Starbucks Closing 150 Shops in Urban Areas – Refocusing on Middle America

Can you see the gigantic font in between the lines?

Starbucks has a new policy where they will let freeloaders use their store for the warmth, or cool, the wifi and the bathroom.

They just announced that they are going to close stores in densely populated urban areas where there isn’t much profit to be made and focus on “middle America.”

Hmmmmm. Is Starbucks using dogwhistle words?

What do they mean?

34 Comments on Starbucks Closing 150 Shops in Urban Areas – Refocusing on Middle America

  1. I passed through Danville, KY last week and saw they just opened a new location. It’s on the same street where their previous location, which was only open about a year, closed about 5 years ago. Oddly, the closed location has been for sale with no takers all this time. You’d think they could just re-open in the same spot.

    7
  2. “Starbucks closing stores in urban areas.” This is rich. I am seriously cracking up here!

    Bro, do you even irony?

    23
  3. So good to see SBUX make the mass consumer grade. I love to watch companies who have built a brand around “unique customer experience” falter and be seen for what it always was — just an over-hyped, ordinary product drenched in manufactured cachet. Anyone here know how much SBUX sells a “cake pop” for? It’s a round ball of frosted cake on a stick that is slightly smaller than a golf ball. Two of those and a grande decaf white chocolate mocha, with whip, will take care of a $20.00.

    And, no, that’s not my order. I don’t go to SBUX.

    They better stay urban because SBUX won’t fly with the flyovers. Micky D’s makes a fine (large) cup ‘o Joe for a buck.

    28
  4. I defy them to open a store in the geographic center of the United States of America….fox, badgers,coyotes, dove, turkey,pheasant and quail like Folgers when they feel like waking up….

    12
  5. So good to see SBUX make the mass consumer grade. I detest companies who have built a brand around “unique customer experience” falter and be seen for what it always was — just an over-hyped, ordinary product drenched in manufactured cachet. Anyone here know how much SBUX sells a “cake pop” for? It’s a round ball of frosted cake, slightly smaller than a golf ball, on a stick. Two of those and a grande decaf white chocolate mocha, with whip, will take care of a $20.00.

    And, no, that’s not my order. I don’t go to SBUX.

    4
  6. Mary Jane: Two new Dutch Bros. Opening soon in LV! One on Blue Diamond, the other on Windmill. Just so you know.

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  7. It’s like Toys R Us giving money to PP. You’re killing your base SB. Who is your base? Hipsters and Real Estate agents. These people don’t like the homeless, the thugs, the perverts just staying in the place using the bathrooms and scaring the paying customers.

    S/B is now going to call home a place where the people can’t stand it. Good luck with that.

    20
  8. Look for the repurposing of these closing Starbunks.
    New DICKS stores will be substantially smaller.

    12
  9. So, they shut down for a day, did the Sensitivity Training… and then got sensitive to the lack of profit in certain areas with certain policies. Heh. Kaaaarmaah!!

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  10. Starbucks, tone deaf to the irony, want to sell their burnt sludge in “middle” America because the communities aren’t overrun with bums. Most people in flyover country actually work. Doubt there’s a big market for overpriced, bad coffee made for progressive elitist snobs in “middle” America.

    13
  11. Most people can’t tell $3.00 wine from $60.00 wine.

    The same with coffee….

    Some people ‘have’ to have SB and cant tell the difference from convenience store coffee.

    8
  12. Remember when they overbuilt 7-11’s and it seemed like there was one on every corner. The same thing is happening to Starschmucks. I can get far better coffee a heck of a lot cheaper at most truck stops and there is less riffraff hanging around trucks stops and hardly any hipsters who wouldn’t be caught dead there. And I can remember when full service gas stations were everywhere, now they’re mostly overpriced, ripoff convenience stores and stop and robs in urban areas.

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  13. Oh darn, I’ve never been in one although there are several close by. They always struck me as too trendy and phony. Besides their coffee sucks. Now maybe I’ll never get the chance. Boo hoo

    4
  14. Maybe just for the hipsters Starschmucks could play Sugar Shack by the Fireballs from the early 60’s in the background. Espresso coffee tastes mighty good, but they would probably think the song is sexist since he has a cute little girlie waiting for him and he marries her. And if they really want to stir things up and make people mad play Bottle Of Wine (for the bums, vagrants, ne’erdowells who hang around Starschmucks and use it as their hangout thanks to their idiotic generosity) also by the Fireballs.

    3
  15. There are 3 Fivebucks locations around here – never been to any of them.
    I brew Farmer Bros. coffee at home; why have anything else?

    5
  16. Simple math, there are more chicks with Ugg boots in middle America who want multisyllable beverages than there are urban hipsters with ironic T-shirts.
    The writing is on the wall for urban Starbucks. Profit will go down in urban areas because half their clientele will be homeless non payers washing themselves in the bathroom sink

    4
  17. @AbigailAdams June 19, 2018 at 10:58 pm – “Micky D’s makes a fine (large) cup ‘o Joe for a buck.”

    And it’s a LOT better coffee. Black Rifle Coffee is good too. So is Covfefe. LOL

    5
  18. If I go downtown I go early
    and eat at Einstein’s deli
    on Kirby.Good food & mud.I get
    a seat by the line and get to see
    every flavor of the pretty city girls
    on their way to work.

    2
  19. I know I’m a bigot.
    Never been in a Starbucks, for coffee or a piss.
    Never will.
    If they put one up at the end of my (rural) driveway and offered me free coffee for life, I still wouldn’t go in.
    Not even to piss.

    Fuck those over-priced, self-righteous maggots.
    I’ll stick with Folger’s, Micky-D’s, and 7-11.
    (Actually, I prefer straight up ice water (crushed ice) – or Gatorade: Cool Blue, Orange, or Lemon-Lime – or a nice Single Malt)

    izlamo delenda est …

    2
  20. This is hilarious. It happened even faster than I thought it would.

    For good coffee and fabulous atmosphere, it’s the Upstart Crow Bookstore and Coffee House in San Diego. But since I can’t really get there from here these days, I either drive-through Heine’s if I’m out and about or make it at home.

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