Commando Mother-in-Law

The crazy lady who fabricated a rape story about our president is an “advice columnist.” Since she’s sort of popularized the form as of late, we figured we’d post a dear Abby column.

How would you answer this?

DEAR ABBY: I have a wonderful mother-in-law whom I love very much. She frequently stays overnight in my home. I also have two young sons.

My mother-in-law recently mentioned to me that she doesn’t wear underwear to bed and never has, including while staying at my house. I’m troubled by this because she wears nightgowns to bed, and I’m afraid my sons might accidentally see her lady parts. Also, she sleeps on my furniture like this, and I feel it is disrespectful and unladylike.

I don’t know how to say to her that, for the sake of my furniture and my sanity, I need her to wear underwear to bed when she stays at my house. Do I broach this subject, or am I being unreasonable? — PROPER IN OHIO

!snip!

I’ll update later with Abby’s advice.

ht/ jd hasty

20 Comments on Commando Mother-in-Law

  1. 1920 hours eastern and you open up the evening with this?? You’re asking for it. Don’t blame us.

    Can you first describe her personal appearance, weight class and hygiene level? Would she drink most of the whiskey? Does she lock her ankles behind her neck while on the couch during Little House on the Prairie reruns with the kids in the room or save that for later?

    Let’s start with that before I reply.

    12
  2. Proper,
    Tell Mumsey this:
    “Listen to me, you old harridan. If my little kids see your lady bits and come to tell me about it. I will tell them that you used to be a man, and were involved in a horrible accident on the farm where you used to work. And that’s why they should be nice to you”

    15
  3. take the boys to Drag Queen Story Time … they’ll get over Grannie in a Nightie real quick!

    10
  4. If you don’t wear underwear to bed, your sheets get pretty dicey between washings. (I draw the line at pajamas, I don’t care how cold the house gets. Whoever invented them should be TOITSAS’d, in other words GOMP’d)

    4
  5. I don’t wear panties to bed – heh, I’ve had them on for 12 hours already, time to unleash the confinement and just hangout. I’m into comfort when I sleep, and underwear isn’t in my comfort zone.

    10
  6. Dear Propah,

    what you need to do is put out a menthol on her bitch ass leg and tell that skanky hoe to get the hell out your muther truckin house.

    Sorry…sorry…just got done listening to some Ice-T.

    5
  7. Instead of the thumbnail picture of a spinnaker drying in the sun. We need pictures of mom-in-law before deciding on the correct opinion about being her being, ah, without.

    3
  8. ..bear in mind that “Dear Abby” gave horrible, horrible advice in her VERY FIRST COLUMN and NEVER improved…

    “DEAR ABBEY: Maybe you can suggest something to help my sister. She is married to a real heel. He is 6 feet 3 and weighs 240, and she is 5 feet and weighs 106. He has a terrible temper and frequently knocks the daylights out of her. Their marriage is really a mess. L.L.
    DEAR L.L.: I admit your sister is no match for her heavyweight husband, but I’ve seen smaller gals flatten out bigger guys than this with just one look. If your sister has been letting this walrus slap her around frequently, maybe she likes it. Stay out of their family battles, Chum. When the girl who is taking it on the chin complains, I’ll know she needs my suggestions. ”

    https://www.sfgate.com/entertainment/article/How-Dear-Abby-column-started-at-The-Chronicle-3175255.php

    …I used to work with abused women. This is TERRIBLE advice that could EASILY result in a totally unnecessary death.

    …MY advice is, DON’T seek advice from THE MEDIA…

    3
  9. Mine does the same thing, I consider it harmless. I don’t go along with her having the boys spank her with a pingpong paddle while telling her she was a bad girl before sending her to bed w/out her dinner though.

    4

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