The Optimal Height – IOTW Report

The Optimal Height

Thursday, 3 July 2025, 22:00 MJA Uncategorized 34

34 Comments on The Optimal Height

  5. 10 years ago I gave up to the receding hairline. It all migrated down my neck and onto my back. No way I was going to do a comb-over. Bought a home haircutting electric razor and my wife cuts it every three weeks with the #2 comb.

    9

  7. ^^^^
    New guy at the gym morning crew. Dudes wearing a full on mullet. Wears religious tee shirts while he trains. Calls me sir, which I have problems with. Tats from one end to the other. Smart enough to ask me for advice. A very kind soul. My new fav morning crew member

    12

  11. A mullet is a fish that doesn’t look anything like any kind of hairstyle. I don’t get it, but I think I have a little bit of that mullet look, but not enough hair to have a big mullet.

    Right now it’s long in the back only because I’m too lazy to go get a haircut.

    3

  13. The guy’s an amateur. There was a fifty some year old guy who rode the commuter train to and from Seattle daily. Skin tight leather pants. Home distressed rock band T-shirt, chains, dangling earings. It was the same bullshit getup he wore to high school in the 1970s.

    7

  14. (eye roll)

    Last time I used a hair dryer was to remove some vinyl lettering off a truck I bought from another pest control company.

    My hair doesn’t need any more drying than a towel swipe right after a shower. Might as well shave it all off like my sons do.

    8

  15. Was 35 before I knew I had wavy hair. It was blonde and short, then dirty blonde and a little longer, then dirty blonde and wavy, then dirty blonde and grey and retired.
    Thirty years and it’s Gandalf silver with matching beard, not whiskers, a full silver beard.
    Get asked all the time around Christmas to play Santa for any number of churches.
    For some reason black women are attracted to it, total strangers come up and pet me.
    Little maintenance, wash, comb, tie back, done.

    7

  16. No hair is much easier, cheaper and a time saver. If you have any hair, I recommend the “ping” military close inspection cut every two weeks or less. Move out!!

    7

  19. I just go to the barber and get what I call the “Summer Cut” … all year ’round. Easy, quick, simple and no paint on the bald spot. Tis, what it tis.

    7

  23. @Nifter
    Bonus, save a LOT of money on haircuts.
    Up on ya by almost 10 years.
    Not as thick as it once was, like I said, ladies love it.
    Wife tried cutting sons hair, no matter how hard she tried, he always ended up with a buzz cut, lol.
    Told him I would try, he looked at me like I threatened him with a beating.

    2

  24. I have my hair cut buzz cut twice a year to a #3 setting. When I was a kid, my dad cut my 3 brothers hair and myself buzz cut short in what we called a pig shave. Shorter hair is much easier to maintain, and it keeps my head cooler especially during the hot summer months. I have the barber trim my beard to a #3 setting at least 3 to 4 times a year and only grow it out in a full Santa beard around Christmas time for my grandkids. When it gets too long it makes me look like a bum.

    2

  25. If you want a short short haircut join the military. The first day of Navy bootcamp the Navy barbers made jokes at us at how we wanted our haircut and proceeded to cut it all the way down to the skin. Guys who had longer hair a minute ago no longer looked recognizable because we all looked the same.

    2

  26. In ’72 I grew my hair long and a full beard, did anything to identify as “NOT” a returning Veit Vet (not a good time to have served one’s Country). Although 53 years later, I’ve been told, “Thank you for your Service” by those who never served, born in the 80s, 90s and beyond and know nothing of that “conflict”, which is difficult for me to graciously respond to. But, I do.
    After graduating College, I became civilized and cut my hair to gain employment. For 28 years, suit, tie and presentable to organize and speak before large gatherings. Upon retirement (23 years ago) I again grew my hair long, full beard (Mid-chest) to avoid any conversation about anything (anti-social). Hair and beard has been gray for some years, I’m clean, good clothes, may be mistaken for someone who gives a shit what I may be identified or labeled as. Most people never make eye contact or try to converse, which suits me. I enjoy anonymity to its fullest.
    I’m at the age where I can no longer make “new” old friends to replace most of my friends and family who left this earth before me.
    I have been Blessed beyond my deserving; I’ve grown accustomed to Enjoying each day I am given.

    6

  27. The first year after I got out of the Navy in 1975, I let my hair grow out until it was down over my shoulders and grew my beard out as well. I only got it cut a year later because my younger brother was getting married to his first wife and I was the best man.

    3

  30. #1 buzzer every ten days, need it or not. Not quite severely short beard, edged tight neck and cheek. Wish to appear neat for the clientele. Old dudes with long hair and long beards look like they’re stuck in the past at this point.

    2

  31. I bought a Flowbee 35 years ago and have never been to a barber since.
    $10 per month X 12 mos= $120 X 35 years=$4,200·years saved!!! People made fun of Flowbees but they were fools.

    2

  33. Dadof4 at 0345

    HAHA, that reminds me . . . :

    IOTW TRUE STORY

    I used a corded drill with a 100 foot grounded extension cord on a GFC box chucked with an old school sized sand paper paint slapper 120 Grit to remove the painted HVAC company name off of the used van bought at the used car place next to the base where the ATC tower that no longer exists used to sit and now sits further up the block next to where the barbershop used to be.

    Good Van. Traded it a year later for a truck, but that really is another story.

    Anyway, the paint slapper works well, but there will be dust.
    But there always is as it’s a dusty place wherethat was out in the desert.

    Good Times

    Happy Fourth of July. USA USA. IOTW.
    LYA

    3

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