“How do you get a one-armed journalist out of a tree?”

“Wave to them.”

13 Comments on “How do you get a one-armed journalist out of a tree?”

  1. Cut the tree down.

    Then make lumber out of the tree and burn the journalist.

    An alternative would be to make firewood out of the tree and compost the journalist.

    (See, then you use the journalist’s compost to fertilize more trees. As a kid, I used to get five cents for each large bullhead I would catch and bring to her for just that.)

    5
  2. “Knock knock.”

    “Who’s there?”

    “Interrupting Journo.”

    “Interrup—“

    “Experts say you’re wrong.”

    11
  3. Yeah, so I guess shot him/her/it down is the wrong answer. Cut the tree down or tell it you have dirt on President Trump.

    3
  4. A Jew, a Hindu, and a journalist are traveling together when their car breaks down…

    They hike to a farmhouse and ask if they can spend the night. The farmer says sure, but I only have room for two of you in the house; one of you will have to sleep in the barn.

    They figure that’s a lot better than nothing, so they draw straws. The Hindu loses, so the other two settle down to sleep and he goes to the barn.

    In a few minutes there’s a knock at the door—-it’s the Hindu; he says, “the farmer keeps his cow in the barn and I’m not worthy to sleep there.”

    So the Jew and the journalist flip a coin…the Jew loses and heads for the barn.

    In a few minutes, there’s a knock. It’s the Jew; he says, “I know I lost fair and square, but there’s a pig in the barn. I can’t sleep with it!”

    The journalist says, “I guess I know what that means,” and heads for the barn.

    After a few minutes there’s a knock at the door…it’s the cow and pig…

    10

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