Sperm Don’t Swim The Way Scientists Thought

Live Science

Under a microscope, human sperm seem to swim like wiggling eels, tails gyrating to and fro as they seek an egg to fertilize. 

But now, new 3D microscopy and high-speed video reveal that sperm don’t swim in this simple, symmetrical motion at all. Instead, they move with a rollicking spin that compensates for the fact that their tails actually beat only to one side. More

51 Comments on Sperm Don’t Swim The Way Scientists Thought

  1. Like a corkscrewing kind of motion? They seem to know what they’re doing – which is kind of amazing considering their brains are so small! (Okay, boys and girls, all together now, 1, 2, 3…)

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  2. This is the first article ever posted here that i’m pretty sure could get me banned if I comment….

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  3. “…their tails actually beat only to one side…” Isn’t that how many of them first venture forth into the world?

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  4. They sure are determined little guys and totally non discriminatory as some of them even had the guts to sail bravely up Hillary Clinton’s putrid canal!

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  5. “Mine use to throw a rooster tail”….that’s why I quit fucking chickens ….bada BING….

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  6. …one time there was a sperm who had ambition like no other. He knew he was competing with millions of his brothers to be the ONE that would fertilize the egg, so he set up a gym in the eh, “ballroom”, and worked out day and night so much it sometimes woke the Man up from the twinge in his ballz.

    The sperm didn’t care, though, HE was gonna WIN. He was ripped and swole and could swim like a shark, and he was STOKED.

    Then the big day, um, “came”.

    The exit tube inflated and opened. The ballroom started pushing. Everyone crowded through the vas deferens, through the prostate, and headed towards the glass at breaktail speed, but that swole sperm was at the, ahhh, “head” of the pack.

    He was far and away out front and even briefly disappeared through the exit.

    ….then suddenly he RETURNED, side-stroking madly through the mob, plunging through the pack even against the powerful stream of gathering ejaculate.

    “GO BACK! GO BACK! he bellowed to his brothers, “IT’S A BLOW JOB!!!

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  7. …y’know, this thread seems like a total sausage fest for…some reason…why do you suppose the ladies aren’t chiming in?

    …I’m pretty sure that, given the general age group we have, they have some experience with the subject(s)…

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  8. gin blossom AUGUST 1, 2020 AT 6:38 PM
    “They’d make good bait if you want to catch really small fish.”

    …or a big, lifelong commitment to loaded diapers, high fevers, empty wallets, last-minute science projects, late studies, broken hearts, wrecked cars, college bills, and meeting the woman that steals him away…

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  9. PHenry AUGUST 1, 2020 AT 6:46 PM
    “You are all are very twisted individuals.

    Some day I will tell you about my big swim”

    ….yes we are.

    …and TODAY is good…

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  10. Ramona AUGUST 1, 2020 AT 6:48 PM
    “@Supernightshade

    Got a good laugh from your blow job joke.”

    …that’s what SHE said!

    (Ramona appears to be a female name so that’s literally TRUE, for once…;)

    …and thanks, but I didn’t invent it. I just had very disreputable friends way back in school that always bruised my virgin little ears, and a good memory for REALLY bad,tasteless jokes…

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  11. Don’t these “scientists” have anything bettering to do than jerking off on a microscope? And please don’t tell me it was a government funded “research project”.

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  12. These are the details that help prove creation by design. Cellular structure and how it all works is magnificent to behold.

    No simple chemicals getting together made this.

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  13. “Drill Baby, Drill !!!”

    @SNS ~ hone that joke to ‘anal’ & it would be funnier … just sayin’

    (& they’d have to be a ‘long-distance swimmer’ to get around to them eggs! 😜)

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  14. (Imagine a horse race announcer…)

    And they’re off! The gate is open with Jimmy out first with a stumbling comment only to be passed by Billy Fuster on his back. Willy’s goat is holding back while Bad_Brad kicks up dirt ahead of him with a Fish out of water. Rick seems hesitant while here comes SNS! It looks like he’s writing a thesis! No, it’s a joke, ladies and gentlemen, and he’s rollin’! Gin Blossom, PHenry and TRF are side by side with quips to their flanks. Ramona is in the middle of the pack as SNS moves up again on the outside. Rick and TRF are head-to-head as Rick bumps SNS with a toaster as he moves by him! Tony R is on the rail as as Dadof4 proves he’s been in this race before! But here comes Ronterf and Molon on the outside chasing Ann Nonymous Prime! They’re down the stretch and N.Conclusive is out of nowhere at the end!

    As they cross the finish line, it’s N.Conclusive by a hair! He stops to realize he now has to bore his way into the prize for a new lease on life!

    But wait! Everyone else crossed the finish line too and are ignoring the apparent winner! They’re all trying to bore their way in!

    Stay tuned – but we may never know who actually won the race but rather learn “life finds a way.”

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  15. Fish on a Bicycle
    AUGUST 1, 2020 AT 6:20 PM
    “They sure are determined little guys and totally non discriminatory as some of them even had the guts to sail bravely up Hillary Clinton’s putrid canal!”

    …well, if you’re bringing up foul feminine flues…

    …Guy goes into a whorehouse desperate for SOME kind of sex, but doesn’t have a lot of money. The best deal he can get is that he can perform cunniligus on one of the girls. He goes in expecting the worst, but she’s actually somewhat pretty, and she’s already naked and posed, so he falls to his task.

    …during the proceedings, he feels something on his lips. He pulls back in surprise and spits out a pea.

    …strange though that was, the clock is running, so once more into the breach he goes.

    And this time, comes away with a carrot.

    …the mood broken, he asks the woman, “What is with these peas and carrots? Are you sick or somethin’?”

    …to which she replies,”No, but the guy BEFORE you wuz..”

    …and @Rick, I’ll take my toaster in stainless, and don’t go cheap, I expect you to give something that fully reflects your worth…

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  16. OK. Here goes.

    My older brother died at age one. My father was understandably devastated, but my mom was determined to reproduce.

    I recently learned that mom used a straight pin on the condom.

    So, against all odds, I get to pester you all. I made through the wall, giddyuped the Fallopian tube and have made myself a general nuisance ever since.

    You’re welcome. Hahaha.

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  17. Hmmm. Maybe I should change my screen name.
    General Nuisance.

    Pretty snappy and it’s a promotion.

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  18. Since a males brains are located in his penis, according to the madams, he must lose a ton of brainpower every time he ejaculates! So hey boy, stay a virgin and stay smart!

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  19. “their tails actually beat only to one side.” Which leads to the questions

    – Does the side they beat on determine sexual orientation & political beliefs? Born that way.

    – Or is that created later by the education the resulting child receives and/or the people the child is influenced by? Created by culture/society.

    – Does this explain the differences between Esau and Jacob? (Or other siblings?)

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