What Your Favorite Classic Rock Band Says About You – IOTW Report

What Your Favorite Classic Rock Band Says About You

Diogenes’ Middle Finger:

Complied by Middle Finger News Entertainment Reporter, Roach Clip Johnson, During a Series of Recent Lucid Moments

The Doors: You have been bitten by an animal while trying to get it stoned.

Jimi Hendrix: You are under 20 or over 65.

Black Sabbath: Your greatest joy is painting in unventilated rooms.

The Grateful Dead: Your stories about the ‘70s make your daughter’s roommates at Tufts very uncomfortable.

39 Comments on What Your Favorite Classic Rock Band Says About You

  1. David Bowie – There’s a gold lamay jump suit in the back of your closet that fit 30 years ago.

    Elton John – You own an untuned upright piano with stacks of “greatest hits” song books collecting dust under the bureau with the missing foot.

    Led Zepplin – There’s an empty lava lamp and broken black light in your attic that you really should take to Salvation Army some time.

    The Who – You really need to clean the pool and replace the webbing on the old lawn chairs placed around the barbeque grill.

    Bob Dylan – You either need your ears checked or have your Visiting Angel schedule you a visit with the gerontologist.

  2. Uncle Al – your mention of Cream reminded me of that song, SWABLR. Remember that one?

    We all used to work it out in the kid bands and never knew what the acronym stood for.
    Jack Bruce’s co-writer, Pete Brown wrote it with Jack.
    Pete, always the poet.

    It stands for
    “She Was Like A Bearded Rainbow!”

    Trippy, man! 😆

  3. Amboy Dukes?
    John Mayall?
    Paul Butterfield?
    The Electric Flag?
    The Rascals?
    Ultimate Spinach?
    Mad River?
    Jefferson Airplane?

    I’m sure there’re more but I’m going out to smoke a Montecristo and read.
    (don’t remember so well at my age … heh heh … age prolly isn’t the problem)

    mortem tyrannis
    izlamo delenda est …

  4. Did I miss the Rolling Stones? Or are they not included cause they are not only classic, but current?
    Someone (looking at you IOTWrs) who is more clever than I should be able to come up with a good one about the boys!

  5. @Agatha Kakalogical — You mean like this?

    Rolling Stones: These days, when you go to a Stones concert (and you’ve been to more than 40 of them), you park in a handicapped space and then use a walker to get to your seat. And because you’ve been to all those concerts you now have cochlear implants and can barely hear the music but it doesn’t matter because you have memorized all the songs.

  6. Grand Funk- You still go shirtless everywhere even though you got 73yo saggy man boobs.

    MC5- you still sport a huge man perm…but now you got a big ole bald spot in the back.

  7. Uncle Al. I thought I was the only remaining person who remember Long John Baldry. Or even heard of him. Wow. Wasn’t one side of that album produced by Elton John and the other produced by Rod Stewart? I have it on vinyl but I am too lazy to look it up.

  8. Al, you sent me down the rabbit hole. You bastard. Sadly Spotify dropped the inquiry from the magistrate at the beginning of Boogie Woogie.
    But Black Girl & It Ain’t Easy is still there.
    That was the essence of rock back then.

  9. @PHenry — This is one area that I trust Wikipedia. There’s nothing ideological or political about most of this stuff, and not that many people care anyway!

    In their article about the album It Ain’t Easy, they say:

    According to extensive notes about Long John Baldry’s career in the re-release 2005 CD, Rod Stewart was brought on board to produce It Ain’t Easy for Warner Brothers. Soon after in 1970, Stewart met Baldry’s former Bluesology bandmate Elton John at a party and the piano player joined on, too. Stewart and John each produced half of this bluesy album, with John contributing much of the piano work. Stewart brought in mate Ronnie Wood to play guitar, as well as many others who would appear on Stewart’s Every Picture Tells a Story, released later in 1971.

    The Baldry album features his biggest U.S. hit, “Don’t Try to Lay No Boogie-Woogie on the King of Rock and Roll”; Baldry once noted how Stewart’s loose and late-night recording sessions affected the tracks, “especially those recorded on my thirtieth birthday when he showed up with cases of Remy Martin cognac and several measures of good quality champagne!” Baldry points out that “Don’t Try to Lay No Boogie-Woogie on the King of Rock and Roll” was recorded “whilst laying [sic] on the floor”.

  10. Black Sabbath: Your greatest joy is painting in unventilated rooms*.
    *[usually without any Paint Respirators]

    yep, but also, this is what yugo, serbian, croatian and bosnian men do as well, because they’re house painters by trade, and they don’t take to following superiors orders well so they’re self employed as painters pretty much their entire life. They also take 6 to 9 month vacations to the old country and are looked upto as heros in american, where as the 1 to 2 months they actually do work in america they are the foreigners from an adriatic sea facing country and looked up to as daring and mysterious men that have made it in america, but in reality they are looked down upon by their families because they are lazy men and never work much, always wanting to party, and are always borrowing money from their sister that married a multi millionaire self made man, and they have many out of wedlock children roaming the planet in search of who the fuck their father is.

    I’m neither of these, I just know allot of these men. and I like Black Sabbath

  11. @Uncle Al. I just went through my vinyl and I still have Long John Baldry on vinyl. 1971. It was to the left of all of the Beatles albums. Haha. I file by genre and alphabet.

  12. I have hundreds of vinyl albums and hundreds of CDs. I should probably liquidate them. That would allow me the space to hoarde toilet tissue.

    I guess I don’t need this stuff anymore.

  13. A few that went unmentioned but were great live

    Allman Brothers
    George Thorolygood & The Delaware Destroyers
    Robin Trower
    Steve Miller
    Marshall Tucker
    Uriah Heep
    Todd Rundgren
    Little Feat
    Thin Lizzy
    Head East
    J Geils Band
    Tom Petty
    REO Speedwagon

  14. 1987 CD VCD remasterisé M&J 1988 Vanessa Paradis 1989 MnLnZ . . . v=Ulay2FvUEd8 https://youtu.be/Ulay2FvUEd8 . . . LND 1983 DrWho and mister How Wow . . . watch untranslated french 1988 music vid and then hit lyricstranslate com . . . COMM 6 4 DOOR

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