Look Before You Drink. – IOTW Report

Look Before You Drink.

There I was is sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, troublemaking biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

“Well, whatcha gonna do about it?” he says, menacingly, as I suddenly burst into tears.

“Oh, come on, man,” the biker says, “I didn’t think you’d CRY. I can’t stand to see a man crying.”

“This is the worst day of my life,” I say.

“I’m a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don’t have any insurance.

I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife in bed with the gardener, and then my dog bit me.”

“So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all. I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you, you jackass, show up and drink the whole thing!”

“But enough about me, how’s your day going?”

h/t Doc.

image via Pixabay


5 Comments on Look Before You Drink.

  1. Good one. I’ll cast my vote for the value of diversion. We just returned from a remote 4 day camping trip at 7,0000 feet M.S.L. and above somewhere near the U.S. Continental Divide. I am a trained observer. Believe me when I tell you I thought I was seeing UFO’s an hour after sunset Sunday and Monday nights. Moday night was the best: I saw about 50 lights in a perfect straight line moving across the sky. WTF over? Upon returning home a 20 minute internet search provided the answer: SpaceX satellite strings. When I was looking at those nighttime lights I was not thinking about Biden’s “Red Speech”, that’s for sure!

    It’s Hell to be an old geezer. This new technology is unbelievable. Elon Musk rocks!

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  2. …let me take it in a different direction…

    …one day, a man cane to his pastor at his church.

    “Pastor”, he said. “For all the bad things in my life, you’ve been there.

    The day that I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me, you were there. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don’t have any insurance, and you were there. When I left my wallet in the cab I took home, and then I found my wife in bed with the gardener, and my dog bit me, you were there. You’ve ALWAYS been there.”

    The man pauses for a moment, then saya, “Pastor, I can’t be a member of your church any more”.

    Perplexed, the pastor says, “After all that? Why?”

    …after which the man looks him in the eye and says, “Because, pastor, you’re bad luck”.

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