May your Halloween be filled with candy, cackles and trunalimunumaprzure! – IOTW Report

May your Halloween be filled with candy, cackles and trunalimunumaprzure!

Patriot Retort:

Happy Halloween everybody.

Actually, I should probably say Happy Halloween and Reformation Day everybody!

You see five hundred and three years ago today, Martin Luther nailed his 95 theses to the door of All Saints’ church in Wittenberg, Germany. And thus began the Protestant Reformation.

Of course, since he did it on Halloween, when the priest inside All Saints heard the pounding, he just assumed Martin Luther was a trick or treater, so he opened the door and handed him a Kit Kat.

Okay. Not really.

You know, given how insane the rest of 2020 has been, is anybody else a little nervous about Halloween 2020? Because I am. more

27 Comments on May your Halloween be filled with candy, cackles and trunalimunumaprzure!



  2. I am devastated, simply devastated. Turner Classic Movies is right now airing Them!, about giant nuclear mutated ants attack Los Angeles, a true classic, and the Missus vetoed it!

    As for other Halloween events, the biggie around our house happens on November 1st when all the unsold candy at CVS, Walgreen’s, and Publix goes on sale for half price.

  3. HalloWHAT?!

    We ONLY recognize the Festival Day of the Reformation here at our house on October 31. I LOVE giving the local kids copies of The Small Catechism when they come to the door! 😀

  4. Trick or Treat Candy Rules:

    All candy will be inspected in private by the Faaaather before being returned to it’s gatherer. In particular, the following candy types will be carefully sampl era inspected:

    Semisweet chocolates
    Peanut butter and chocolate
    Almonds and chocolate
    Anything with the word “Tootsie” on it
    Anything with the word “Duds” on it
    Cinnamon Hots
    Lemon Balls
    Anything cherry flavored

    The Faaaather cannot guarantee the count of any candy type.

  5. Tonight is Halloween with a Blue Moon!
    If you have clear skies, get outside and take a look at the 2nd full moon in Oct.

    “It’s the first in 76 years, and won’t happen again until 2039! ”
    [oww, less than a sure bet I’ll still be here for the next one].

    Rare Halloween ‘Blue Moon’ is a spooky treat for us all .

  6. Ah, went out of my way to have two bags of treats to handout. Even though turn out this Halloween was expected to be light. It was.

    Not a single child came to my door. Though I saw a few walk past. But not many of them. My bet is they were only going to the houses of family members or close family friends this year.

  7. I’m really torn about this Halloween. Is Dementia Joe acting more like Sling Blade or Boo Radley? Who ever he most resembles, there’s a little bit of that Hillbilly banjo player somewhere in there. I’ll bet that Kalamity Harris is going to be squealing like a pig before this bad pairing is terminated on November 3rd. Is there a movie in her future? Deliverance from Dementia is a good working title for now, but I’m open to other possibilities.

  8. One little kid came to the door, I told him as a treat I would add him to my will.

  9. My Petey B: “Hey Chasten’s Unbleached Elastic Starfish! Trick-Or-Treat?”

    Chasten’s Unbleached Elastic Starfish: “Hey my Petey B. Treat yourself to my unbleached elastic starfish!”

  10. Crap halloween.

    HOWEVER. For the kids that went out? FULL SIZED BARS. Looking at my kids haul right now. Sure, we had to take a side by side to find houses with their lights on.

    But when we did…. wow. Jackpot damn near every house. It looks like a 1980s pillow case sized haul of candy.

    Oh, saw Tremors and Cloverfield. Top notch monster flicks.

    PS Reformation day? Give it up protestants. No ones gonna’ stand for you screwing up Halloween. All the coolest holidays are Catholic.

  11. @Uncle Al–

    I can’t believe your wife vetoed “Them!”. One of the BEST, bar none. [“Make me a sergeant in charge of the booze!” whilst flinging the blanket over his head…]

    Two other favorites: “The Crawling Eye” and “Caltiki, the Immortal Monster.”

  12. Quietest Halloween ever. Not because we didn’t get trick-o-treaters, we never do. I can count on one hand the number of door knockers in 20 years: Four, in one group, about eight years ago. This year we didn’t even get candy, it only took 20 years to not do so. Instead we would resort to microwave popcorn if anyone came by. No one did. Houses are too far apart in my neck of the neighborhood, and no sidewalks.

    No, it was quiet because the kids are finally older. My 16 y/o is out with his friends doing who knows what, after working a 7 hour shift at the sammich shop. My 13 y/o went to his friends neighborhood and is sleeping over. My wife and youngest carved a couple pumpkins that we bought earlier today as some sort of tradition. My wife and I enjoyed a steak dinner in peace.

    And because we actually had nice weather, mid-50s and sunny warm. First time in decades we get decent weather on Halloween. I was remembering following the kids around the neighborhood in the snow or rain or wind door-to-door. Seems like yesterday. And no outdoor parties this year either, where we were freezing every year prior.

    Next year, however, all the activities will happen. It will probably be 15 degrees with blowing snow. That’s how it works.


  13. One year I had over 120 kids show. This year I only saw a few kids across the street with none on my side.
    Glad I bought what I like.

  14. We’ve been living here 13 years today. Yep, woke up in the new home Nov 1 2007.

    In those years, we’ve never had trick or treaters come.

  15. We watched “The Tingler” with Vinnie Price and Aggie Morehead. SCREAM! SCREAM TO SAVE YOUR LIFE!

  16. My neighborhood was calm aside from some screeching kid trick or treaters crying wolf and whooping it up.

    Also note, 5 + Trump signs and no Biden. :b

    Ahem. I also made pumpkin pie and won a game of clue so not totally boring I guess?

  17. One of the advantages of a 900′ driveway winding through the woods…. When I was still in the Richmond area, the night was always topped off with full grown city rats collecting candy. I was sick of it.

  18. I watched Them last night on TCM and fell in and out of sleep while watching it. It didn’t matter as I’ve seen it many times before and probably will again. One of my favorites sci fi movies was on TCM recently the Ray Bradbury story It Came From Outer Space. I love most of the 50’s sci fi movies even the ones mocked and ridiculed by MST 3000.

  19. Big turnout in my neighborhood – some kids only wearing face masks with words or symbols — positive and anti-covid stuff going on.

    Apples and candy given out this year.

  20. I save up all the ketchup and mayo packets from the fast food places during the year and give them out.

  21. Many people have trouble with the word “Aluminum”.
    Also the word “Psychiatry”.

  22. Mary Poppins has a question

    Trunalimanumaperzure ..wadafukduzthatmean

    Makes me think that Sundown Joe’s
    Been sniffing cans of benzene
    If you say it slow enough
    It could be something obscene

    He traveled to a couple of states
    And everywhere he wented
    Hed use that word and all would say
    That guy must be demented?
    When Dems and Barry Bama
    Ask him to go speak
    He brings up his special word
    And it’s “What the total freak”

    Trunalimanumaperzurewadafukduzthamean ….

    (On to third stanza)

    So when the prompter goes too fast
    There’s no need for dismay
    Just blather up your special word
    And its “What the fu’ he say?”
    But better use it carefully
    Cause it could change your life

    (Joe speaking) For example

    One night I said it to this old hag .. and it turned out to be my wife. And what a lying dog faced pony soldier she was!!

    Trumalimamunaperzurewadafukduzthamean? ….

  23. Mary still has to hammer out the first stanza …

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