Rattlesnake Selfie – IOTW Report

Rattlesnake Selfie

An idiot finds a rattlesnake in his backyard and rather than chop it into little pieces he thinks it would be a good idea to pick the venomous animal up and wrap it round his neck.



The dum-dum almost lost a hand.


His Mom seems intent on embarrassing him so he won’t be so stupid in the future.  We should help her cause.



24 Comments on Rattlesnake Selfie

  1. On a rattlesnake selfie in the Utah desert
    I pick up my money and head back into town
    Driving cross the Waynesboro county line
    I got the radio on and I’m just killing time
    Working all day in my daddy’s garage
    Driving all night chasing some mirage
    Pretty soon little girl I’m gonna take charge…

  2. Well he’s lucky he still has a hand. We live in rattle snake central and I’m telling you that venom is under rated. I got a buddy that got bit by one from behind through a deck shoe. Snakes jaw got lodged in the shoe and he just kept pumping. Lucky this guys wife’s a nurse. She pushed him in the mini van and called for a police escort to the hospital. Of course not before he went back and killed the snake. Hey fuck that snake! He told me within 5 minutes after the bite he could feel his tongue swelling to the point he couldn’t breath. That was 8 years ago. His entire calf is gone. Withered away, dead. Every time he starts feeling sorry for his missing calf, after an alchohol fueled night, I always tell to bad the thing tagged you on your dick too. We have a good time.

  3. If it had been a Mojave Green, it would have been all over except for the cry’n.

  4. Brad a neighbor of mine was bitten by one while cutting his lawn. Yes, right here in New York. What you describe is exactly what he told me. His leg turned black etc. Horrible. He spent quite a few days in hospital. It was in the local papers at the time. The reporter wrote what my neighbor told him. “We notified the Bronx Zoo and they sent a snake team to the house, they found the snake and brought him back to the zoo,” where he lived happily ever after.
    It’s a serious offense to kill a snake, a lawyer, or a politician in New York.

    Real story? The brother went back to the house, found the snake, beat it to death with a shovel and buried it. End of story.

  5. I have a friend who got bit 2 months ago by a rattler. He spent 3 days in the hospital and $250,000 later. This is irony here: The friend who drove him to the hospital, 2 weeks later was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Don’t know what the correlation is, it just is. The guy snake bit is okay, the other guy is terminal. Okay…..

  6. Well I got endless stories about rattle snakes. So I need to share two. Sorry LuLu. A new construction commercial building started right a across the street from our building. Freaken snake central and guess which way the headed. The guys on the night shift were killing multiple snakes every night. Not small snake 4 foot plus. Well one of the red necks on nights is wrapping dead rattle snakes around the chairs of our Asian debburing crew. Not funny. So I calm him in, knock that shit off yada yada. He did. Instead he laid them in the bottom of the soda machine tray. You know where you dig your soda out from. Pretty entertaining. I was still laughing when I had to fire him. One of the guys on night had a bad battery and used to pull a cable off until he left. Pitch black he hears something rattling. It was on top of the damn battery. I’ll stop for tonight.

  7. My grandparent’s farm had a rock pile that we were told NEVER to play on. What did I do? Yup. So disappointed that I never saw one.

    In upper Michigan, they don’t get very venomous. My uncles were all bit at one time or another. Never went for medical help, just treated the bites at home. I suppose whatever got bit swelled up a bit but nothing serious or lasting.

    BTW, this thing about telling me to not do something? Many years ago I was watching the news when we were having lots of rain (and Spring melt). They were covering the flood of the Minnesota river. Had footage but said to not go down there. I turned off the TV and drove right down there. Never saw any flooding before. It was cool.

    I do the same thing with tornadoes. I run outside to see it.

    I know, I’m sick.

  8. Yes Big Gun, My parents used to fish Mojave Resivoir before there were roads there. Dad used to buy old Caddies with wire rims so the could loop ropes around the tires for enough traction to run the river beds. I got old pics. Bad ass lizards, bad ass scorpions, bad ass snakes, but big bass.

  9. Tommy, we have dumb ass MoFo Bay Area transplants that have moved here and insist on “Relocate the poor snake”. Until it just killed fluffy the cat, then it a whole different story. I can spot these ass holes at the grocery store and about town and cut them no slack. I kill rattlers on sight. Love my King snakes though. Sworn enemy of Rattlers. We have about six living on our little acre.

  10. Why do people like to play with snakes, large carnivors, etc. What is wrong with these people. Are they really that stupid? Like that guy Timothy Treadwell. Stupid moron goes to play with grizzly bears. He and his girlfriend became dinner. And I forget the guys name that had the show with the tiger. He survived but not by much. Why? Obama voters and Darwin Award contestants I guess.

  11. @whiskeycart – I believe you may be referring to those two dandy boys Sickfcuk & Rhoid.

  12. @whiskeycart – I think you are referring to those two dandy boys Sickfcuk & Rhoid.

  13. You couldn’t get me around a rattle snake. I’ve been out hunting in rattle snake country before but never saw one luckily. My brother killed one once on my Uncles farm down around Ontario, Oregon with a shovel and he skinned it and kept the rattles. He also let loose a 5 ft. bull snake in the house once which disappeared into a crawl space and we never saw again. And the time he killed a bull snake, skinned and cleaned it and rolled it up and stuck it in the freezer to eat later really freaked my Mom out. We always had critters around the house like horned toads, frogs, pollywogs, praying mantises but snakes were a little much.

  14. Along with a friend he also caught a rock chuck/marmot and slipped his belt around it’s neck and tried to bring it home till my Mom saw them coming and yelled at them to let it go and get rid of that damned thing now. I’m surprised my Mom at 90 survived my 3 brothers and I and didn’t kill us for being rambunctious..

  15. We live on a sand ridge, thats where dunes were when the ocean was higher, before global warming.
    We have what is called a gopher tortoise, they dig burrows in the soft sand and rattle snakes share the accommodations.
    Symbiotic relationship, the tortoise provides shelter, the snake provides protection.
    We have lots of rattlers, the dogs know to come get me, lost a horse to one though, $5K vet bill later.
    If you get bitten, try and get the snake, even though being the same species, the anti-venom is made for the individual sub species.

  16. Truer word has never been typed. I saw a guy use an old beat up plastic bag to cover his hand while he fished a crescent wrench out of a chemical toilet. No joke. It fell out of his back pocket when he dropped his pants. This shitter hadn’t been emptied in approx. two weeks.

  17. My Dad invited me to the one in Sweetwater and to go hunting for them. When he told me they don’t kill’em, my next reply was y’all have a good time.

  18. Lady here in the county got bit by a pygmy rattler.
    (thank goodness it wasn’t a midget rattler, or I couldn’t even tell y’all about it)

    We have more copperheads than rattlers.

    And more Demonrats than we need.

  19. There’s the rub, you don’t need any Democrats.

  20. Claudia, you would’ve fit right in with the locals on Oahu. When the mister was stationed there, there were tsunami warnings/protocol issued periodically. The locals didn’t follow the advice, though. Instead of heading for the highest hill, they ran to the beach with their video cameras. D’oh!

  21. Hehe, maybe when I was younger than my early 20s. But the time I tipped my canoe over while going down a very swift river, I have respected the power of water.

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