Food Rant

Okay, you bastiges.

I read on this site about a “must-have mayo.”

Duke mayo.

Let me warn you, I am a mayo snob. The sun sets on Hellman’s. Don’t even try to peddle any Miracle Whip at me. No Kraft anything.

So I’m walking down a supermarket aisle and see a jar of this Duke’s. I’m making the cheese face. I’m looking at the price. 3 fitty. It better be good.

I take it home.

Uhhh. It’s not good.




It’s actually much better than Hellman’s.

Denser, creamier…

Okay, errybody is off the hook. Not like the kids say it. Like, you’re not in any trouble for peddling your mayo.

Carry on.

76 Comments on Food Rant

  1. Duke’s is SO good! Glad you like it. But I have never, ever like Miracle Whip, even though my mother-in-law swore by it, too.

  2. Duke’s Mayonnaise. Sounds racist as all hell.

    JK. I only use mayonnaise about once a year in the occasional recipe which calls for it, and I will spend a little extra for that tiny jar of Dukes. Even though I toss the jar after I get the three tablespoons I need for the recipe.

  3. Let’s not oversell it to anyone that hasn’t tried it.
    But it’ll give you an erection.
    Even if you’re a girl.

  4. I LOVE Duke’s and my husband won’t touch anything else! I have to have an extra jar in the pantry at all times. So glad you love it.

  5. Not into the Miracle Whip, only because it’s supposed to be what replaces my preferred mayo.

    If I didn’t know about Hellman’s (Best Foods), and now Duke’s, Miracle Whip would be okay, I guess.

  6. Used Helmann’s most of my life, moved to The South 15 years ago. Duke’s is the Mayo of the South.

    I like Miracle Hwip now.

  7. So is this like John Wayne’s TP.
    It not a sandwich with out it,or is it.
    We need a contest with a free jar of Duke’s or for us on the West Coast, Best Foods.
    I will send the Best Foods to Mr. Hat and then he can send them both out and someone can be the judge.
    Who makes the best sandwich here.

  8. @B_B Ask Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, I think she uses it for a hair conditioner.
    Heh, a weapon and now Duke’s, you really are embracing your Bubba Fur side.

  9. Now you need to try Kewpie, Japanese mayo. Made with rice and malt vinegar instead of white.

    And spicy mayo.. add sriracha to your Duke’s.

    Then you need to pickle your own red onion. With a good mayo selection you now have a killer condiment base for your sandwich.

  10. Loco…….once you try it, you’ll never go back…..there’s a familiar saying in there somewhere.

    After I lather it on my sammiches and burgers, I always take a little dab on the end of the knife. It’s that good.

  11. Started using avocado mayo. Now I have to try Duke’s. I have been an only Hellman’s girl, but I’d like to know what BFH said.

  12. Umm Miracle Whip is not mayo.

    Maybe that’s why you don’t like it.

    As for the eye rolling at it being called salad dressing – that would be POTATO salad, morons.

    The only surprise here is people professing in public their love for mayo. I keep hearing very disparaging things from non-Mayo-using people. Tends to keep the expression of love for it down in public. I like them all but can live without them all, too.

    We only used Miracle Whip when the kids grew up. Then oldest discovered actual Mayo. Never went back. “Too sweet”

  13. I’ve never seen Duke’s anywhere ever.

    Doubt it’s sold around here but I’ll certainly look for it now.

  14. Just wait until July when you you pick your first ruby red German Johnson tomato from your vine, cook up some thick sliced bacon (in the oven at 350 on parchment paper) , toast up your favorite bread, then smear it with Dukes mayo. Lettuce optional, but preferred.

    There is nothing better. It’s enough to turn a muzzie into a baptist.

  15. Dang. Just looked at where it’s sold.

    It’s all around my area. I must be passing it right over out of ignorance. Certainly going to try it.

  16. Returning warriors were on a Walking Off the War hike on the Appalachian trail. Concretebob made the pulled pork. I made 20 pounds of potato salad using Duke’s. Both were appreciated greatly.

  17. Well, hell. I’d have to drive 210 miles to buy a jar. One of the challenges of the frontier: “Nope. Can’t buy that here.”

