The one I used to use is: “I hate it when you open yer mouth and yer mother comes out!”
That calmed her down for about 43 years…
13
“So… Is it your time of the month?”
“I’m 60 years old you idiot!!!”
(heads off to sleep on the couch… again)
6
I used to just ignore the berating but I do remember getting a pause asking “if a tree falls in the woods and there’s nobody around is it still my fault” I don’t know if she was thinking about it or surprised I responded . but it’s peaceful now .
8
I’ve been happily married for fifty years and all I say is “ yes dear”, I never do anything but “ yes dear” shuts her up until I can leave the room, then I follow up with “ I forgot”.
11
“Have You Ever Had One Of Those Days
when Nothing Goes Right
your Wife Starts Bitchen ’bout Whatever It Was She Was Bitchen About Last Night
so You Escape Into The Bathroom
just To Sit There On Your Thrown
but After You Finish Your Buisness The Toilet Paper’s Gone”
-Thorn Paul, “It’s A Great Day (for Me To Whoop Somebody’s Ass)”
Was he making that video inside his closet with the door securely locked?
😆
10
Holy cow girl; who lit the fuse to your tampon?
3
They impress me as having had their volume knob hooked up backwards or something. I’ve never one time come across a single one that when you tell them to shut the hell up that doesn’t increase the volume. Either that or they are just being spiteful.
Tomorrow marks the first year of my Dearest Husband’s passing…
He would always call me down with 2 little words: “Yes, Sweetheart” .
LOBE NEVER DIES
14
Aw. I’m sorry, Geni – ❤️❤️❤️
9
“You’re just like your mother “worked very well for me.
Actually, I would just call her “Raelene“ and whatever the subject was was completely forgotten at that point – it was just ballistic time
I got entertainment, and the situation was over at that point. Win-win for me.
Her mother was the textbook, bad mother-in-law.
My ex held a lot of resentment towards her already before I came along.
6
JDHasty – “tell the governor Ah sed “Ow””
Classic.
4
Thanks, MJA and thanks to JDHasty for comic relief of Blazing Saddles’ Slim Pickens who was a genuine “Teamster” !!
6
LOBE, ha!
5
Then lost his sight.
Expect to be out of the hospital in two or three days with sight returning as the swelling goes down.
3
@Jelly Bean, I just feel sorry for the guy, that’s all.
3
Only 4 words needed for a successful marriage,
I
Do
Yes
Dear.
4
I hate it when she goes off and I don’t recognize who that person in front of me is anymore. Crazy eyes and voice.
5
Hell, I’m still trying to get one excited.
2
LOL! He should have titled that, “How to Esculate a Woman’s Rage fest”.
2
^^^^^^^^
I said “Calm Down” to my wife once. I won’t be doing that again. It was like pouring gasoline on a fire.
5
My brother’s girlfriend: Whenever we get into an argument you always think you are right.
Brother: Ah ha!
Girlfriend: Ah ha what?
Brother: So, you just admitted that you argue just to argue!
Girlfriend: Well, you always think you are right every time we get into an argument.
Brother: Is there any other reason to get into an argument?
Girlfriend: You just don’t get it.
4
Another good way to calm her down is to say, “I don’t think you understand”.
2
One evening years ago I came home from work and pulled into the garage. When I shut off the engine and opened the car door it sounded like WWIII in the house with my wife and daughter screaming at each other. I thought for a second and then stuck my foot out the car door and slowly pushed the car out of the garage. Then I started it up and drove down to the local bar and had dinner and a few beers.
…so, when’s the funeral?
“…are you in a relationship with a woman?”
Me: Only until she starts woman’en.
“…are you in a relationship with a woman?”
Dunno. I haven’t got consent yet to ask.
You are acting just like your mother. LOL
“…are you in a relationship with a woman?”
YOU’RE NO BIOLOGIST!!!
YOU CAN’T KNOW!!!!!111!!!!111#$^<[*^$
You can’t even see the bruises.
In a way this would solve the problem of calming a lady down only not in the way intended.
