Let’s Play a Game: Name That Metro Station!

Metro in the Age of Crazy

TBE: The chronic problems of the Washington metro system can’t be blamed entirely upon its dysfunctional, multi-state governance system or even the poor choices of its governing board. Any realistic appraisal of the Metro must take into account the fact that the country is increasingly populated by friggin’ lunatics!

The Metro board came up with the idea of selling off the naming rights to Metro stations. Most recently, the board waived its existing naming rules in order to finalize a deal with a “Fortune Global 500 company” to rename the soon-to-open Innovation Center station (near the Center for Innovative Technology building) to a name selected by the unnamed corporation. Now members of the Fairfax County Board of Supervisors are in a snit that the county wasn’t consulted. more here [It gets worse]

19 Comments on Let’s Play a Game: Name That Metro Station!

  1. I’ve never been in the subways of New York or Washington DC, but Chicago subways look more like sewers than subways. They are dark and filthy and ugly. London’s tubes are better and pretty efficient, but very cold in the winter. Paris subways don’t look too bad but stink like urine. The Moscow Metro system is beautiful and clean and the trains run very often and like clockwork. They were built mostly by slave labor, though, and the stations are very far apart.

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  2. I can think of a better station naming system, although it might not mean any naming rights money.

    Leech Station
    Vampire Bat
    Blow-Fly
    Bloodsucker Central
    Stinking Swamp
    Rabid Raccoon
    Tse-tse Fly
    Malaria Mosquito
    Tapeworm Transfer Station
    San Francrisco Sidewalk
    Auschwitz
    Caracas Barrio
    Hog Waste Lagoon

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  3. Take the Red line from Rosatom Center station to Burisma Park station, then transfer to Yellow line and exit at Huawei Garden station, comrade.

    “Traitors’ Gallows Station would be great!”

    Hell yes. At the end of the line.

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  4. The way DC’s Affirmative Action Train Conductors already (mis)pronounce the stations makes this all the more fun!

    Did you know that “L’Enfant Plaza Station” (you know, Pierre L’Enfant, that wild and crazy French guy that sorta kinda *designed* Washington, DC…completed by Ellicott and Banneker) is pronounced: LA-fun-Pluzz?

    Yeah, me neither. But, welcome to DC!

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  5. Thirdtwin
    NOVEMBER 25, 2019 AT 11:15 AM

    ““Traitors’ Gallows Station would be great!”

    Hell yes. At the end of the line.”

    …will the subway make seven turns around the main line, then tuck the bitter end of the spur in, facing up the way it came?

    …would seem appropriate…

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  6. DC Metro already allows turnstile jumping & announced they would not prosecute anyone that does so…any wonder why they report losses?

    … besides the city gubmint being so corrupt, I mean

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