Don’t faint! It’s the Babylon Bee – Disney is buying the intellectual property rights to the Bible for $7.02 billion from its Author. In a statement announcing the purchase, Disney said it planned to release a major Bible sequel in 2020 The Christ Awakens, kicking off a big-budget trilogy.
That exciting new franchise launch will be followed by around 36 more planned sequels, reboots, remakes, and spin-offs, the company said. While some of the stories will follow the overarching plot of God establishing his Kingdom, other stories will be offshoots of characters and worlds within the biblical narrative such as Shamgar: A Judges Story, Rise of Habakkuk, Song of Solomon 2: Gaza Heat, and Dirty Job, a gritty follow up to the book of Job starring Mike Rowe.
EDIT: Babylon Bee is a PARODY site.