Thank you for being a friend,
Stelter sucks at life again and again
He is fake news,
He’s a fraud and a potato head…
– Golden Girls Theme (2021 CNN Remix)
Some days you just want to revel in the misery of people you can’t stand. Today, it’s Brian Stelter. Stelter having one of the lowest-rated shows on the lowest-rated news network isn’t news. In case you weren’t aware, everyone hates Brian. Thanks to the meticulous research by our friends at the Post Millennial, we now know just how much. Stelter’s Reliable Sources loses in the ratings to Golden Girls reruns. More people would rather watch four old ladies on a thirty-five-year-old show than watch a genderless potato head emote and whine about Fox News.
Stelter, who, if he was on Golden Girls, would be Blanche’s brother, is such a turn-off to the important 25-54 demographic, viewers would rather watch Bea Arthur play a snarky old broad. Or watch Betty White do her best empty-headed Joe Biden impersonation. It’s not just Golden Girls reruns, either. According to PM, Spuddly also loses to: more