker to sign that many checks therefore making in impossible.

    9
  5. Please, please Doctor Jill, don’t stop this elder abuse. The last time I saw anything this funny involved W. C. Fields and a bunch of Ubangis hanging around a circus tent; or perhaps it was the Marx Brothers and a very crowded small cabin room. Wait a damned minute, it was one of those scenes in the Charlie Chaplin movie when he was a gold prospector. Maybe it was that Buster Keaton movie where the side of a house falls on him, but he survives because he is standing exactly where there is a window. Oh, no! It’s when Oliver and Hardy are trying to get that big, heavy piano up those stairs. Whichever movie comedy scene I think of, Amnesia Joe Obiden Bama is almost as funny if you follow politics and have slightly skewed sense of humor. No wonder the Full Catastrophe Convention has been postponed, Obiden Bama’s gag writers are exhausted.

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  6. …I would personally LOVE to have an ORIGINAL Donald Trump signature, perhaps even to the point of not cashing it, but somehow I think he’d get a PHENOMENAL writer’s cramp after the first 100,000,000 or so, plus hand-signing those ELECTRONIC deposits would be the BITCH…

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  7. You were VP for President Autopen, Joe. Didn’t you know? They must have kept it hidden so you wouldn’t play with it.

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  8. If he thinks that’s hard, he should consider how hard it must be for the Secretary of Treasury to sign every dollar bill.

    Maybe that’s why there seems to be so little cash in use now, it takes too long to make much of it.

    6
  9. Soooo… this is the result of Jackass Joe sitting in front of the fish tank trying to tune in the National news…

    All I know is fer sure is that square peg is never going to fit into an oval office!

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  10. 160,000,000 checks, at 1 second per check, it would take 5 years to sign all those checks. Someone tell Joe this is a diabolical Trump plot to cancel the election so he can finish signing those checks. I swear, some joker on his staff is feeding him Babylon Bee stories just to hear him repeat them.

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  11. This man will not be the Democratic candidate for President. Get set for Mooch, Hillary or maybe some dark horse in the wings. If they eliminate Biden at the convention and acclaim someone else there’s less time to investigate their past to find out just what sort of crap they were in or who their masters really are. This is the time to start whispering in Bernie’s supporters ears about drafting him for a independent run or failing that a protest vote for Trump and any GOP Senate or congressional candidate. Let them know that an action like that would destroy the Democrat Party leaving them around to pick up the pieces.

    4
  12. @Anonymous
    APRIL 4, 2020 AT 1:19 PM
    “This goe to show you how dumb wife ‘dr. Jill’ is. Her degree is probably a scam too.“

    Well yeah, since she got her degree from the University of Delaware! Do the math!

    2
  13. Not only that Joe, you useless fuckstick, he’s using commemorative impeachment pens to sign them.
    Up yours, Nancy!

    3

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