Update – Last Chance For Contest (with prize) – CNN Chyron

RacKAttacK inspired this idea –

For the love of Pete, I made the mistake of watching CNN tonight. My horrible dish package makes me subsidize CNN, so I thought I would endure a bit.
Don and Chris are particularly a dynamic duo of dipshittery.
“Last year 78% of 50 people killed was because of white extremism. So it’s about 37. Imagine if it were all in one event. God forbid, imagine if I were covering that, if I were standing in front of that place, right now, somewhere here in America. Would that make a difference politically? See, that’s part of the mix here. President that ignores the problem, doesn’t help.” -Chris Cuomo

What was their chyron?

TRUMP DOESN’T SEE WHITE NATIONALISM AS A GLOBAL THREAT

37 people killed is a “global threat.” Islamic Jihad? Not so much.

I’m thinking a good contest would be to write a ridiculous CNN chyron like-
“RACE WAR IS FINALLY UNDERWAY! HOW DID TRUMP START THIS?”
or
“IF A TREE FALLS IN THE WOODS, DOES TRUMP STILL ENDORSE GLOBAL WHITE NATIONALISM?”
For an added dimension, the asshats could be saying something that makes it more absurd, hypocritical, or whatever.
You get the idea.
-RacKAttacK
~~~~~~~~~~~~ snip~~~~~~~~~
So, that’s our contest ~~~~~~~~~~ >What’s On the Chyron?
This is a tough one because it’s hard to parody an outlet as asinine as CNN. But you guys are good.
Winner (judged by MJA) will receive a lovely Trump Magnet, designed and produced by one of our readers (who may reveal himself in the comments) and modeled by our bud Laura Loomer and a headless BFH.
Contest ends 8pm et Tuesday.
Trump Truck Magnet

162 Comments on Update – Last Chance For Contest (with prize) – CNN Chyron

  1. “white extremism”????? Just what the fook is THAT? I don’t even know what that means…. is that like the smussie jollett attack?
    THIS WEB SUCK
    “Speaking the truth in times of universal deceit is a revolutionary act.” Geo. Orwell

    Edit: Now that I looked up chyron, how about, “kucks both”

    7
  2. Trump’s white patriarchal cisgenderism responsible for global warming results in genocide of people of color.

    Oh, and THIS WEB SUCK

    18
  3. BREAKING MUSLIM STUBS TOE IN MECCA BLAMES TRUMP WORLDWIDE CALLS FOR TRUMPS ARREST FOR THIS WAR CRIME HOUSE INVESTIGATING CALLS FOR IMPEACHMENT GROWING

    25
  4. BREAKING NEWS BIPARISAN PANEL CONSISTING OF HILLARY CLINTON BARACK OBAMA MITT ROMNEY AND JOHN MCCAINS CORPSE CALL FOR IMMEDIATE TRUMP RESIGNATION ON THE GROUNDS THAT HE’S A BIG DOODY HEAD

    16
  5. >insert anxiety music
    Breaking News: Unconfirmed sources verify off the record that anticipated reports are expected to be uncovered soon.
    >increase anxiety music tempo
    Stay tuned for this momentous event. Do not read the reports- that is illegal, and we will do it for you.
    /music
    >cut to blood pressure medication commercial

    8
  6. “RACHAEL MADDOW GIVES BIRTH TO AN ILLEGAL ALIEN NAMED JOSE, FATHERED BY A TURKEY BASTER NAMED…$2.99…..”….

    39
  7. BREAKING NEWS: NOBODY’S READING THIS ANYWAY AND I JUST GOT HIRED TO RUN THE CHYRON FOR FOX AND FRIENDS SO LET ME TELL THE WORLD WHAT AN ASS DON LEMON REALLY IS…

    17
  8. House members on hands and knees.
    Pelosi’s dentures fall out, can’t be found.
    Pelosi: “who thought they would bounce like that?”

    7
  9. GUN GOES OFF KILLING 69 INNOCENT PEOPLE….SHOOTER SAYS NONE OF HIS 23 GENDERS KNOW WHAT HAPPENED….

    14
  10. “BREAKING NEWS: TRUMP AND KIM JONG-UN SIGN HISTORIC PEACE TREATY ENDING KOREAN WAR. OBAMA GIVEN SECOND NOBEL PEACE PRIZE FOR LAYING THE GROUNDWORK”

    34
  11. CHUCK SCHUMER AND ILHAN OMAR TO STAR IN KNIFE THROWING VEGAS ACT TO BENEFIT DISPLACED PALESTINIANS….

    7
  12. The Archduke Francis Ferdinand was assassinated today because of Trump’s lax gun laws. Trump blamed for starting World War I

    14
  13. BREAKING: TRUMP SUPPORTERS NOT TIRED OF WINNING – TDS MEDICATION SUPPLIES RUNNING LOW – CNN AND NYT HARDEST HIT.

    15
