Doctors warning people NOT to follow an internet hemorrhoid cure involving potatoes

Here’s another “genius” health tip from the Internet that’s forced doctors to intervene.

h/t Nik DiPaolo.


49 Comments on Doctors warning people NOT to follow an internet hemorrhoid cure involving potatoes

  1. MJA, some headlines say everything that needs to be said. You get the picture without reading anymore. I’m going to assume this is one those and not click on the story.

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  2. Psst! The best way to cure yourself of his and her roids is to use a soldering iron. Pass this along to your liberal friends. I’m betting some have already tried this.

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  3. Seems to me if you were suffering with hemorrhoids that a vasoconstrictor would help shrink those distended blood vessels. Pseudoephedrine might do the trick. Go knock on the single-wide door of your friendly neighborhood meth chef and ask if he has any to spare. That may be less dangerous than shoving a spud up your butt, but maybe not.

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  4. Doctors shouldn’t be intervening, the same way we shouldn’t have warning labels. Just let the stupid people die. I doubt sticking a potato slice up your butt will kill you, but you know a person stupid enough to stick a potato up their butt will eventually do something stupid enough to kill them.

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  5. Uncle Al
    FEBRUARY 27, 2020 AT 12:05 AM
    “Seems to me if you were suffering with hemorrhoids that a vasoconstrictor would help shrink those distended blood vessels. Pseudoephedrine might do the trick. Go knock on the single-wide door of your friendly neighborhood meth chef and ask if he has any to spare. ”

    …knocking on the trailer door of a meth dealer will definitely make your butt pucker up when he answers it with a .357 hogleg, since such folk are generally pretty touchy about unscheduled guests.

    This SHOULD make the blood pull back from your pehipheral circulatory system.

    …vasoconstrictive, indeed…

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  6. Mrs radiomattm
    FEBRUARY 27, 2020 AT 1:06 AM
    “Just when I think people couldn’t be any stupider…”

    …There is NO limit to human stupidity.

    That’s how Democrats continue to exist…

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  7. I just don’t get it. My general practitioner’s finger once per year is enough to convince me that the butt hole is designed as an exit only.

    Have a doctor friend who worked in the emergency room and a damnable tool box full of tools was his trophy extraction.

    He said: it’s was a shitty job, but somebody had to do it. To which I said: what ever happened to – you got it in there, you get it out!

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  8. It’s a well-known fact that the human anus can stretch nearly seven inches in width before suffering damage. Start with lemons and work up to grapefruits.

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  9. Mayor Pete: “I’m not buying it, I’ve been through the entire produce section at the grocery store and nothing else has worked.”

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  10. When I wuz a kid shoving a spud up the tailpipe usually resulted in a pissed off car owner that couldn’t ge his car running!

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  11. Hemorrhoids is my version of menstruation (then I get to flip around!).
    A badge of honor!
    Down with the Sistahood, and all that!

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  12. This Spuds for you. Does it also work for people who are chronic farters when they shove a spud up their ass to keep their farts from leaking out. I wouldn’t want to be behind that person when that spud goes ballistic. THAR SHE BLOWS! Couch potatoes must really love this.

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  13. Use a bidet, quit buying bread with unground stuff in/on it – it comes out like coarse sand. Whole wheat can have the wheat germ and bran w/o the unground bits – the bakers add that because people expect it, not because it’s a good idea – if you must eat unground stuff, chew VERY thoroughly – and that still won’t do it.

    bottle bidet – https://www.yippy.com/ysa/cgi-bin/query-meta?v%3aproject=yippy-com-images&v%3asources=yippy-images&query=bottle%20bidet&

    relieved my itching problem in days. If you are wiping hard enough to see blood, you risk infection.

    Would you clean poop off of anything else by wiping it with tissue paper?

    You’re welcome

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  14. bottle bidets cost ~ 12$, will pay for itself soon, and doesn’t have the risk of plumbing leaks that a toilet mounted unit would – plumber here.

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