Just another day waking up to find that Joey B. is still the illegitimate office holder of the stolen presidency. And we’re only a swallow away from cackling idiot stepping in.
America is still so screwed.
My friend Joe Biden makes billions of dollars selling secrets to China.
Joe say’s your $16000 is chump-change.
Anonymous “We’re sliding back to the middle ages.”
Ain’t it great! I just bought a trebuchet!
Get the point?
A metaphor for America – we get the nail-boards but are told it’s an ice cream sandwich.
izlamo delenda est …
Medieval tortures were designed to never give quick death, and this one was no exception. The spikes here are not long enough, top or bottom, to pierce anything vital, but long enough to inflict much pain and do disfiguring damage, which was a big part of it because breaking a man’s spirit was made much easier if you could make him hate his appearance, and if you could do that and cripple and maim him in the process so he would no longer be a capable human being, he would confess anything if only you would end his ugly, useless existence. You will notice that this man’s arms are crossed against his lower belly. This is to reduce the liklihood that the very vulnerable internal organs here, unprotected by bone as the chest is, are fatally damaged right away. The gentials are also mostly exempt here, and being very vascular this can also be to prevent him from dying too quickly, although he will certainly have his arms and hands pressed cruelly into his body as the torturer walks on the sandwich boards. The testies and penis can be tormented individually later, but you need a more skilled craftsman to remove the penis and not kill the victim, although testes can be simply banded until they fall off if time is not a factor, or cauterized with a hot iron if it is. You can see that the tormenter is starting to force the board down at the feet while another holds the top up. Many tortures work from bottom to top, to give anticipation and/or time to confess, repent, give information, whatever before more severe damage is done, if the sufferer was given the untrue expectation that he would be able to stop his torture if only he gives the desired response. A particuarly nasty one had a man placed in a sectioned box with hungry rats let in to his feet, then to his legs, then to his genitals, and so on, progressively allowed to gnaw their way up his body until they bit something vital and he bled out. A higher fear factor but harder to control as rats do what rats do and are notoriously bad at following instructions unless your name is Willard.
As for the simple device itself, nails of the period were not the round, even, sharp things we’re used to now, but hand-forged at considerable expense and so probably somewhat blunt and squarish in shape, and square edges are far less likely to heal even if the torture is stopped at some point and the victim released to contemplate his future or lack thereof. The bluntness doesn’t stop them from piercing, but actually makes it more painful to do so, although shock loads with hammers or simple jumping could be applied to get them started or drive them deeper as desired. Plywood was in something of an early stage of development so these were more likely rough hewn boards nailed together and so lent their own weight to the torments at hand. Generally speaking only a church or a monarch could afford the time and labor that went into making the device and in hiring people to operate it, as it was physical and messy labor by design, and not everyone had the stomach for it, so men that did could commmand phat bank from even the most stingy of monarchs, as in SOME things a tyrant will splurge if it’s important enough to him.
The man will naturally turn his head to avoid the nails at the top, which is useful because this means he can scream or confess as desired, but his ears and eyes may still be pierced if placement of the nails is not modifed to accomodate. In this illustration he appears to be staring ahead, which may be artistic licence or may be genine dread, but the tortuerer will likely turn his head for him if he does not for a variety of reasons, listed below, as well as to help prevent him from being able to choke if the torture cause him to vomit. At the option of the torturer, the ear spaces may be vacated as the victims torment can be sharpened by taunts from his tormenters, hear the cries of his family and freiends being tormented nearby, or to hear the voice of his confessor demanding whatever information or confession this is designed to acquire. You can also kill a man if you drive a spike into his ear canal, and again this is not the immediate point as he must be made to suffer a long time first. They are less likely to protect the eyes, as the nail sliding in sideways to puncture an eyeball will scarcely be lethal, but will further disfigure and cripple the man to the benefit of his tormenters in breaking his bodily image, provided that his eyes are not desired for, again, viewing the torments of a wife or child as he lies pierced between studded wooden boards and unable to help, with perhaps them similarly situatied and facing him as his confessor tells the wife/child that their plight is due to the behavior of the man in question.
Oh, and ice cream sandwiches are delicious.
after downloading, EXIF/GPS analysis of the first photo above shows it to have been taken in istanbul on 2 October 2018.
That picture just about nails it. Maybe it was a medieval form of acupuncture.
“Gay clubs’ run in seminaries, says Pope Benedict in posthumous attack on Francis”
What went on last night to develop these warm fuzzy threads?
“I like the Chocolate Chocolate Chip Ones.”
— Joey Shitpants
Thanks, I’m skipping breakfast.
Cheers, actually a great read.
Torquemada’s Treetz –
Wow! I like you! Wanna hang out?
There’s a castle winery in the Napa Valley, it contains rooms of medieval weapons used against people. Worth the tour. Brutal!