Complied by Middle Finger News Entertainment Reporter, Roach Clip Johnson, During a Series of Recent Lucid Moments
The Doors: You have been bitten by an animal while trying to get it stoned.
Jimi Hendrix: You are under 20 or over 65.
Black Sabbath: Your greatest joy is painting in unventilated rooms.
The Grateful Dead: Your stories about the ‘70s make your daughter’s roommates at Tufts very uncomfortable.