Freakness At The Preakness

The second race in the famed triple crown was run this week in Maryland and though none of the horses who won the Kentucky derby (the disqualified Maximum Security and the winner by objection Country House) ran, the second to last place finisher, Bodexpress stole the show by running the full race without a rider. More 

9 Comments on Freakness At The Preakness

  1. Bodexpress is just being a typical millennial by just going along with the crowd.
    No idea why or where, just go along…

    3
  2. …this reminds me of another horse tale…

    …a man once had a stallion who was bred for the track. This horse was sleek, fast, and tore up the track in training by himself, making record-setting times.

    (It could also talk, but only to its owner, so he couldn’t monetize that).

    With dollar signs in his eyes, he entered the horse in its first purse race. The horse was in the starting gate with a little filly next to him, and he was eyeing her right up to the pistol.

    The gates open, the pistol fires, and he tears up the track, but just as he’s about to cross the finish line, she gives a little whinny, and he stops dead and lets HER win.

    The owner was furious, stomped down to the stable, and dismissed the grooms so he could talk to the horse.

    “WHY’D YOU STOP?!? YOU COST ME BIG MONEY! YOU HAD IT WON!”

    Looking embarrased (for a horse), the stallion said “I was gonna win it for you, Boss, but she was SO cute and SO fine, and we was gonna hit the hay later, so when she nickered SO sweetly, I just COULDN’T take it from her…”

    The owner said “ENOUGH! The other owners SAID I should have you gelded, but I wanted you to have that spark, that drive, that will to win! But I’m TELLING you now, you’re useless like this. Perform NEXT time, or you’re getting CASTRATED!”

    He stomped off.

    Tomorrows race came, and he bet twice as much. There was the gate, the filly, the race, same thing happened. Twice as mad now, he goes back to the stable, and tells the groom to fetch the vet for a gelding, and doesn’t even discuss it with the horse.

    …weeks later, at the next race, the horse was champing at the bit. The owner asked him, “You gonna DO this for me?”

    The horse said, “yeah, boss, I don’t have them thoghts no more, I’m gonna win this and ain’t no filly gonna STOP me!”

    …they line up at the gate, and he’s COMPLETELY ignoring the fillies, no matter how much they toss their manes and tails at him. The owner’s feeling REAL good about this and triples down.

    …the race starts, the gate opens, and the horse crosses his legs and falls down, spilling his jockey and losing the race.

    …back to the stable the owner goes.

    …he says to the horse, “You’d better have a good reason THIS time, or its the GLUE factory for you.”

    The horse said, “I was gonna do it, boss, I was all charged up, I was like lighting, all them thoughts were gone, I was gonna WIN.

    …but, just as I left the gate, I heard some guy on the loudspeaker who must have noticed I was gelded yell, “AAAAND THEY’RE OFF!” to EVERYONE, and I was SO embarrassed that I crossed my legs to hide it, and that’s what happened…”

    6
  3. I wonder what happened to the jockey of the horse that Bodexpress beat? I imagine his employer did the next best thing to giving that rider a gelding.

    1

Comments are closed.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!