Check Out This Thug’s Name

Of all the “urban” names that we (and that includes everybody) make fun of, this has to be my favorite to date. (Open post to see.)

It actually reminds me of an old joke. (I will risk everyone rolling their eyes because it’s “old” and everyone already heard it. I’m gonna post it anyway.)

St. Petersburg teen sentenced to prison after pleading guilty to attempted murder

A 16-year-old boy arrested nearly three years ago on charges that he shot at another boy and committed a robbery was sentenced Monday to eight years in prison.

Le’Genius Wisdom Williams of St. Petersburg, who was 13 then, pleaded guilty to shooting…

read more

ht/ just the tip

Okay, now the old joke.

Hippie Critic told this to me decades ago.

— Sophie knew it was time to put her husband Irving in the home. He had all sorts of problems, including, among other things, impotence.

But Irving was Jewish, and there was no room at the Jewish home. So Sophie had to put him in the secular home until there was a vacancy.

2 months later there was an opening, and Sophie called Irving to tell him to pack his bags.

Irving said, “I don’t know. I kind of like it here. I got to know a bunch of the guys and maybe I’ll stay.

They’re funny, in a corny way. For instance, they give everyone nicknames, and the nicknames are the opposite. Like, the fat guy, they call him ‘Slim.’

There’s a short guy they call ‘Stretch,’ and there’s a tall guy they call ‘Shorty.”

“Did they give you a nickname?,” Sophie asked?

“Yeah,” said Irving, “and they must have heard about my problem because they call me ‘Irving the Fuckin’ Jew.”



31 Comments on Check Out This Thug’s Name

  1. It doesn’t matter if it’s an old joke if you haven’t heard it before.

    And it’s a shame the kid didn’t live up to his name. Wonder what his siblings are named (you just know he’s got some)

  2. Decades? really?
    2 or 3 or ?
    I’m in my 70’s and you are maybe 48?
    Wish hippie would comment again

  3. Most of Obama’s sons have unique names, but this one takes the prize. Couldn’t remember the details of his case, but have remembered the name for the last three years.

  4. I thought for sure you were going with this one.

    A black guy goes to a doctor’s office to get a vasectomy. He shows up in a limo wearing a tuxedo. When it’s his turn, the doctor looks at him and says,” I’ve seen a lot of things, but I’ve never seen a guy coming in all dressed up like that!” And the black guy says, ” Well, if I’m gonna be im-po-tent, I’m gonna look im-po-tent!”

  5. I think the worst urban name I’ve heard yet is
    La-a (La dash a)

    If that’s not it, it’s damn close enough.

  6. If laughing at Ebonics-style names makes me a racist, them I am an incorrigible racist. I don’t care, they are hilarious!

    My favorites are actually fictional (I think) and appear in a little vignette in one of my favorite books, Unintended Consequences by John Ross. Just before things get really moving in the book, this passage appears (emphasis mine):

    G.G. Jackson was one of many women employed by agencies of the federal government. She had been born in Chicago’s South Side in 1963. Her mother, Shavonna Jackson, had been fifteen at the time. Like many 15-year-old single mothers, Shavonna Jackson had not thought much about the realities of motherhood, including the immediate problem of what to name her offspring.

    Concurrently, overworked interns on rotation in ghetto hospitals did what they could to entertain themselves amid 20-hour days in depressing surroundings. In 1963, as in all other years, one of the standard gambits among interns assigned to inner-city delivery rooms was to see who could cause the most outrageous name to be printed on the birth certificate of children born to ghetto teenagers.

    The second week of February, 1963 saw some serious competition among interns in south Chicago. In a five-day period, there were Chicago-area births registered for Madison Avenue Washington, Epluribus Wilson, Nosmo King (inspired by a waiting room sign), Simian Cook, and Anus Brown. The award that week, however, went to a young doctor from Grosse Pointe, Michigan, who hated working in the Chicago facility. He had suggested to Miss Jackson that she give her infant daughter a distinctive, happy-sounding name, and offered one he thought appropriate. He pronounced the first name with the accent on the second syllable, and Shavonna thought it sounded nice. Like ‘Gloria’, only fancier. People who read the name would pronounce it differently, but Shavonna could not read, so the impact of the intern’s joke was not felt for some time.

    When Shavonna learned the truth two years later, she started addressing her daughter by her first and middle initials, and the Jackson girl grew up pretending she was named for a pretty lady in a movie. To this day, G.G. Jackson was unaware of what was actually typed on her birth certificate.

    It was, heh-heh, Gonorrhea.

    BTW, anybody who has not yet read John Ross’s Unintended Consequences simply MUST do so. It is out of print and used copies are very expensive, but if you look hard enough you’ll find a .pdf version online for free.

  7. Back in 63 my younger sister had open heart surgery (hole in her heart she was 5) in recovery she hit the buzzer for the nurse then said “Aunt Jemima what took you so long” Just repeating the maple syrup commercial ,Mother liked to die.Nurse didn’t take it to kindly.

  8. Crack induced names, just like ‘Spam, Linoleum’ or Placenta.’ What ever happened to sensible names like Lee Roy or Grover W?

  9. @Uncle Al, that’s hilarious.
    My personal favorite (that I know is real) is a woman named “La Sonya”.
    Like Sonya/Sonja, only adding the French article makes it fancier.
    (You have to say it out loud.)

    BTW, thanks for the tip on that book.
    I found a PDF online with no trouble.
    749 pages !! That should keep me busy for awhile.

  10. @ Uncle Al

    I wonder if someone Georgia read the book.

    My elderly mother and I broke out laughing when someone named Epluribus Unum “whatever name” was mentioned on the radio in Georgia.

    I really can’t remember why he was mentioned, maybe an accident, but we just couldn’t believe someone would have that name. The parents of the many Shanda Lear seem like saints.

  11. I went to school with Starling Jenkins. He was cute, and my mom sponsored him for his first communion, because his parents never showed up.

  12. @norman e – I hope you enjoy the book as much as I did, and a lot of friends of mine did. One caveat: pretty much everybody says it is a bit too long, but no two people can agree on what should be cut! So, you’ll likely find some parts less than captivating, but those same parts are sure to be captivating to some other readers.

  13. I’ve seen a few weird ones as well, Atari Goldwire, Tishembe Jones, and a little black girl named “Female” pronounced as Fee-Mall-Yah..oh, and lets not forget her sista “Venereal”..

  14. My wife taught kindergarten in Alabama in an all black school system for 30 years. Every year they would have teacher-parent conferences at the mid term. She would always try to start the meeting off by saying something positive about the student. One year she was talking to the mother of a little girl named Paginamae (Pa-gina-mae) and had nothing positive to say about the little brat. So she started off by saying what a beautiful and unique name the child had. The mother said that she first heard the name while in labor in a Boston hospital. While she was laying there she kept hearing the most beautiful name over the imtercom – Paginamae to room 404 – Paginamae to the nursing station. She thought this woman is so busy she must be someone important. It wasn’t until the next morning after her child was born that she discovered who Paginamae was. It happened when someone else came on the intercom with a different dialect and pronounced the beautiful name correctly – “Paging a maid to room 303”

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