Patriot Retort: When I was a kid, I got super angry at my big brother for some reason. Since big brothers are genetically programmed to be mean to their little sisters, my brother Mark had been tormenting me about something. And I had had enough. So I wrote on a piece of paper “Mark is a FAG.”
I’d like to think my writing skills have improved since then. But this was when I was little and the “rapier wit” gene had yet to kick in.
The long and short of it is, I got in trouble for writing “Mark is a FAG” on a piece of paper because, according to my Mom, that was a dirty word.
Which was news to me. Boys at school called each other “fag” as an insult, so I thought, “why not?” I didn’t even know what it meant.
Sadly, because of this incident from my childhood, I will never be allowed to host the Oscars, land a job in Big Tech, be nominated for the Supreme Court, or, apparently, win a Heisman trophy.
Of course, my lack of football skills and advanced age probably have a little something to do with that as well.
But what really takes me out of the running for the Heisman is writing “Mark is a FAG” on a piece of paper over forty years ago.
At least that’s what USA Today writer Scott Gleason thinks.
Oklahoma Sooners quarterback Kyler Murray is this year’s Heisman Trophy winner.
And before the young man could even come down from the thrilling rush of the win, USA Today’s Gleason got hold of some tweets he wrote when he was fifteen that used an “anti-gay slur.”
And not just once! He used an “anti-gay slur” four times. Four times!