Has Anyone Done This?

Photo taken in Decatur, Alabama
by Richard Guy

“If this was in your front yard[,] you might be a redneck”

h/t Dadof4

50 Comments on Has Anyone Done This?

  1. I would do that in a second, if I lived in the burbs. I live out in the sticks, the gardens are off to the side so they dont spoil the view of my pond.

  2. There is nothing better than sweet corn on the cob this time of the year. It’s one of the best things about Summer.

  3. With all the hoarding that went on I’m surprised more people haven’t. Dinner and bum wipe in one plant.

  4. I rented the ground floor of a house in a small city(75000),the guy that lived upstairs planted the whole front yard, half corn,half sun flowers.

  5. My whole front yard is corn. About 200 acres of it. I’m not a farmer but grateful one bought the whole development so it wouldn’t become a development. Guess I’m a redneck because I like it.

  6. There’s a plot for that.

    Too late this year, but it could be a very small Field of Dreams for us…next year.

    Think about it though, for that guy/gal, that corn provides shade for light and heat load protection, privacy AND food! And a nice green front lawn to be PROUD of.

    PURE sustainability at it’s best.

    Note: The side yard is ‘covered’, with the above, as well.

    They know what they are doing…

  7. Tomatoes, pumpkins, rhubarb, strawberries, blue berries, raspberries, artichokes, hot peppers and sunflowers this season. My buddy says the front yard looks like Vietnam by August around here.

    The kids can pickup $60 – $70 any August through September evening by setting up their stand out front. If I could stop them from picking so many tomatoes their take would be even greater. Those of you who have met the crew understand that what they lack in size they make up for in energy and enthusiasm though.

    They don’t eat tomatoes and I’m so tired of them by the end of the growing season that I can’t stand another for six months.

    I didn’t get the green beans in this year. They produce by the bushel.

  8. Years ago in a town close by, a man asked the city to allow a shop on his property.(he lived on a major street through town). City said no. He said I’ll plant my entire yard in corn. They thought he was bluffing. He wasn’t. Then he went back to the city for permission. They said no again. He repainted his two-story house orange, pink, yellow, green and whatever stripes. Then he put up lights for night time enjoyment. This lasted about a year before he moved.

  9. Do it every year! Is there a problem? You see us redneck farmers pick the corn closest to the house for our mash. Then we leave outer rows for cover so the revenuers don’t catch onto us. Don’t squeal on us now!

  10. I just had a couple ears of corn with a cheeseburger. It was great. I’m thinking the guy wants a summer sun block, which corn will give him, but likes to look outside for 6 months of the year. He might be smarter than people are giving him credit for.

  11. I live in the burbs. Since our front yard is the sunniest place on the lot, my wife has given me permission to turn the whole thing into a veg garden. And no I’m not a redneck, I’m a So Cal city boy. I just love gardening.

  12. I’d live on the Moon if I could. But there’d always be that one motherfucker with a government telescope saying, “He’s smoking a cigar again!”, or, “We better tax him for that shed!”

  13. The MDDOT would send me bills for not having my moon cars insured.

    They’d send a billion dollar postage due rocket to get their 97 dollars.

    Because they ALL belong on the output side of a huge industrial mulcher.

  14. I grow the produce just so my kids see what it takes to grow food. Not that they don’t get to experience large scale ranching and farming first hand. They just spent a week watching dear ol’ dad lend a hand all day every day for a week keeping a discbine and a Haybine swather together. Even with more and more hand lines and wheel lines being replaced by pivots the workload never goes down. The cattle cannot be unattended on summer range anywhere in the west any longer without someone there with them or the wolves will run all the weight off them.

  15. @CC

    I am skeptical too. Where is the grossly overweight woman in a sack dress and tattoos on her arms?

  16. Growing things from tiny seeds is a huge gift from our creator. I find it to be miraculous.

    Atheists claim that because scientists have figured out how some of it works and that makes it non-miraculous. It’s no big deal they claim, humdrum. I don’t think science could produce even one tiny seed from scratch, put it in the ground, and let it grow into something edible. Modify seeds, yes, but not create one.

  17. TimBuktu, that reminds me of a joke I heard.

    Satan came up to God boasting that he could make man just like he did. God said for him to go ahead a try.

    Satan reached down to gather a handful of dust, and God said, “No. Create your own dust”.

  18. DH planted just two short rows of corn a few years ago. Darn animals ate off the tops. This year something wiped out half our beans, topped off our tomato plants. Raccoons like to bite into the small tomatoes without taking them off the vine. Two baby deer in our back yard last Saturday, during the day. Funny, nothing touches the zucchini. LOLOL.

    Next year it’s just going to be the farmer’s market. DH is tired of feeding the wildlife around here.

  19. Before I moved to my house the city dug a ditch for drainage along side the road and piled the earth along the property line. It’s mostly clay so a lot of weeds pop up and it has always been a pain in my ass. One year I did plant corn in it, that didn’t grow very well but the plants were about 5 feet high. Now that area is filled with arborvitaes, daylilies, a big maple tree, an apple tree and a large honeysuckle. It’s still ugly, full of weeds, and a pain in my ass, but it serves its purpose to block prying eyes.

  20. Corn here is a raccoon magnet. The bastards will pull an ear before it is ripe, take one bite and throw it on the ground and then repeat until the whole crop is on the ground.

    They learned to screw the top off my dog feed hopper last year. I woke up to a commotion and shot a big fat one right in the face with a 22 and haven’t seen them in my back yard since. If I plant corn again I am going to string some sort of noisy alarm around it.

    They don’t come back for a season after one gets shot. The damnable neighbors put out food for them and they are a first rate nuisance. They leave pretty much everything except corn alone.