  18. I’ve heard of this before, but could only get it at Amazon.

    Now Walmart carries it on their website. $3.48 and free shipping to your store for pickup. Mine will be here in a few days.

  19. Thanks PHenry.
    Am trying to stay away from soy, but even Hellmans has soy. That stuff is inflamatory. I long for the good old days when foods didn’t have soy. That’s why I started to use avacado mayo, but it isn’t easy to get.

  20. When I was in the supermarket last week, I saw a jar of mayonnaise labeled “Duke’s”. I wondered how it would taste, so I started to unscrew the lid. All of a sudden I heard a deep voice that said,

    “Whoa, take ‘er easy there, Pilgrim.”

    Spooked me. I put it back.


  21. I use different mayos for different foods so
    I keep about three types around all the time. I
    am pretty sure Duke’s is not available here. I’ll
    look at some of the more diverse stores though, I’d
    like to try it.

  22. My main reason to use Duke’s – no sugar. Plus, it is better. I was a Hellman’s fan forever until I found it. Glad to know other converts 🙂

  23. It begins with Duke’s, next y’all will be eating boiled peanuts and buying pickemup trucks.
    The South Shall Rise Again

  24. There are 2 distinct classes of “nnaises”:Most mayos fall into the first category known as “MAN-NAISE”. The second classification,known as “GAY-O-NNAISE”, has only one brand: Miracle Whip!

  25. I used to make my own mayo when I was younger, but now I just use Hellman’s
    Hate MW.
    I was told the the Mayo Clinic was where they developed different mayo’s
    I was 8 so it sounded good to me.

  26. You mean there are other kinds of mayo? Duke’s is the only one I have ever bought, and I keep a spare jar, just in case.

  27. My son loves Miracle Whip and my oldest daughter hates mayonnaise, she says that it’s from the Devil. And this from the kid who put ketchup on her eggs when she was a kid. I like the olive oil mayo and just saw for the first time last week when I was grocery shopping avocado mayo, I may have to try it.

  28. Miracle Whip niche. I like both
    Dukes and Hellman’s BUT when it
    comes to Chicken Sandwiches only
    Miracle Whip will do. Add a few
    sweet pickle slices with it and it’s
    chicken sandwich heaven.

  29. Moved to the low country 3 years ago from a 50 year trek south from Long Island. Found bbq and Dukes. I even catch shrimp when the tides change now so the Bronx is up and the Battery’s down…

  30. I may try it but if it doesn’t measure up to Cain’s Mayonnaise I’ll put it an envelopes and mail it to everyone here who recommended it.

    Try Cain’s Sweet Pepper Relish if you can find it in your area. It’s pricey but the best, in my opinionated opinion.

  31. “Mayonnaise fears the cold.”
    (dead white French food-writer woman)

    You know what they make mayonnaise out of in Ragheadistan, don’t you?

    izlamo delenda est …

  32. Here’s another tip: Heinz mayonnaise is pretty darn good too. Haven’t tried Duke’s yet. Kroger brand used to be good for the price, but now meh.

  33. Hellman’s is Best Foods. Back East it’s Hellman’s out here it’s Best Foods just the name is different. Never heard or seen Dukes so it must b an East Coast thing. I only buy Best Foods – $2.99 when on sale. I won’t buy Heinz they’re affiliated in some way with John Kerry.

  34. P.S. For those who like Miracle Whip did you know…

    #1-Removing dead skin from the feet

    Rub a generous amount of Miracle Whip all over your feet with a soft washcloth to remove tired, dead skin. Let the miracle whip set for five minutes and rinse off with warm water. For even greater results, add Miracle Whip to a tub of hot water and soak your feet.


    Slap that on your sammich!

  35. I, too, am a mayonnaise snob. We won’t be trying Duke’s in my house. First ingredient is Soybean oil. I have a little boy. Hence, we are a soy-free household. If I don’t make it myself, we use Trader Joe’s. Pricey, but worth it.

  36. Haven’t tried Duke’s. Never seen it. But I gotta say that a true mayo snob makes his own. Try it if you have the time.


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