Report: Beto O’Rourke Ate Dirt with Fabled ‘Regenerative Powers’ After Losing to Ted Cruz


A new report on 2020 Democrat presidential candidate Beto O’Rourke’s marriage to real estate heiress Amy Sanders O’Rourke reveals the former Texas congressman indulged in some bizarre cuisine following his failed U.S. Senate bid in Texas.

O’Rourke, who in January launched a five-state road trip across the Southwest, found himself eating dirt told to possess “regenerative powers” during one stop in New Mexico, according to the Washington Post. The newspaper said he also brought some of the dirt back home to Texas for the family to eat, as well.

The strange antidote is one of several unflattering details to have emerged regarding O’Rourke’s past since officially launching his campaign last Thursday. In recent days, the candidate confirmed to Reuters that he was a member of a controversial hacker group the “Cult of the Dead Cow” while he was a teenager. He also admitted to penning a murder fantasy at 15-years-old in which he imagined mowing down children out jealousy for their happiness. O’Rourke was also forced to apologize on Friday for quipping during a campaign stop that he is only partly involved in raising his children.

“Not only will I not say that again, but I’ll be more thoughtful going forward in the way that I talk about our marriage, and also the way in which I acknowledge the truth of the criticism that I have enjoyed white privilege,” he told the podcast Political Party LIVE! in Cedar Rapids, Iowa.

On Monday, O’Rourke boasted his campaign raised more than $6 million in the first 24 hours. The “record-breaking” $6.1 million collected last week came “without a dime” from political action committees, corporations or special interests, O’Rourke spokesman Chris Evans tweeted. The figure is just above what Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) reported for his first day as a 2020 candidate.  read more

18 Comments on Report: Beto O’Rourke Ate Dirt with Fabled ‘Regenerative Powers’ After Losing to Ted Cruz

  1. Did his wife prepare the dirt for him and did it have any “avocado” in it?

    What a total dunderhead, nitwit, knucklehead, numskull, blockhead, dummy, chucklehead, nincompoop, lunkhead, birdbrain, imbecile, bubblehead, dum-dum, fathead, moron, shlub, chowderhead, lamebrain, pinhead, dullard, airhead, dope, jackass, half-wit, ignoramus, nimrod, doofus, etc.

  2. he should eat shit and roll in crackerjacks

    it is called pica, and geophagia to be specific. It is in the DSM.
    “Pica is most commonly seen in pregnant women,[6] small children, and those with developmental disabilities such as autism.” (that might go along with his hyperactivity, related to exaggerated gesturing and animation).
    “Human geophagia may be related to pica, an eating disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) characterized by abnormal cravings for non-nutritive items.”

    sincerely, I hope he is up to date on his tetanus vaccinations.
    at least he has moved on from paint chips

    Amalgamated Consolidators Incorporated, LTD announces:
    After tedious analysis, our Research and Development team has scheduled a fund raising event for beto supporters. There will be an all you can eat buffet, this Friday from 4:30 to midnight. Several varieties of dirt will be offered, and ditch water will be provided to accompany the meal. Cost will be $39.95, with half price for under 16. All proceeds will be donated to the Society of the Politically Insane. Bon Appetit!

  4. Please nominate this guy. From eating dirt to trying to get his wife to eat their baby’s poop, and everything else that is coming out along with his general behavior I’d love for Trump to be able to nickname him, for the Hollywood elite to throw insane cash at him, and for him to lose again. Wonder what he’d have to eat then to recover.

  5. Well that’s it then. O’Dourke is my guy. Why go with the steadfast leadership of a guy like Donald J Trump when l can be entertained by the dirt eating, skateboarding, donkeyhead jammieswearing tone deaf, senate losing, stepford wife ignoring, absentee congressman, phony Mexican, on the road again, brown skinned evicter in favor of billionaire father-in-law, near murderous DUI guy?

    Yes. Robert Francis O’Dourke is my guy.

  6. caution: side effects of eating dirt include profuse sweating, uncontrollable hand gestures, grandiose thoughts of oneself, severe mouth flatulence, DUI/Hit-&-Run fantasies, leading to actual acting-out incidents & a very high degree of dorkyness

  7. Did someone say Kamala and Liz?

    I’m running a two for one special today… or was that a two on one special


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