  14. SCIENTISTS CONFIRM THAT THE SWOOP OF TRUMP’S HAIR AND ITS GOLDEN COLOR REFLECT SUN RAYS AND CONTRIBUTES TO GLOBAL WARMING-TRUMP DENIES!

    10
  15. “The most dangerous people in the world are white males.” So say’s Don Lemon of CNN, the worst reporter in the world. Meanwhile Don is being banged in the ass every night by his white male companion.
    I don’t know how that arrangement operates, do they take turns?
    Just askin’. Not that I GAF!

    10
  16. “AVA GABOR (LISA DOUGLAS) RENOUNCES HER HOOTERVILLE CITIZENSHIP. MR. HANEY INVITES ARNOLD ZIFFEL OVER FOR A BARBEQUE AND GIVES HIM A MERITT BADGE FOR BEING ON THE SKEWER”….

    10
  17. BREAKING. you heard it first on CNN.

    Planned Parenthood exonerated. 98% of the abortions they are blamed for are actually spontaneous abortions caused by Trump.

    6
  18. Global warming known for causing acts of terrorism has recently been blamed for an increase in white supremacism. Racist Donald Trump pulled out of the Paris accords

    5
  19. THE ACADEMY OF ARTS & SCIENCES ANNOUNCED TODAY THAT THE COWARDLY LION IN ‘THE WIZARD OF OZ’ HAS BEEN EDITED FROM THE CLASSIC FILM BECAUSE TRUMP IS OFTEN REFERRED TO AS “THE LION” BY HIS SUPPORTERS.

    13
  20. Don Lemon claims he’s a potential victim of gay and racist slurs because nobody cares about either. Says it’s Trump’s fault

    3
  21. Alan Krueger, a Princeton University economist who was blamed for obamanomics committed suicide today. Trump’s economy at fault

    14
  22. TRUMP RELEASES 20,000 PAGES OF TAX RECORDS ON MICROFICHE. DEMOCRATS WILL SCRUTINIZE ONCE MICROFICHE MACHINE AND OPERATOR FOUND.

    10
  23. TRUMP BROKERS WORLDWIDE NUCLEAR DISARMAMENT TREATY IS KIND OF BORING SO INSTEAD WE ARE BRINGING YOU 3 HOURS OF ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ’S ECONOMIC THEORIES AS BETO O’ROURKE WAVES HIS ARMS TO EMPHASIZE HER MORE LUDICROUS POINTS

    11
  24. “OCCASIONALLY WE REPORT THE REAL NEWS, SOMETIMES WE DON”T, BUT WE ALWAYS EAT A HAM SANDWICH, POSE FOR PHOTOS AND THINK ABOUT THE “MIRACLE FINGERS” IN THE MATTRESS NEXT TO MISS TRIXIE AT THE MOTEL

    4
  25. Lemon: “We need to not pay attention to the trolls. It makes them think they are better than CNN, the greatest news channel on all cable news.”

    chyron: “THIS WEB SUCK”

    6
  26. GOD, I CANT TELL YOU HOW MUCH I HATE THAT LEMON GUY. HE ACTUALLY TRIED TO TOUCH MY…WHAT? WHAT’S A CHYRON? IT DOES WHAT?!? AND IT HAS SPEECH-TO-TEXT, TOO? OH, SHIT, I AM SO FIRED..

    14
  27. 37 people is a global threat? but thousands of illegals killing citizens is no big deal and we don’t need a wall or an emergency…

    wow thats stupid. layers of stupid.

    6
  28. CNN ANCHORS PRACTICING LOOKING FOR AN HONEST MAN. DEMOCRAT MEMBERS OF CONGRESS UNAVAILABLE FOR COMMENT.

    4
  29. Trump incites the death of 37 potential Socialist Democrat voters. Russia also suspected of collaboration in this voter suppression.

    5
  30. CNN formally rejects any attempt at reporting news. CNN will now be all anti-Trump all of the time.

    4
  31. Breaking News! Trump’s election delayed 2nd coming of Christ – rapture may be extended to beyond 2020…

    5
  32. Breaking: No Fake Trump news too see tonight, back to you Don, Just coming in Chris,Trump eats Lucky Charms before he meets with Kim.

    5
  33. “Breaking News! Trump’s election delayed 2nd coming of Christ…”
    *like CNN would ever use the name of Christ in any way but in vain, @The Gunny…*

    5
  34. “CNN formally rejects any attempt at reporting news. CNN will now be all anti-Trump all of the time.”

    …I think that became their mission statement in 2016, @Wyatt, Insensitive Progressive Jerk, so not “news” now…ooooh, yeah, CNN, so no news, NOW i get it…

    2
  35. “This space for rent…call 1-800-CNN-SUCKS…cisgender straight white Christian males need not apply”

    6
  36. George Soros is the Kindest, Bravest, Warmest, Most Wonderful Human Being we’ve ever known in our life.

    12