Dr. Tar
Monday, 28 April 2025, 12:42 at 12:42 pm
“In a way this would solve the problem of calming a lady down only not in the way intended.”
https://youtu.be/AXQYAHY_Aj8?si=8_MGxxeooCHBEdns
The one I used to use is: “I hate it when you open yer mouth and yer mother comes out!”
That calmed her down for about 43 years…
“So… Is it your time of the month?”
“I’m 60 years old you idiot!!!”
(heads off to sleep on the couch… again)
I used to just ignore the berating but I do remember getting a pause asking “if a tree falls in the woods and there’s nobody around is it still my fault” I don’t know if she was thinking about it or surprised I responded . but it’s peaceful now .
I’ve been happily married for fifty years and all I say is “ yes dear”, I never do anything but “ yes dear” shuts her up until I can leave the room, then I follow up with “ I forgot”.
“Have You Ever Had One Of Those Days
when Nothing Goes Right
your Wife Starts Bitchen ’bout Whatever It Was She Was Bitchen About Last Night
so You Escape Into The Bathroom
just To Sit There On Your Thrown
but After You Finish Your Buisness The Toilet Paper’s Gone”
-Thorn Paul, “It’s A Great Day (for Me To Whoop Somebody’s Ass)”
https://youtu.be/iPM1ifkOQ9s?si=Kp0pCWMBHbR5GHDs
“You’re starting to sound like my ex-wife”
“I didn’t know you were married before”
“I wasn’t”
Proverbs 21:19
Was he making that video inside his closet with the door securely locked?
😆
Holy cow girl; who lit the fuse to your tampon?
They impress me as having had their volume knob hooked up backwards or something. I’ve never one time come across a single one that when you tell them to shut the hell up that doesn’t increase the volume. Either that or they are just being spiteful.
My mother never knew how close she came
https://youtu.be/QifTODTsg_0?si=e-HFX6dyBazPLxhU
Tomorrow marks the first year of my Dearest Husband’s passing…
He would always call me down with 2 little words: “Yes, Sweetheart” .
LOBE NEVER DIES
Aw. I’m sorry, Geni – ❤️❤️❤️
“You’re just like your mother “worked very well for me.
Actually, I would just call her “Raelene“ and whatever the subject was was completely forgotten at that point – it was just ballistic time
I got entertainment, and the situation was over at that point. Win-win for me.
Her mother was the textbook, bad mother-in-law.
My ex held a lot of resentment towards her already before I came along.
JDHasty – “tell the governor Ah sed “Ow””
Classic.
Thanks, MJA and thanks to JDHasty for comic relief of Blazing Saddles’ Slim Pickens who was a genuine “Teamster” !!
LOBE, ha!
Then lost his sight.
Expect to be out of the hospital in two or three days with sight returning as the swelling goes down.
@Jelly Bean, I just feel sorry for the guy, that’s all.
Only 4 words needed for a successful marriage,
I
Do
Yes
Dear.
I hate it when she goes off and I don’t recognize who that person in front of me is anymore. Crazy eyes and voice.
Hell, I’m still trying to get one excited.
LOL! He should have titled that, “How to Esculate a Woman’s Rage fest”.
^^^^^^^^
I said “Calm Down” to my wife once. I won’t be doing that again. It was like pouring gasoline on a fire.
My brother’s girlfriend: Whenever we get into an argument you always think you are right.
Brother: Ah ha!
Girlfriend: Ah ha what?
Brother: So, you just admitted that you argue just to argue!
Girlfriend: Well, you always think you are right every time we get into an argument.
Brother: Is there any other reason to get into an argument?
Girlfriend: You just don’t get it.
Another good way to calm her down is to say, “I don’t think you understand”.
One evening years ago I came home from work and pulled into the garage. When I shut off the engine and opened the car door it sounded like WWIII in the house with my wife and daughter screaming at each other. I thought for a second and then stuck my foot out the car door and slowly pushed the car out of the garage. Then I started it up and drove down to the local bar and had dinner and a few beers.