Let’s play a game

Tell me which companies or Brands must be renamed and what name should they change it to, to avoid getting cancelled by the woke?

TARGET should be renamed TIMID.
Because TARGET sounds violent and pro-gun.

Bank of America should be renamed The People’s Redistribution Center.
Because equality should pay. Dearly.

Bob’s Big Boy should be renamed Ze Big Ze.


40 Comments on Let’s play a game

  1. Walmart should be named “unborderedmart” because walls are bad.

    Walgreen’s should be changed to something else for the same reason.

    White Castle should be changed to “black lives matter” because the words “white” and “castle” are obviously racist.

    McDonald’s has to be changed because it has part of Donald Trump’s name in it.

    Dollar Tree should be changed to Dollar “whatever” because trees were used for lynching in the past.

    Ashley Furniture must be renamed because one of the characters in “Gone With The Wind” was named Ashley.

    23
  2. JC Penney’s name should be changed because it has the initials JC in it which might offend non Christians. Any company which has a King for a spokesperson like Burger King, Larry King, just because. Golden Corral because it encourages gluttony especially amongst poor people of color. Crayola Crayons because they have too many colors available which might offend someone of a non specific color. EVERYTHING, just because, that would be fair and make everyone and everybody equally stupid and miserable because there would no longer be a common language for anyone to communicate in. Words mean things and without meaning or context nothing would make sense and we’d all be morons and idiots held hostage by a snobby elite (there will always be an elite) who want to dumb us all down to the level of meaninglessness. To satirize the Bible, the new beginning would be, “At the end of all things since there was no beginning everything was meaningless, without shape and void and the world was in chaos, totally meaningless, totally existential without people who could understand or comprehend anything or anybody and all were equally miserable therefore no one was better than anyone else and all was hell. I do not want to live in a leftist, dystopic world where nothing makes sense and there is no God or divine source to provide for living.

    7
  3. Every state name because colonialism and representative of the systemic racism used to oppress people’s of color.
    Actually, we should rename just the Democrat party to targets of opportunity and call it a day.

    8
  4. Burger King definitely should be changed because it exudes Monarchy and that implies dominion over others. Why not Burger Commune, far more equal and inclusive. And that motto of “Have it your way”? F*ck off with that individuality, you’ll have it the way everyone else has it.

    13
  5. “Borders” needs to become “”

    And I like the Babylon Bee’s article that the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America is getting rid of words that are offensive, such as “Evangelical”, “Lutheran”, “Church” and “America”.

    17
  6. Woody Wood pecker, the fictional cartoon character should be renamed.
    That is basically 3 names for male genitalia. Not inclusive.
    And crazy stuff like that.

    Burger King is not inclusive enough. That’s toxic masculinity.
    Burger X or Burger Kingx.

    Other candidates.
    African-American.
    Not inclusive enough.
    Should be changed to
    Africanx-Americanx

    (Seriously though, I absolutely hate the something-American labels, and I am a son of legal immigrant.)

    Back to businesses that need to be taken down.
    Salesforce.
    That’s promoting violence.
    New name should be Salesinclusiveness.
    Popey’s Burger
    (the left’s overrated hero.)
    That’s toxic male masculinity.
    New name.
    Olive Oyl Burger.
    Or Gender non-specific Burger.

    Amazon.
    That name is stolen from a stolen land from indigenous people.
    Rename to
    “Non specific name to avoid stealing Indigenous people land name”

    Jim Beam.
    Toxic masculinity promoting name.
    Rename to Jenny Beam, Jinny Beam, or the recommended Jinx Beam.

    Miller beer.
    Another toxic masculinity promoting name.
    Rename to Milla or Millx beer.

    Weight watcher should close for good.
    Insensitive towards plus size people, especially gender non-specific plus size “peoplekind” or something.

    Toyota.
    Ends with an a, implying that is a female name.
    Totally incesistive, and not inclusive.
    Rename to Toyotx.
    Same with Honda.
    Rename to Hondx.

    L.L. Bean
    Black Bean Company.
    Bean & Co.
    The Bean Coffee.
    Bush’s Bean.
    All are racist dog whistle against undocumented Mexican migrants.
    Or something.

    Dick’s Sporting goods.
    Named after toxic male genitalia.
    Rename to Vaginax Sporting goods.

