ThePeople’sCube: The People’s Cube is 15 years old. Celebrate responsibly.
As all progressive humanity celebrates the Glorious 15th Anniversary of The People’s Cube, we officially advise you to conduct spontaneous celebratory marches within at least six feet from one another in square formations. The Great Pandemic of International Coronavirus dictates that workers of the world must unite cautiously and without touching. Once having been united, don’t forget to sanitize your equipment, marching signs, and/or shovels. Beet vodka-based hand sanitizer will be provided behind Tractor Barn #2.
We can neither confirm nor deny that the ongoing global lockdown and universal self-isolation is the result of a conspiracy to usher the unwashed masses into the Glorious Progressive World of Next Tuesday. We can confirm, however, that the conspirators, who may or may not exist, have badly miscalculated and may have to face a very different outcome.
The unwashed masses will come out of this quarantine thoroughly washed, smelling of hand sanitizer, and with the realization that governments cannot be relied upon to protect and provide in a time of need, and that to be self-reliant is a better and safer way to go. With each passing moment, millions of idle minds around the world are getting infected with these and similar thoughtcrimes, which is worse than the very virus that had caused them to stay indoors and have idle thoughts.
By the time the pandemic is over, everyone will be convinced that…