Note To Big Tuna: Try Harder

MOTUS: I read yesterday that Big Tuna is blaming millennials for a downturn in canned tuna sales (The Trouble With Tuna: ‘A Lot of Millennials Don’t Even Own Can Openers’).

Now I’ve found fault with millennials in the past for all sorts of things – mostly related to their willful lack of critical thinking skills and their mindless adoption of looney leftist dogma that they’ve been spoon fed and indoctrinated in since inception – but even I am unwilling to blame them for the demise of canned tuna.

If it’s true that millennials don’t own can openers we could be dealing with a hardware problem rather than a software issue. However I see elsewhere that people are suggesting it may have more to do with millennials being concerned with dolphins getting trapped in tuna nets, or a health concern about mercury poisoning in ocean fish. Or possibly because they’re “a generation that cares about the environment and struggles with the level of tuna overfishing.” Except even the author of that excuse concedes that millennials are likewise the generation that made Ahi poke bowls mega-popular, so maybe not that (last) one.”  MORE HERE

27 Comments on Note To Big Tuna: Try Harder

  1. “If it’s true that millennials don’t own can openers we could be dealing with a hardware problem rather than a software issue.”

    Only if you regard brains as hardware.




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  2. Want to know why I stopped buying cans of tuna? Look at how much you get in a can now a days. I opened one can and I thought someone had opened it before me – it obviously contained less than in previous cans of tuna. They are putting in less tuna yet charging the same price. Same holds for other products – we are getting less (noticed how sausage that used to weigh a pound now weighs something like 14 or 13 ounces)?




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  3. Am I the only one that remembers the twist-keys on sardine cans? How ’bout a P-38 glued to one can in a 4-pack? Campbell’s soup has pull tops. You wanna sell tuna or not?

    Note, too, that their Yuppie Mommies didn’t make their school lunches, so they probably never had tuna growing up. At one time, there were hundreds of sardine canneries. Like sardines, tuna is a food item that has a dying demographic.




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  4. My millennial kid eats tuna straight from the can.

    If you’re too stupid to own and operate a $2.94 can opener, you’re too stupid to live.

    FWIW- I buy foil packed tuna and spam for single serving on the go use. No can opener needed.




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  5. I have found the StarKist Selects Yellowfin Marinated Tuna in Extra Virgin Olive Oil with Roasted Garlic to be so tasty as to be craveable.
    Highly recommended.
    I might have a can for dinner.




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  6. davidw: “Look at how much you get in a can now a days.”

    that’s happened with lots of products since 2008. it’s the magic non-inflation inflation. quantitative easing, a.k.a money printing. keep the price the same, shrink the can. later keep the small can size and raise the price.

    “no inflation here plebe. move along.”




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  7. Coming from a family of 8 kids whose parents grew up in the Depression, they always bought the cheapest tuna and my mother could feed the lot of us with one can (tuna-flavored diced pickles and mayo). I too have noticed the dwindling amount of actual floor scrapings they put in the cheap cans. After squeezing out the water, the solids (what doesn’t slip past the lid with the water) compress down to about 1/4 of an inch, half of what was in them when I was a kid. Then I discovered moderately priced solid albacore at Sam’s. You can’t push the lid down and it is one solid piece. My mother could have fed 30 with each can. Yep, penny wise and dollar stupid. A hard habit to break. I now pay 50% more for 300% more tuna — quality tuna, not floor scrapings swimming in water.

    You can get tuna in tear-open packets and I would wager that pull top cans were sold, but they probably didn’t sell enough of them to switch over completely. Consumers can be as conservative as corporations.

    With millenials growing up (maybe ‘getting older’ would be a better description), it may be time to revisit the easy-open containers again, instead of whining about can-openers.




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  8. I don’t eat that crap that is sold in grocery stores these days either. I order my tuna by the case from Merinos. Packed in olive oil and delicious. By the way, a lot of the younger people I work with now follow my lead and are buying Merinos tuna too.

    Tuna packed in spring water is f’n disgusting, Merinos is either packed in olive oil or it is a single solid filet packed in a pinch of salt and NO WATER.

    http://merinoseafoods.com/estore/store/store_results.php?Brand=&Section=&Category=&SubCat=1&Collection=&Special=&Featured=&SpecialsType=&Price1=&Price2=&ShopByStyle=&ShopByOccasion=&Size=&Color=&Material=&keyword=&offset=&M1=&W1=&B1=&G1=&BG1=&BB1=&BBG=&S1=&ShowAll=&menufilter=on




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  9. They probably think all tuna has been irradiated by Fukashima. They may have a point.
    In any case this generation is {with some well raised exceptions} a pack of sissified crybabies each of whom try to outdo the others in virtue signaling antics.
    They’ve never known a days hunger or scraped for a living, the have no idea whatsoever just how rough things can get.
    The way it’s going they just might get an education soon.




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  10. I don’t understand why millennials don’t own a P-38 as part of their face hardware. They would always have a can opener handy that way, although having a P-38 handy and knowing how to use it are two different animals. Maybe a course in school if qualified instructors can be found.




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  11. So the poor stupid dumbass millennials don’t know how to use a can opener. Good, let em starve when they find a can of food and can’t open it. I’m not sharing my can opener with them. And they’ll probably forget how to drink water if they don’t have straws or sippy cups.




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  12. All the good tuna gets sold right off the dock to the Japanese.

    They can crap now. I notice the difference.




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  13. Who the hell doesn’t have a can opener on their pocketknife?!

    Ohhh yeahhhhh – they banned TOOLS in school years ago… 🙁

    Bet they could condom up a banana in the dark in 3 seconds flat, though! 🙄




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  14. FRANK

    Where is that app?

    Joke
    I’m so old I have neither a cell, nor a smart phone. My land line has always worked




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