Dan Rather says this interview is fake, but real.
BFH: Hey, thanks for you all being here. Let me start by asking straight out, “Do you want Hillary to be the next president of the United States?
NT#1: And let me answer straight out that we know where you’re going with this, and no, we do not want Hillary to be president.
NT#2: Speak for yourself. I really don’t care if she becomes the president. This is not about who wins at this point, it’s about principles. I have them. They are great principles, terrific principles and they are huge principles and they are winning principles. My principles are going to win so much you’re going to be sick of how much I’m winning with my principles.
NT#1: Uhh, he doesn’t speak for the majority of us. We don’t want Hillary to win, no.
BFH: Well, what are you doing to prevent Hillary from winning?
NT#3: We wanted Ted Cruz to win, he would have beat Hillary, that’s what we were doing to prevent Hillary from winning.
BFH: No, not what were you doing. Cruz lost. What are you doing now to prevent Hillary from winning?
NT#4: Cruz didn’t lose yet, and we’re not going to forgive what Trump and Trump voters did to Ted.
BFH: What’d Trump do?
NT#4: He beat him.
BFH: Ummm… how is it you can so easily forget what the Clintons have done to you? You must be furious about the well-documented scandals that the Clintons seem to worm out of decade after decade, no?
NT#1: We hate Hillary as much as the next guy, probably more so.
BFH: Yet, you hate Trump more, a guy that has no public service record for you to point to, but still you say “Trump is worse than Hillary,” is that right?
NT#4: Trump beat Ted. He shouldn’t have done that. That’s the Drumph political record that sucks, right there.
BFH: Worse than Hillary?
NT #1, #2, #3, #4, #5: Yes.
NT #3: Besides, if Hillary wins we are that much closer to getting Ted.
BFH: What do you mean?
NT#1: Hillary will be one term. Then we can get Ted in 2020.
BFH: Why can’t that same plan work with Trump winning in 2016? At least then we don’t risk Hillary stacking the courts with progressive activists, then you can try for Ted in 2020.
NT#2: We see that as a risk. Trump might get a second term after a first term.
BFH: If he gets a second term that means he did a pretty good job, no?
NT#1: And how does that get us Ted? You see what we’re saying?
BFH: Ya, I do.
NT#3: In fact, many of us are planning on voting for Hillary just to make sure she wins.
BFH: Didn’t you just say you didn’t want Hil…. Are you one of the people that can’t vote for Trump because you have principles?
NT#5: In fact, if we were forced to start a new party, the name we were thinking of was the Principle party.
BFH: And this party would comprise of people so principled that they can’t vote for Trump, because the cheeto- faced, toupeed Rump made fun of people and said mean things, but they can vote for Hillary, a person whose deeds have reached a level of corruption never before seen in modern politics?
NT#1: You think you’re smart, but it has more to do with a philosophy we all began living by since a guy posted it on the internet. Something about voting for the guy you can control and keeping him close rather than the other party where you can’t, therefore you’re controlling your destiny.
NT#2: Wait, that’s not quite right. I read that too. I think it’s a Chinese warrior saying, and it’s about being principled, that’s for sure.
NT#3: Yes! I saw that. It’s a proverb. Keep your enemies close and your friends… no, that’s not it.
NT#1: Fool me once, shame on…
NT#2: NO. It’s something about voting for the other party, and it’s better to have the enemy in that party that you’re responsible for rather than an enemy in your own party that you’re not responsible for. It’s a founding father saying, I think, maybe a French guy. But it’s what I live by. We’re all copying and pasting it. It’s profound. I’ll find it later.
BFH: Sounds good. Didn’t you say you didn’t want Hillary to win a little while ago?
NT#1: Your point being???
Do you think Trump can win?
NT#1: No, that’s what we’ve been warning people about since way, way back, like almost 3 months ago,
NT#2: No, it was before that. It’s been since it looked pretty clear that Trump was going to beat Ted that we started to say Trump can’t win.
NT#1: That’s right. And now that he’s won the primary we are going to make sure he can’t win the presidency, just like we said all along, that he can’t win.
NT#5: Yes, it is paramount that Trump not win because we warned you that he couldn’t.
BFH: So that’s why NeverTrump sites run a daily barrage of the stupidest of petty crapola, the kind of small stuff the left runs in order to damage a candidate, in order to fulfill your prophecy and to look smart?
NT#3: Well, hearing it the way you’ve framed it it sounds stupid, but basically, yes. That, and Ted.
BFH: Is it principled to do that?
NT#1: We’re talking TED here, the most principled candidate I think I’ve ever seen,
NT#2: or smelled…
NT#1: so I think you’d agree that any underhanded thing we can do or say, including electing a progressive in order to get TED in office, is not out of bounds.
BFH: You know, many say that Hillary stacking the courts with left-wing activists will render moot any conservative who, by the slimmest of chances, happens to get into the presidency after her. They say Trump getting the picks is a much wiser choice, strategy-wise.
NT#1: You should have thought of that when we were warning you that Trump couldn’t win.
NT#2: Not if we have anything to do with it, he won’t. And if Hillary wins it’ll be your fault.
BFH: Isn’t that a bit of circular and flawed logic?
(The sound of the air conditioning buzzing in the background.)
BFH: I think at this point I’d like to point out that I wasn’t a big supporter of Trump. I supported both Cruz and Trump because they were very similar in their campaign positions, so much so that Cruz started to sound almost identical to Trump, and my position was to back either one that won the primary.
What do you say to a person like me who has to witness to what amounts to a coordinated sabotage by the right of the elected right-wing candidate, the only one that stands between Hillary and the white house?
NT#1, NT#2, NT#3, NT#4, NT#5: F*ck ya.
BFH: F*ck me? That’s your answer?
NT#1: Haven’t you heard a single word we’ve been saying?
NT#4: Have you considered voting for Gary Johnson? I have.
BFH: The Gary Johnson who is for open borders, abortion, legalizing dru…
NT#4: Ya. That’s the guy.
BFH: Well, despite what you think, I have my principles too, and I don’t see how voting for Gary Johnson or Hillary Clinton preserves my principles.
NT#4: It would if your only principle was getting Ted.
NT#1: You see? You haven’t heard a thing we’ve been saying.
BFH: I think we’re done now.
NT#3: Thank God, you’re an idiot.