  37. Trump cures Cancer thousands of doctors and nurse lose their jobs AMA and American civil liberties plan lawsuits!

    5
  38. @ supernightshade TRUMP BROKERS WORLDWIDE NUCLEAR DISARMAMENT TREATY IS KIND OF BORING SO INSTEAD WE ARE BRINGING YOU 3 HOURS OF ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ’S ECONOMIC THEORIES AS BETO O’ROURKE WAVES HIS ARMS TO EMPHASIZE HER MORE LUDICROUS POINTS
    CNN headline thousands of defense workers in fear of losing their jobs blame Trump

    3
  39. PRESIDENT TRUMP’S RACIST VIEWPOINT INFLUENCES THE FIRST LADY’S FASHION CHOICES. MELANIA TRUMP CONFIRMS SHE SUGGESTS WEARING WINTER WHITE ALL YEAR LONG.

    4
  40. THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE AT TRUMP 2020 RALLIES ARE BLAMED FOR A SERIES OF EARTHQUAKES ALONG SAN ANDREAS FAULT LEADING SCIENTISTS TO FEAR CALIFORNIA WILL FALL INTO THE OCEAN.

    8
  41. GAVIN NEWSOM RENAMES JOHN WAYNE AIRPORT PANCHO VILLA AIRPORT ALLOWING ILLEGAL ALIENS TO FLY IN CARGO HOLDS UNDER NEW SANCTUARY LAWS….

    9
  42. MRS BUTTERWORTH FILES COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT SUIT AGAINST STACEY ABRAMS FOR LOOKING TOO MUCH LIKE THEIR BOTTLES….

    10
  43. “TRUMP BUILDS BORDER WALL WITHOUT MEXICAN FUNDS – ACCUSED OF LYING TO SUPPORTERS AND WORSENING BUDGET DEFICIT”

    5
  44. “TRUMP INITIATIVE PERFECTS COLD FUSION – TRUMP ACCUSED OF DELIBERATELY UPSETTING GLOBAL THERMAL BALANCE AND PROMOTING OVERPOPULATION. UNION OF CONCERNED SCIENTISTS APOPLECTIC”

    4
  45. Breaking! Vehicle displaying “TRUMP – Elect that MF’f again! 2020” seen daily on five SoCal Freeways during morning & evening commute.

    7
  46. “ASTEROID PULLED FROM ORBIT, STRIKES EARTH – MANY THOUSANDS KILLED! TRUMP’S HAIR BLAMED”

    3
  47. “BANANA COSTUME CLAD TUCKER CARLSON PROTESTERS SLIP ON THEIR COSTUMES AND FALL. THREE SUFFER LIFE THREATENING CONCUSSIONS, FOUR SUFFER BROKEN WRISTS! TRUMP BLAMED FOR ENABLING CARLSON”

    2
  48. The Florida Legislature is in town. Tallahassee billboards are proclaiming ABORTION IS HEALTHCARE.
    What idiots.

    6
  49. Anderson Cooper and Don Lemon caught handing Donna Brazil answers to the Price is Right. Donna tweets- “those pretty boys were making more than me, I’m never going back.”

    2
  50. DONNA BRAZILE THREATENS TO SHOW HER BIKINI WAX ON FOX TV….WILLY NELSON DENIES HE WAS PHOTOSHOPPED IN….

    1
  51. “If that fcuking bastard wins, we all hang from NOOSES” –

    h/t – Hillary Rotten Clinton

    4
  52. “Breaking News:” ‘Green New Deal’ not about saving earth – it’s about scoring weed and getting stoned.”

    2
  53. Trump stirs radical violence while waiting to be impeached madman in the Whitehouse while public looks toward AOC for help where is Obama with his pallets of cash

    2
  54. Breaking

    CHALUPA UNDER FIRE FROM JAKE TAPPER FOR BARRAGE OF BUTT-HURTFUL FAUX CHYRONS

    BFH VOWS NOT TO DELETE

    9
  55. BREAKING NEWS: Jeff Zucker starts go fund me page. Claims divorce combined with Sandstrom lawsuit will bankrupt him. Anderson Cooper tweets “my last check bounced, I’m gonna have to move into the situation room with Wolff.”

    4
  56. NEVER TRUMPERS AND FAKE NEWS HOSTS DECLARE END TO CAMPAIGN AGAINST PRESIDENT TRUMP . THEY ARE IMMEDIATELY SIGNED BY FOX NEWS.

    4
  57. Breaking: AOC & Beto announce co-presidency. “Two for the price of two. If Trump can give his salary away, we can do this, and reduce our workload, too.”

    1
  58. Elizabeth Warren gathers all the tribes of the northern plains Indians to form council. Demands meeting with Trump at Little Big Horn.

    2
  59. In run up to the 2020 election Jeb Bush accused of doping. The hapless candidate claimed “they were only energy drinks”.

    2
  60. Breaking News: CNN wins award from The Orwell Society for producing Orwell’s 1984 novel’s Two Minute Hate on cable news 24/7/365. The Society states that even Orwell couldn’t have envisioned such an achievement. All prize money will be donated to the DNC.

    1

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