    Air Jordan.
    Totally not inclusive.
    Rename to Air Jordanna, or Air Jordanx.

    The “woke” playboy magazine and its jackass “correspondent” at the White House, POS Brian Karem, should be ashamed of such gender assuming non inclusive name.

    Playboy should rename itself to Play gender-non specific, or Play non-binary.

    Paypal.
    Another toxic male name.
    New name:
    Paynonbinaryfriend.

    12
  7. AFRICAN METHODIST EPISCOPAL CHURCH or AME founded in 1787 by freed slaves. Methodist and Episcopal are white men churches.
    Change name to Drum Circle

    7
  8. Bass Pro

    “Got back an dem chips”

    (I say, it means one has a copious dark posterior and is compensated for said condition )

    2
  9. Zonga
    JULY 14, 2020 AT 8:02 AM
    “AFRICAN METHODIST EPISCOPAL CHURCH or AME founded in 1787 by freed slaves. Methodist and Episcopal are white men churches.
    Change name to Drum Circle”

    …The “African” is the ONLY part of it those Black racists have cared about as long as I’ve been alive, not sure they even let Christ into their “church” since he sure as hell isn’t allowed in their HEARTS…

    5
  10. …There’s a chain of massage parlors here called “Chinese Touch”.

    Not sure what to make of that, but it seems like that would be a good name to change for COVID associations all by itself, let alone any “ruv you RONG time” connotations…

    7
  11. Hebrew National.

    Because, Muslums.

    Democrat would prefer changing it to “Dead Jews”

    And probably making that the prime ingredient also…

    8
  12. Winn Dixie and Dixie Cups to

    Lose Non-Northern Region Supermarkets and
    Non-Northern Region Cups

    5
  13. OH! I was not playing the game correctly. Let’s see…

    All white Northern European men to:

    Two Legged Blue Eyed Cracker

    8
  14. Mansfield Lovell
    JULY 14, 2020 AT 8:29 AM
    “Count Chocula to Proletariat Chocula”

    …does Chocula’s chocolate color qualify him as Black for New Apartheid purposes? If so, it’ll have to be “Prole POC” instead, and he’ll have to quit smiling and raise a fist to Whitey on the box, and maybe drop a knee…

    4
  15. Zonga
    JULY 14, 2020 AT 8:32 AM
    Superdupernightshade,

    “I don’t know anything about them.
    A.M.E. Motto “God Our Father, Christ Our Redeemer, the Holy Spirit Our Comforter, Humankind Our Family” is a great summary of what the African Methodist Episcopal Church believes.”

    …which is like a list of things they AVOID, at least in my own personal experience and every political position they’ve taken, but this is all pretty OT…

    “Since its establishment in 1816, the AME Church has worked to minister to the needs–spiritual, physical, emotional, intellectual and environmental–of people. Using liberation theology, the AME seeks to help those in need…”

    https://www.thoughtco.com/first-black-denomination-in-the-us-45157

    …Liberation Theologyis the underpin, its not a good thing…

    https://religionandpolitics.org/2018/09/25/the-radical-rise-of-liberation-theology-an-interview-with-lilian-calles-barger/

    2
  16. African-Americans. It’s more accurate.
    Mostly Blackskins. It’s more accurate.
    Bidenprompter. It’s more accurate.

    3
  17. Women or Ladies on a bathroom door too exclusive. Change to:
    People of color
    Trans-women
    Transvestites
    Rapists dressed as women
    Pedophiles in women’s clothes
    Non-binary folks
    Two Spirit
    Cisgender
    Gender-fluid
    Gender Neutral
    Cracker Women
    Androgynous
    Lesbians
    Gender Questioning

    (I just scratched the surface)

    4
  18. Let’s play a game reminds me of the Matthew Broderick movie War Games. California Governor Newsom has officially declared war on all law abiding California citizens. Don’t Californicate America!

    5
  19. “Seattle Seahawks” should be changed to “Seattle Foul” (no, not ”
    Fowl”) because they suck and the town sucks.

    Alternate name: “Seattle Phony Seabirds” (no such thing as a “seahawk”).

    5
  20. Sam’s Club to Samantha’s Club

    Boy’s and Girl’s Club to Non binary Club

    Cracker Barrel to No Longer Oppressing Barrel
    or Crackah Barrel

    4

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