His Majesty


This is my kinda guy. Fed up with the stupid “better address psychos by their preferred pronoun or be expelled” nonsense, a student made the school address him as “His Majesty.”


23 Comments on His Majesty

  1. I’ve added “The Great and Power” to my pseudonym at times.

    It has a certain ring of whimsy mixed with just the right amount of raging egomaniac.

  2. Living in Washington, I run into this kinda bullshit a lot. A buddy of mine started dating this chick, and she brought her kid to a party at our house. This kid is in his early 20’s, and when I referred to him as a him, he got a little snotty and told me he identified as female.

    I told him I identify as the Emperor of Mars. “Little missy, you may address me as Your Imperial Majesty.”

    I didn’t hear any shit out of him for the rest of the night, and haven’t seen him since.

  3. My so,ution would be simply not to speak to non-binary people at all. They’re all crashing bores anyway.

    BTW, when Prince Wiliam married Kate Middleton in 2011, I found a website that had a Wedding Guest Name Generator. It gave me “Lady (my real first name here) of Yonkersbury.” Y’all can call me that because it has a nice ring to it.

  4. Great way to highlight how absurd these college policies are and clearly effective seeing how angry ze supporters become.

  5. @greetingsfromyonkers: Was (my real first name here) your parents’ first choice, or did they consider other names like (name changed to protect the innocent), or (not my real name)?

  6. Reminds me of a phone prank where a guy calls about his cable service and insists that he be called “El Conquistador”. The dunce on the other end of the line went right along with it, no questions asked.

  7. All those ignorant bastards can call me domestic terrorist; it’s already on the DOJ’s books that way.

    Great story.

  8. I worked for a doctor ages ago. He would sign things ___ ____ MD EoU, (Emperor of the Universe). We laughed about it until he got an official letter regarding his license sent to ___ ____ MD EoU. He thought that maybe he shouldn’t do that any more!

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