The Wit and Wisdom of Peter Paul Montgomery Buttigieg

The ‘white Obama’ wunderkind has mastered the art of political rhetoric.

WFB: Peter Paul Montgomery Buttigieg, the 38-year-old presidential candidate who previously served as mayor of Indiana’s fourth-largest city, is the Democratic Party’s most gifted rhetorician since Barack H. Obama. His deep-voiced demeanor and majestic oratorical prowess have made him a formidable candidate among a select demographic of wealthy whites with graduate degrees.

“If you believe in a democracy where every vote is counted and every voter counts, where nobody wins a political race by discriminating on the basis of race, this campaign is for you,” said Buttigieg, profoundly, after his third-place finish in the Nevada caucus on Saturday. Such cerebral wordplay has long been a staple of his campaign rhetoric.

“Most Americans don’t see where they fit if they’ve got to choose between a socialist who thinks that capitalism is the root of all evil and a billionaire who thinks that money ought to be the root of all power,” mused Buttigieg, brilliantly, during the Democratic debate in Las Vegas. “We shouldn’t have to choose between one candidate who wants to burn this party down and another candidate who wants to buy this party out. We can do better.”

Washington Free Beacon.

If Democratic voters are looking to nominate a masterful wordsmith—not to mention a nice young man who studied abroad in Afghanistan—they can’t do better than Buttigieg. The Washington Free Beacon has curated some of Mayor Pete’s most powerful rhetorical achievements below, in no particular order.

20 Comments on The Wit and Wisdom of Peter Paul Montgomery Buttigieg

  1. Petey has been listening stoned to too much Firesign Theatre:

    Gentlemen, gentlemen!
    I won’t take any more credit for this Victory than is necessary.
    Lord Kitchener did not
    — nay, will not
    — die in vain,

    Grid Willing.

    [Over applause] Gentlemen, gentlemen!
    I as Leader will use Power like a drum
    and Leadership like a violin.

    Pick out any Idea.
    Compare Ideas.
    With the One Idea left you have no Doubt,
    and without a Doubt we have Enthusiasm!

    Gentlemen, gentlemen!
    Please, gentlemen!
    To make Life hold —
    it’s as easy as a Bridge!
    Now, now, gentlemen!

    Gentlemen, now that we have attained Control
    we must pull together as One! Like a Twin!
    Keeping the Prophesy of Power as Enthusiasm!

    All for one! (All for one!)
    And all for one! (And all for one!)

    Let me hear it for me!

    You’re under arrest!

  2. I’m just here for Chasten’s Bleached Starfish’s annotations and reminiscences. I had dinner long ago, so bring it, CBS.

  3. It takes a man, in a tweed suit, five and a half seconds to fall from the top of Big Ben to the ground. Now there’s not many people know that.

  4. OH TOODLE LOO Thirdtwin! Nice to have a fan! I’ll give it my best money shot aimed at Petey B who’s across the hall…

    Petey B has also been known to say when his mouth isn’t full, “If you can hold your dick in your hand, then you can take that dick and cram it in some dude’s pooper. If that sounds deliciously enticing then this campaign’s for you.”

  5. Build a man a fire and keep him warm for a night. Start a man on fire and keep him warm for the rest of his life.

  6. Steve Brown

    Actually I believe that saying goes,

    “Build a man a fire and keep him warm for a night. Set a man on fire and keep him warm for the rest of his life.

  7. …Peter Paul, eh?

    …some of you young ‘uns may not know that a company named Peter Paul once owned and marketed Almond Joy candy bars and Mounds candy bars, under the tag line “Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t”

    …sounds like Peter Paul Buttwhatever to me…

  8. Pete hasn’t manage to elevate his rhetorical vomit much above the unconvincing speeches that doomed his Junior High school student council campaign.
    On the other hand, pointless blathering is a must in the democrat party.

  9. Mad Max Waters
    Crazy Pelosi
    Lyin Schitt
    Fauxahontas Warren
    Pete Butterbutt

    Doesn’t take much to impress a lot of people, does it?
    Says more about our mal-education than about ideology.

    Con-men and grifters used to be tarred-and-feathered and then run out of town on a rail – now we elect em to high office!

    Seems like the world’s getting ready for another convulsion.

    izlamo delenda est …

  10. You need to add Poindexter to that long name. And a beanie cap with a propeller on it. And a tattoo on his forehead that says “What me worry.” I was going to say he could wear a dunce cap but we’ll save that for AOC.

  11. “If you want to hear about faggot orgies in the Lincoln bedroom, vote for petey boy.”
    How’s that for an accurate campaign slogan?

  12. Tim FEBRUARY 25, 2020 AT 6:39 AM

    “Con-men and grifters used to be tarred-and-feathered and then run out of town on a rail – now we elect em to high office!”

    “We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.” — Aesop


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