Babylon Bee
SACRAMENTO, CA — In a landmark initiative praised by advocates as a sign of tremendous progress for the handicapped community, the state of California mandated that homeowners install wheelchair ramps on all porches for disabled burglars.
Officials said it wasn’t right for handicapped criminals to be denied access to a majority of homes throughout the state, making it a priority to make sure disabled burglars would be able to get into every house.
“Who are we to deny an intruder access based on their disability?” asked Governor Gavin Newsom at a press conference announcing the mandate. “The days of ableist homeowners discriminating against the handicapped burglars of our society are over. California will be a land of opportunity — for all criminals.” more
What good is the ramp without a set of keys for the front door plus the announcement of the hours during the absence of the homeowners??
The problem with California is that if you don’t notice the byline, it seems like the article could be real.
RadioMattM,
Yep. When I read the header I thought “There they go, again.”
mortem tyrannis
izlamo delenda est …
I want to live in a state where they mandate that burglars must be disabled by homeowners.
Shit, I’m a resident and I thought it was real.
Is this The Babylon Bee?