In the six weeks since a multiracial group of Minnesota cops killed George Floyd, America has learned all sorts of things about what caused the crime. It wasn’t just those cops’ fault, you see. It wasn’t just the responsibility of the city of Minneapolis or even the state of Minnesota. As it turns out, every white person in the world is responsible for Floyd’s death. That’s why we now need to tear down any statue of any historical figure who was Caucasian, even the guy who signed the Emancipation Proclamation. That’s why any white person who voices a black character on a cartoon show needs to step aside now. That’s why we need to expunge that episode of The Golden Girls where they wore mud masks and the dumb one said, “We’re not really black.” All of those things are racist. All of those things made those cops kill that guy.
And we’re just getting started. Everything that white people enjoy is racist, because they’re white people. Even going to national parks is racist now, because most of the people who go to national parks are white.