Grandma’s Bible

21 Comments on Grandma’s Bible

  1. I heard a version of this in the 1970’s but Grandma had tucked money in the Bible, and there was no swearing.

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  2. I don’t think I ever heard my mom let alone either one of my grandmothers use the f word ever. Both of my grandmothers died in the 1960’s and if they would’ve ever heard any of their veteran sons say that word there would’ve been hell to pay no matter how old they were. My grandfather, my dad’s dad I never heard swear except maybe to say damn or hell or g d it. And he was a tough old bird who had been a hard rock miner and farmer all his life. He probably knew all the swear words but never used them. And I only heard my dad say it once a few years ago when he was really pissed off after a drunk driver took out his back fence and never was held accountable for it. He did call me a lot of names for being stupid when I was growing up but never really swore at me which is so common nowadays as to be almost useless as a means of expressing anger and frustration over stupidity. I like it the way it used to be, we were much more civil even when angry or pissed off to one another back then, it all changed after they let lenny Bruce get away with and with the so called free speech movement which came out of Beserkley in the mid 60’s and the damned Vietnam War.

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  3. @ geoff – In case you can’t hear me I am clapping for what you said.

    My father who had been in Navy during the war and I’m sure new everything to say, never swore, nor my mother. I did not know 2 of my grandparents deceased before I was born, and other died early ’60’s. Only 1 grandmother of Irish decent which rarely if mad might call you an arse.

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  4. geoff the aardvark same with my family. You might think after spending two years in Europe during WWII they would’ve come back cussing up a storm. Nothing worse than a foul mouthed woman. No offense Marylin.

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  5. I never heard any of my grandparents even use the word “Damn” – not even once. My father used the words “Damn it” once – when getting zapped while deliberately hot wiring a 120VAC switch. Junk language didn’t exist for me as a kid. WTF is going on now? 🙂

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  6. Sorry, but that was extremely offensive. I expected him to say that when he opened the Bible there was a check for $xxx,xxx – and not “fuck you” Sighhhh…

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  7. I don’t say “fuck” – I don’t write “fuck” – I don’t … uhh … never mind …

    izlamo delenda est …

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  8. The worst my wife’s grandmother an old Norwegian lady who lived to be 96 ever swore was in calling my former brother in law a scalawag because he got caught with a hooker. He deserved to be called far worse which the rest of the family did.

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  9. I heard my mother say “damn” two or three times, which usually meant you would have been safer walking around the streets of Chernobyl than you would have been in her presence. Otherwise you knew you were in deep trouble if she said “Thank you, Margret Truman.” I still have no idea what that means.

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  10. Harry Truman’s daughter Margaret was once criticized publicly by a music critic and Harry went ballistic on him telling him that if was up to him the critic would need to wear a truss after he finished kicking him in the nuts, true story.

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  11. @ anonymous – I must of missed something, why would I be offended..
    and elderly grandmother that said arse/ass once in a blue moon, sometimes in gaelic I don’t consider foul mouthed. More like amusing. Great woman, worked her fingers to the bone, raising 4 kids thru depression when her young husband of 30 died of pneumonia and never remarried.
    No offense taken.

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  12. Sometimes this kind of comedy, a joke based on the comedian’s mindset is funny, but in this case – No. Being offensive for the sake of it is just annoying.

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  13. The funny is precisely because during the entire joke you think it is going to the expected ending, that she had the money in it the entire time.

    And it is jarring… yes.

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  14. I got my ass whipped once for saying “crud.”
    To this day I don’t know why.
    My Dad’s dead so I can’t ask him.
    One of those weird mysteries of life.

    izlamo delenda est …

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  15. My grandfather swore up and down, left and right. He was loud and bellowed every day.
    My favorite line is/was “If you don’t get to moving I’m going to put my foot up your ass”.
    He taught me more about being a man than any other male figure in my family.
    He may have yelled and hollered all of the time and struck fear into most – but he had a heart of gold.

    I better stop now, someone walked through with onions.

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