Compost The Dead! Compost The Dead!

Washington is posed to be the first state to allow survivors to have their loved one “recompositioned” (which sounds so much more empowering than the normal process of “decomposing”). Simply place the body in a vessel that hastens the break down of body tissue into reusable and wholly organic soil, to be spread across the lawn, garden, or favorite woodland. More

31 Comments on Compost The Dead! Compost The Dead!

  1. Hey! I saw that movie about 46 years ago! Chuck and “The Rifleman” were great!

    But I dont think I’ll eat it!

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  2. Only if everyone attending my funeral starts singing The Circle of Liiiiiiiiife….

    To each his own, really. I wish to be cremated and sprinkled in the Caribbean. Hubby is going to be cremated and pressed in a salt lick for the deer in the Wisconsin woods. There can be a poetry to it.

    And if you’re a dirty smelly hippie, perhaps being made into a smelly puddle of goo makes perfect sense.

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  3. @ Joe 6: “Ain’t we gonna bury ’em Josie?. Naw. Buzzards gotta eat, same as the worms.”

    We’uns owt hyar in flahover kentry gots coyotes too. Jes drap ’em owf in th woods…

    Does this mean it’s asteroid time?

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  4. Me: I’m not dead yet, I think I’ll go for a walk.
    My wife: Well you will be soon enough, can I get some help over here.

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  5. Doesn’t the last name of Spade seem to be eerily ironic and creepy for the woman whose last name is Spade that is proposing the composting of human bodies? And the next thing I thought of is the scene in Monty Python And The Holy Grail where the peasants are collecting the bodies of dead people who died from the plague yelling “Bring out your dead, bring out your dead.” Why do we collect and attract such dumb shits in Washington State? You would’ve thought Oregon or California would’ve thought of it first. There’s a reason why we’re sneeringly referred to as Ecotopia at times. If you’ve ever heard the Riders In The Sky song Reincarnation sung by Too Slim (AKA Sidemeat, the sidekick) written by a cowboy poet you’ll get my drift. where they plant some poor dead cowpoke in the ground and he comes back as fertilizer.

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  6. Next they’ll be embalming their loved departed in peanut butter. It accelerates the transformation into coyote poo. Saw that on an Homicide Hunter episode. According to Joe Kenda it’s a favorite technique used by the drug cartel when they want to quickly dispose of a body – the peanut butter attracts coyotes & other meat eating critters and they quickly transform the evidence of their crime into animal poo.

    Then there’s the Buddhist tradition in Tibet where they feed the bodies of their departed to vultures on the summit of a mountain. Going the extra step of breaking open the bones so the birds can get to the marrow.

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  7. Before that happens in California, there will have to be a $1000 tax per customer

    A joyus New Year to all!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  8. Oh compost me not in a big old vat,
    Don’t pulverize me into gooey fat.
    They say my remains must be proper and green,
    Something useful for all and their utopian dream.

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  9. Lazlo likes this!
    Hell, grind me up and fertilize apple trees.
    Make hard cider from those apples
    Then feed the dropped and fermented apples to a herd of pigs.
    Then trim all the apple trees of dead branches and use that apple wood to smoke delicious drunk-ass bacon
    And drink cider
    And sing the Bacon Anthem and remember me
    (I’m not sure if there is a Bacon Anthem, but there damn well should be)

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  10. I’m not going for it. I know liberal fertilizer would surely phuck up my little tomato, lettuce, cucumber, pepper, and egg plant patch. I’ve had great success with cow shit, chicken shit, fish heads, and coffee grinds these passed 40 years.

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  11. I wonder how soon we’d be hearing of new cases of salmonella and outbreaks of E coli poisoning the food system from using dead bodies as fertilizer? Sort of like the chinks using human waste (night soil) to compost their fields. YUCK! Watch out where the dead bodies go, don’t you eat what’s left of that dead brown fellow, with apologies to Frank Zappa.

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  12. Honestly? I don’t want to eat a salad or bake an apple pie from produce that I know has been grown in human remains fertilizer. It’s just creepy, and it’s another way of degrading the sanctity of human life IMO.

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  13. The state of Wisconsin had a big problem with Chronic Wasting Disease. They told us hunters to drop off the deer we didn’t want at the tow away dumpster stations. It was an awful sight…

    Then they put all the deer through wood chippers and mulched them, spreading them as fertilizer.

    Then they discovered the disease was characterized by prions that never died… zombie prions if you will. That they just spewed all over the Wisconsin countryside.

    Oops.

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  14. And so the slow desensitization of cannibalism continues…

    Human based fertilizer, first used on grass, quickly begins to be used on crops, people begin to get a taste for human flesh. Life expectancy for the average schmuck lowers dramatically due to disease, and all because some sicko leftist pervert rich bitch secretly wanted to be a cannibal.

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  15. Insert your favorite cannibal joke here. Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his grandmother in the woods. What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? He wiped. Why don’t cannibals eat Pentecostals? They keep throwing up their hands I’ve got a lot of them, I love cannibal jokes.

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  16. REINCARNATION
    by Wallace McRae

    “What does Reincarnation mean?”
    A cowpoke asked his friend.
    His pal replied, “It happens when
    Yer life has reached its end.
    They comb yer hair, and warsh yer neck,
    And clean yer fingernails,
    And lay you in a padded box
    Away from life’s travails.”

    “The box and you goes in a hole,
    That’s been dug into the ground.
    Reincarnation starts in when
    Yore planted ‘neath a mound.
    Them clods melt down, just like yer box,
    And you who is inside.
    And then yore just beginnin’ on
    Yer transformation ride.”

    “In a while, the grass’ll grow
    Upon yer rendered mound.
    Till some day on yer moldered grave
    A lonely flower is found.
    And say a hoss should wander by
    And graze upon this flower
    That once wuz you, but now’s become
    Yer vegetative bower.”

    “The posy that the hoss done ate
    Up, with his other feed,
    Makes bone, and fat, and muscle
    Essential to the steed,
    But some is left that he can’t use
    And so it passes through,
    And finally lays upon the ground
    This thing, that once wuz you.”

    “Then say, by chance, I wanders by
    And sees this upon the ground,
    And I ponders, and I wonders at,
    This object that I found.
    I thinks of reincarnation,
    Of life and death, and such,
    And come away concludin’: ‘Slim,
    You ain’t changed, all that much.’”

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  17. Sounds like the very first episode of the 2002 Twighlight Zone series called “Evergreen.”
    ‘The family of a rebellious teenager (Amber Tamblyn) moves to a gated community which has a unique and grisly way of dealing with troubled youth.’

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