  21. Veggies in the front yard, especially if it is done artistically, is very hipster/progressive. Being neither a hipster nor particularly progressive, I do admit to having planted pepper plants and herbs in my front yard for a few years.

    I had some sweet corn, many years ago, in the backyard. Raccoons stripped it bare. I trapped the raccoons, 7 over a couple of weeks, and had them gassed at the local urban wildlife office. I was coming so often, they taught me how to work the kill-box, in case no one was available.

    Exterminators successfully lobbied the state legislature to defund the urban wildlife program. You now have to pay some yokel over $100 to just dispose of an animal, double the price if they use their own traps.

    That was my most successful and satisfying garden — then I got the water bill. Never again, and water prices have more than double since then. I have tried a number of different water-saving irrigation schemes. The one for this year seems to be working, so far. We are into the 95+ with desiccating wind part of Summer, so the jury is still out.

  22. @ ACParker JULY 14, 2020 AT 1:53 AM

    “You now have to pay some yokel over $100 to just dispose of an animal”

    Drop the trap in a 32 gallon garbage can full of water. Five minutes and then shake it out of the trap before it get all stiff or you may never get it out.

  23. @ ACParker

    I have a drowning barrel for the traps. Dallas doesn’t even deal with trapped wild animals any more and you can’t relocate them without permission of the land owner you’re releasing them on. Potentially a $1,500 fine form the state if you get caught doing that.

    I have a customer with watermelons getting eaten by rats I’m going to see tomorrow. I think I’d sit out with a pellet rifle and pick them off, myself. But we’re going to see what we can do in a more passive way. First time I have this asked of me.

    When I moved to Wis in `75, there was a field of corn next to our house. That was when I found out what “field corn” was. Yuck.

    Richard sends me stuff like this all the time. He’s a good friend of mine.

  24. My house in in the woods, so I can’t grow anything, but one of my customers has a huge garden and brought me a bag of lettuce, green beans, cherry tomatoes, potatoes, green onions, and snap peas today. Dinner was nice!

  25. @ Principal Poop JULY 14, 2020 AT 2:25 AM

    Either Soda pop or cheap canned tuna.

    Soda pop is probably a better option if you don’t want to kick the neighbors’ cat’s bucket.

  26. Now is the time to plant sweet corn for a late summer harvest. Pick an early maturing variety. Kansans know.

  27. Two words for corn use after the ears are done: Corn Maze.

    Don’t like them myself but a farmer down the road has a 25 acre maze that draws bunches of people for about a month – they charge admission and sell hot and cold apple cider and snacks. Do well.

  28. Looks like a food plot to draw deer in. Must have gun ports on the front of the house. Easy picking, deer that is.

  29. Kinda funny (not really) but we feed the deer whole corn and some of it gets by them and grows in the driveway. Never grows like that – not enough soil.
    I’m in southern MO and we got rocks on top of rocks on a foundation of rocks.

    Cedars seem to like it.

    izlamo delenda est …

  30. When I had my house built the yard was all torn up from construction. The next door lesbian school teacher neighbor bitched me out asking when I was going to fix the lawn. The roof wasn’t even on the house yet. I told her I was thinking about planting sweet corn instead of grass.

    She huffed off.

  31. Hans, you can add some adrenaline to a corn maze by introducing paintball to it. I was at a local maze a few years ago and some Army Rangers from Fort Lewis came by looking for some fun. It’s a good thing all they were armed with was paintballs, even then the casualties were high.

  32. @Dadof4

    If you have a rodent problem, get a cat, honestly. The mice and rats probably won’t even come around if they know a cat is patrolling your yard.

    A few years ago some LAPD precincts had rodent problems. They went to the shelters and got some cats to live in their precincts. Problem solved.

    I once had a Tom that cleaned out a family of rats near my patio. He was so cool about it. He just observed them for a couple of days, then he went in for the kill. He’d bite their heads off and leave ’em. I guess he didn’t like the flavor, but he liked the hunt.

  33. @ TimBuktu

    One thing I learned in life – not all cats are ratters. Just a fact. Some see rats as fellow animals on the property. I had several cats that didn’t care one whit about rats when someone dumped a “troublesome” male cat on our street.

    He was gorgeous, but looked like what a cat would look like if Satan was a cat. Gorgeous, but evil looking and didn’t treat people well.

    He cleaned out every rat around. Left them half eaten on my porch, dead on top of my truck engine, and piled up next to my truck in the driveway. The other SEVEN cats did no such thing.

    As for my customer – they have no cats. So it’s not even an option.

    I have Ninja Kitty staying on my front patio and since she showed up I don’t even bother with my bait stations any more.

    She fed herself for 6 months before I knew she was abandoned. She wants nothing to do with coming in the house and I have all sorts of dead wildlife showing up there because of her.

    She’s dressed in all black, lithe, nimble, and deadly.

    She’s Ninja Kitty.

    If I knew she would stay on their property, I would use her abilities tonight.

  34. @Dadof4

    I getcha. One of the contributors on the old Anne Coulter chat room had a female cat that got up to 150 or so killed. He would report the new kill totals every month or so.

    But yeah, some cats are probably so lazy and well fed that catching dinner is not worth the effort. Those cats would rather sleep than hunt.

    But to some degree at least, just having a cat around will deter rodents if they realize a cat is in the vicinity.

  35. TimBuktu, cats are weird as hell. My son and his girlfriend have a cat, a small black cat, and it comes in to eat. Then it wants out to start killing again. That damn thing is a mass murderer. I don’t care for it, but if you have a rodent problem she is an answer to that. It is always on the hunt.


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