The Federalist: In a new ad, Jared the Galleria of Diamonds urges women to “Dare to ask.” The ask in question is a marriage proposal. In the 15-second ad, a woman drops to one knee before her man on a fancy balcony and presents a ring that he accepts, then displays to a crowded restaurant.
I get the idea here. But, honestly, no. Just no.
Men should propose to women, not the other way around. I know that’s controversial in 2018, and I do not hold cheap the marriages that no doubt exist in which some young woman summoned her inner Bette Davis and popped the question. But there really are good, sound, and sensible reasons this tradition exists.
Before getting into those reasons, let’s get something out of the way. Yes, the practice of men asking women to marry them is rooted in a dark past in which women were sometimes viewed as not much more than property to be bartered for kingdoms, fortunes, or cows. But every custom that exists in our culture, every norm, was crafted in the crucible of unimaginable bigotry, violence, and cruelty. That doesn’t mean they all deserve the dustbin.
Before progressives start throwing tomatoes at me and yelling about equality, let me bring up a word they often use: consent. There was a time, and it wasn’t that long ago, when sex before marriage was considered, well, bad. In no small way, historically, when a man asks a woman to marry him, he is asking if he can have sex with her. This ritual, this rite of passage for consent is a powerful symbol for young men.
The cultural norm that it is the man who asks to engage in courtship is an important one. It teaches men that a woman’s consent is more important than his desires. It places immeasurable value on the word “yes,” as in “she said yes.” With all due respect to the ad copy guys at Jared’s agency, I’m not sure they understand what cultural forces they are playing with in attempting to upend that to sell a few rings. Now that I mention it: if a man isn’t a member of the Rat Pack or Rudy Giuliani, wearing a diamond ring is a little weird. more here
A word of advice to the men: If you turn her down, protect your balls. 🤣